HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Down with the OSPCA



According to my Toronto Correspondent, the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals have slaughtered 99 of their own rescue pets! And another 250 are waiting to be killed!




All of the animals were up for adoption; some had been reserved by happy families who had scheduled dates to take their new pets home.




According to the OSPCA, which is only too happy to step in and prosecute what IT considers cruel, the reason for this "cull" is... (wait for it)... an outbreak of RINGWORM! And even healthy animals are scheduled to be put down.




OSPCA's loyal staff and volunteers have kidnapped and purloined 15 doggies and cats... but the fate of the other 236 hangs in the balance. A temporary stop on the slaughter has been ordained while the organization try to solve the PR nightmare they've brought down on themselves...




Ringworm, apparently, is too serious a disease to bother treating in a humane way.




Well that being so, let's hope the OSPCA's director catches it, then someone can chop her head off and see how she likes it!






Toronto Star report
Toronto Sun report
OSPCA's website

22 comments:

Sweden said...

awww thats so sweet of u to bring this up!
yeah ive been trying since tuesday to take in a cat but they wont let anyone adopt, even the healthy animals.
it all comes down to money, it's cheaper to just kill all 350 animals instead of testing them and treating the sick,and saving the ones that are not sick. but because there has been such uproar they are kinda halting the slaughter, like i said "only" 99 have been killed the past 2 days.
bullshit.

Sweden said...

here is link to the website of the OSPCA in question
and of course since monday there has been thousands of news articles and reports following this story

Gledwood said...

The link never came through...

One of the news reports said it was a "particularly virulent strain of ringworm" ~~ how virulent can ringworm get?

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

You will be pleased to know that it looks like they are now taking the next two months to treat the animals who are affected. S'pose the public humiliation tactic worked. The sad thing is this is totally out of character for the Newmarket OSPCA.... The location is beautiful with large CLEAN living environments, access to some of the best small and large animal vets in the province, dedicated staff and a healthy volunteer community. This really truley did shock me.

Merle said...

Hi Gleds ~~ That sounds just awful -
and they are supposed to rescue and care for animals. Poor little things
There seems to always be bad news around the world.
For a bit of good news, Jessica the 16 year old who sailed around the world solo gets home tomorrow. She faced some very rough seas.
I don't like the sound of a sleeping pill derived from cat's sleep hormone.
Thanks for your good wishes about my health and I am so glad no op at present. See what6 months bring.
Take care, my friend,Regards,Merle.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I agree, love. For shame.

Have a terrific weekend.

SB

Gledwood said...

Reeny: well I'm glad at last they're seeing sense, even if it did take the intervention of the public...

Merle: Hi Merle!
Is Jessica Australian? I saw something about an English boy who did a similar voyage ~ I'm pretty sure it was worldwide too... The Southern Ocean looks particularly formidable, "Pacific" is definitely the wrong word here; apparently they have 60ft waves as a matter of course, swilling round and round the bottom of the world with no land to stop them. I saw the film; as the voice-over pointed out at 16 you've probably never been alone for more than a few hours ~ these kids are out there with no human company for weeks and weeks ~ tears, private tantrums, the lot...
I'm glad you're OK ;->...

SB: hey maybe now those poor furries will live to see the weekend out!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Oh, that's terrible. I am so upset.

Syd said...

I'm glad that they are going to treat rather than kill. Thanks for those who speak up and are the voice of the animals when they can't speak for themselves.

Gledwood said...

Welshcakes: :-<...

Syd:... which is what OSPCA and their ilk are supposedly there to do. And I really can't believe they actually put at least one dog down who was signed up, waiting to go home with a family. How on earth can anyone justify that..?

Sweden said...

yeah that was SAGO the german shepperd, adopting at OSPCA is not easy you have to fill out many forms,and sit through a proper interview, you have to give information such as your job, how you live etc etc then they call you if they think you are a match, one animal may have more than one person that wants to adopt it so you may not get the pet even after all that, this guy went through all that and was ready to pick up SAGO and they killed him on tuesday.The owner was very very upset.
he had taken pics of SAGO and after the news went to the media with his story.

i mean its good they screen the people so well that way you know the animal will go to a (probably) good home. I mean at the THS u go in pick an animal pay $20 and they give it to u that same day, its almost too easy.

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

Gledwood: I just posted a rant that was written by my animals activist friend...go and read it....

Gledwood said...

Kat'rina-Sweden: poor Sago... poor guy.

They have similarly stringent protocol for adopting rescue pets over here... Sometimes I do think they are going OTT when just anyone can pick up a "normal" puppy or kitten no questions asked, they've got all these animals some with behaviour problems others not necessarily the prettiest and they're making it HARDER to take 'em home... on the other hand it's perfectly right to make sure a poor furry who's been let down once is never ever abandoned ever again :-/

Elaine-Reeny: thanks I'm on my way ...

Sweden said...

im posted a follow up comment but it didnt post and i got annoyed ok so ill re type.

i def think shelters SHOULD make it harder to adopt, to screen more properly to ensure that the new ower is serious about the adoption, is a proper fit, and will ensure a good home, and a good match. The THS (toronto humane society) is notorious for not giving a flying fuck, 6?? years ago this guy got arrested for cruelty to animals after the police did some investigation it turned out that he had for years gone to the THS adopting cats, but because they dont do a proper interview, dont keep your name on file, or anything (like make you show ID etc) he had gotten away with it. So for years he had picked up these poor souls taken them home and tortured/killed them, he was skinning them alive and lit them on fire amongst many things. If the THS would have been more strict they would have noticed that this went on. I thought after that fiasco they would have changed, but when i went there 3 years ago, i saw mango told her i wanted her, they told me to pay $20 and i filled out a one page form (basically just name and address which i could have lied because they asked for no ID or proof of address) and they put her in a box and off i went in all it took 10 minutes.
and thats just not the right way for a shelter to handle adoptions.

Gledwood said...

yeah I know, those animals have been through enough

Baino said...

Seems very drastic. Ringworm is common and treatable but very contagious! I'm glad they saw sense and put a halt to it. Mind you euthanasing dogs that have already been assigned to owners is downright stupid. Let the owners deal with the ringworm! Makes you wonder sometimes. Then there's a sad human footnote here. All those surrendered dogs! Irresponsible pet ownership.

Gledwood said...

hear here!

Cathy said...

This treatment is status quo at least in NJ. Nothing new. You can only scream so long before you realize no one cares.

Gledwood said...

i know ideals + behaviour dont always match but this caseis shocking; killing someone's dog before they could take it home!? Who do they think they are??

Akelamalu said...

That's terrible!!!

Bimbimbie said...

Makes me mad and sad and as Baino says if people did the right thing by their pets in the first place shelters would be a thing of the past :(

Gledwood said...

Akelamalu: :-<...


Bimbimbie: Exactly! Someone wrote a comment on my friend's blog saying there should be no backroom breeders and nobody should buy animals from pet shops. But I got my roborovskis from a pet shop (they were hard enough to find in London and I've never seen roborovski hamsters up for rehoming) and it is only natural that animals should have babies. I know some people do take the **** but my feelings about neutering are, well, mixed to say the least...

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

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Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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