DARKNESS IS FALLING across London. The wet road sparkles neon. Heavy clouds, dark grey against a blue grey sky, close gradually down and around.

Hey the other day we had a shocking pink sunset. Pink against orange and turquoise Chinese dragons in the sky. That was amazing!

True, I was scared of a blood test despite my former proclivities for poking needles between digits. My feet are hammered. I once missed when shooting heroin and crack between my fingers and couldn't cross them for weeks... Isn't drug addiction fun!

I got money today and didn't even think of spending it on drugs. I drugged myself nearly to death now my occupation has to be life. I would rather focus on something obscure yet useful like Chinese calligraphic character-writing manuals than heroin. Those dictionaries and manuals only come from one bookshop in Londn that I know of: the one near the University of London's School of Oriental and African Studies (oh if only I'd applied there! And not to the university that I did... ho hum.) There's also a secondhand bookshop near the shopping precinct by SOAS that sells ancient Chinese and Japanese "grammars" as probably used by lost missionaries and soldiers of a bygone era. I haven't been down to this bookshop lately. I'm steeling myself to stock up on complicated dictionaries. I feel totally lost in the Chinese language by the way and not at all confident. I can barely pronounce it at all, unless I'm literally repeating after the CD. I can write a lot of it, but probably have the handwriting of an 8 year-old girl. What it has in precision it lacks in spirit. Chinese calligraphy is all about spirit. I'll illustrate this post with the heart character. That's the most spirited of them all.

I can't track my real feelings any more! I want to, but I'm never sure what's my real mood and what might be a Mood Swing. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it.

Time's short; must run. Thanks for the answers yesterday.