HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

LIVE FROM LONDON

Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...

DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Don't Buy the Sunday Papers

OK HERE’S MY CRITIQUE of the Sunday papers. (But cheapskate that I am I only BOUGHT News of the World)…

SUNDAY SPORT … 1001 NIPPLES INSIDE

SUNDAY MIRROR … SHAMELSSS JO: I’m NOT sorry & I’d do it AGAIN. (This is to do with “Celebrity” Big Brother racism row: Jade Goody (prize Essex thicko), Jo O’Meara (abovementioned) former S-Club Seven (teenybopperbandmember) and (soccer) footballer Teddy Sheringham’s vulgar-mouthed model partner got into race-spat with actually proper famous 1000,000,000 people following Indian Bollywood actress Shipla Shetty.

It wasn’t racism at all in my opinion. Merely girlie jealousy. But you try telling the British tabloids that. (Michael Jackson’s brother Jermaine was also in the house. If these three Brit girls were so “racist” why did they never have a go at HIM??)

THE PEOPLE … JO’S HOOKED ON SEX & GAMBLING BIG BROTHER EXCLUSIVE. PLUS DIRK RACE STORM. (Same Jo. Who the hell this Dirk is I haven’t a clue I’m not wasting my money on that paper.) Then…

(Massive headline.) DEC BROKE MY HEART. (Declan Dontknowhissurname was in kids’ TV show Byker Grove then went on to present ITV chart show and is now joint KING with (male) partner ANT of SATURDAY NIGHT TV. But he is hetero.

NEWS OF THE WORLD … World’s oldest mum at 67 (huge red figures) — photographer wisely used “extra wrinkle” lighting.

Ooo. There’s more “news” inside…

Is KYLIE (Minogue — Aussie songstress’)’S LOVER 2-TIMING HER?

“Olivier (her boyf) in secret hotel trysts with beauties”.

Then we launch into main “text” …. COURAGEOUS (because she’s “battling breast cancer” — they love their alliteration) blahblah four-year romance with duh duh.

Friends say (what “friends" ever talk to News of the World??) the couple are locked in bitter rows over their relationship.

And well that’s the story. Move ON to page…

OK in the corner of that one Mad dog mauls 2” that is a current obsession — pitbulls. Yes. And here’s another.

322 Sex fiends on the loose.

Because our Home Office doesn’t know its bum from its elbow.

Where’s KATE MOSS… Surely KATE MOSS is somewhere. O! I’ve found her!

KATE FACES AXE …!! Oh DEAR!!!

Rimmel (cheap Maybellinw type company) ‘looking for younger model’.

Big Pete Doherty snap.

Brooding Kate pic caption: LIP STICK. Kate’s getting ‘too old’.

Rimmel … secretly holding castings for young girls to find a replacement for Kate, who turned 33 this month.

A source said (they nicked this expression from the National Enquirer): “Age catches up with everyone — even Kate.” O you don’t SAY??

Considering not TOO long ago she was “Cocaine Kate” to all the press. She somehow redeemed herself & they’re frustratedly implying (v. B-tween the lines) that she’s USING AGAIN. Well she’s “marrying Pete Doherty” for 1. But NOTHING IS PROVEN wind back a decade ago it was the “Kate’s on heroin” rumour. I’m not sure I believed that one; you can’t travel the world on heroin without A: a connexion near every airport or B: trafficking.

OK. Blar blar blar. O yes here’s where it gets stupid. “But she was kept on and secured more deals with other companies to take her earnings last year to £30 million.

DON’T BELIEVE THAT.

Though Mother Hubbard who I’m probably NOT having dinner with 2day actually BELIEVED concrete-breasted Katie Price/”Jordan”’s “I earnt £1 BILLION tabloid claim.

Well there y’are.

Saved yourself EIGHTY-FIVE PENCE THERE DIDN’T YOU?

So don’t buy the News of the World.

17 comments:

RUTH said...

