HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Feathery Friday*: Australian King Red Parrots


RAINBOW LORRIKEETS aside, these are my favourites from Bimbimie's...

The beautiful Australian King Red parrot. Less common than the squarking galahs and cockatoos that come in giant cackling flocks and a little bolder than lorrikeets, these red and green beauties are perhaps the most adorable parrots of all...

Here's film from someone's front porch Down Under...

Boys are apparently redder than the greener girls, which is so typical in the birdie-world where they love to stand out...





And here's an entertaining pet tame one...



***I wonder if they can talk..?***



*for "Furry Fridays ((usually) on Saturdays)

Here's a brilliant "birds in back gardens" "includes-parrots" link...

16 comments:

Vincent said...

Something on your blog asks for a login. It's coming from a Russian site. Is it maybe that music player?

Syd said...

Interesting birds, parrots. I've never been much of a bird person though. I prefer them to be in the wild. I do like the furry critters though.

Baino said...

We're very lucky to have such gorgeous things. Actually Gleds, despite their size, (about the size of a crow) they are bullied badly by lorikeets which descend en masse cheeky buggers. There's always a pair and I love that electric green flash on their wings. Pretty things indeed . . .I have two who love the carob beans in a tree just outside where I use my pc. Have a great weekend. The sun is shining here!

Smack Happy said...

Yeah, I had that same log-in thing goin on. Ijust X-ed out of it no prob tho.

Bimbimbie said...

Hi Gleds your hammies are stars*!*

You know how I like my birds but I prefer to see them doing their tricks in the wild rather than someones centrally heated living room*!*

I got the log in box too.

Hope you remembered to put in for an extra Saturday and no Monday this week ;)

Janice Seagraves said...

Hi Gled,

Pretty parrots, did you know that there is a flock of parrots that live in the L.A. area? I think their birds that had escaped from either their owners or the pet store. or a while a budgie hung out with them. Their was a special on PBS about them.

Janice~

Puss-in-Boots said...

My daughter has King parrots come to visit. They have a wild bird feeder and get all sorts of birds. I must go around there one afternoon and get some photos.

Merle said...

Hi Gleds ~ ~ The bright parrots are lovely aren't they? So your hammies are on YouTube. Good for them and you. Thank you for your comments.
Mother Teresa or Theresa ?? was a great humanitarian wasn't she?
I hope all is well with you, my friend. Regards, Merle.

Gledwood said...

VINCENT: YES it was an annoying thing from that musical player that's now gone because I deleted the player's HTML. Couldn't get it to play ANYTHING bar Sugababes which got RATHER ANNOYING..!

SYD: I love 'em. I've seen pet parrots in the wild. Amazonian tribespeople keep them on perches without cages. Theoretically they could fly off to join their cousins in the trees; they just don't want to

BAINO: oh so they're NOT less timid like I said. so lorrikeets bully them: rainbow swines!
I do like lorikeets' voices: very pretty as parrot voices go... but hey that's why they're called lorikeets not parrots, I spose, innit??!?

SMACKHAPPY: I hope no-one did put in a password. I tried giving it false information and it STILL hung about. I wonder what they did with any passwords that WERE tapped into it?... couldn't help noticing as Vince said, it came from somewhere in the former SOVIET UNION!!!

Gledwood said...

BIMBIMBIE: o yeah ~ Monday isn't going too well as we speak...

JANICE: we (reportedly) have some enormous flocks in the Greater London area and they are all thought to be from escaped ring-neck parrakeets!!

PUSS-IN-BOOTS: definitely you must ;->...

MERLE: I think it's without a TH actually. I purposefully left off "mother" because I feel it's dodgy priests and nuns calling themselves "mother" and "father"... unChristian to me...

Gledwood said...

http://thepassivedad.com/ = passive money making schemes?

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I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood