THERE WERE 2 UNEXPECTED EFFECTS of becoming opiate dependent (I noticed).
1. I barely ever catch cold and
2. I hardly feel the seasons of the year any more
Autumn is the only season I still feel. I feel it now, and I feel weird. In an indistinct kind of way.
I feel vaguely excited, yet vaguely depressed. At the same time.
Also I'm craving heroin in a distant way. I haven't taken any since Sunday when I didn't feel it anyhow. I only crave heroin by association. And I associate feeling autumnal with doing gear. I'm reminding myself that it's only been about 12 years, or a couple more, depending how you count, since I went ON gear. So I've done many autumns without it. I also went down the SOAS bookshop for Japanese dictionaries a year or two ago, so I could associate that with autumn too. I'm very much into associations. I need a Chinese dictionary as well. Mrs Li has finished teaching me to tell time. I'm on Unit 5 now. I still can't do the accent at all, but I'm doing OK at writing.
I nearly was sick yesterday having that blood test, it was awful. I felt so nauseated. She kept asking me if I was alright. How a junkie could be so afraid of needles. I couldn't tell you which one she used; I didn't dare look.
I spent £5 on one pen and 100 sheets of holepunched blank paper to write my book on. Yes I'm doing it the old fashioned way as my computer is down and I write better in Real Ink. It makes me focus on High Quality.
Now I've got to go before this internet cafe terminates me.
Illustrated: a Charles Dickens manuscript
PS my blood samples were tiny drizzles compared to yesterday's illustration. My vein was so collapsed she thought it wouldn't hold out...
Have you guessed what it is yet? - We found this in Uncle's flat. [image: pineapple corer] It looked as though it 'might be important'. It might just happen that in three years' time we'll re...
5 hours ago