Thanks Gledwood; I couldn't get out to buy a paper today...now I've caught up with all the gossip thanks to you
Rx

gledwood said...

Hey I'm glad I did someone a service. And your "muffins" (what the hell am I MEANT to call'em?)- they genuinely did give me a laugh. Even on this miserable day.

gledwood said...

What's wrong with me? I keep snoozing then having bad dreams about getting in trouble im my comments section...

Deb said...

yes, thanks...my mum in law passes those types of papers to me and i like the pictures. the racism card is overplayed...everything seems to fall under that category now

RUTH said...

Can't find any meaning for "blog comment box" dreams! Beat I can do is "computer" which means New Areas Opening....that could mean anything I guess!!!

gledwood said...

Yeah can you imagine a 2007 Dream Book: Comments Box. What does that mean? One's personal interface with the outside world, I'd guess.

& how come my name came out black there? Ah! It's bc I'd 4gotten 2fill in my url.

chipper said...

Hi, Gledwood -- I'm okay. Sorry to have worried you! I posted an explanation of the delay on my blog.

I'll do the six weird things tomorrow, tentatively. That sounds fun.

Yes indeed, the British press has a fixation with Kate Moss. And Victoria Beckham. I can at least begin to understand the latter. The former puzzles me.

Our press here in the States is about as absurd as yours is. But you did manage to get a reply from a UK press goddes, didn't you? So far I've stayed under the screen, so to speak.

IVY said...

Pete Doherty is my hero

Gledwood said...

Pete Doherty is always getting arrested for drugs possession. He has his v distinctive face & makes self even more distinctive with hats. And wonders why he gets trouble.

I wonder whether he is posh? That would explain a lot of things.

Alyx said...

looked for you on mybloglog...guess you didn't find me through there.

Just wanted to say thanks for stopping by though!

GREAT BLOG btw.

chipper said...

Question for you. Did you create your blog with New Bloger (Google) or Old Blogger?

gledwood said...

Far as I know I created it via New Blogger. But it is not "Beta".

Does that make any sense?

It's a lefthandside click.

If anyone knows "Beta" and what it supposedly was and what the difference between old and new google or blogger are, could you please be so kind as to tell me. Because it's one of those things that irritates me by google attemptedly convincing me my life shall be complete by knowing...

Instituto Ser Integral said...

Hi, you visited our blog and wrote the message. Thanks.
We are brasilians and I don´t know if you undesrtood our blog. If you want know more write us. I watched news about the Big Brother in your country. There are many and different opinions about, but we don´t know who is right or not. Tell us about this.
Bye.
Rosangela Brazil

gledwood said...

Hi!! I was cruising by with that "next blog" button then I found yours I can't speak any Portuguese at all I'm afraid but I noticed that beautiful picture of the waterfall. Is that just artwork or is it something near you? It looks wonderful.

I was half joking leaving the message bc I wasn't sure you'd understand it, glad you did...

I didn't realize Big Brother UK had got to Brazil!!!! That's crazy. You want to know my opinion? There were 3 English girls in that house with one Indian. Now you have to bear in mind we have a LOT of Indians in this country so they are hardly foreign to us. Britain's national dish is "chicken tikka masala" - ie an Indian-inspired dish. We have a close relationship as nations go with India (I think). Anyhow the 3 English girls I believe were jealous of Shilpa bc she is prettier than them, also she is far more famous in her own country: she is a movie star of Julia Roberts/Angelina Joelie stature. I don't believe it was genuine racism at all, rather viciousness, bullying etc dressed up in racist clothes (which is a VERY different thing). As I pointed out, there was a black man in the house. If these people were so racist, why did they not have a go at him.

gledwood said...

Hi Alyx as I said to the Brazilian people, I was out blog-cruising last night, that's how I found yours. I particularly loved your doggie blog, I said hi there. Thanks for saying hi on mine.

opop said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

fgeegf said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood