I HAD A HORRIBLE MEETING with my drugs worker this morning. The meeting itself was OK. I kept saying nothing was that terrible. Maybe I'm not "depressed" at all; maybe this is just how I feel and I'll never feel any better. I walked out feeling very miserable. Had a horrible paranoid bus ride. Felt nauseated and sick. Nearly had a panic attack outside Morrisons. Went and got my methadone. Then went home and to bed where I had nightmares.
Tomorrow I've decided to get up early and put on talk radio like my Mum does when she does the cleaning.
Only cleaning I've done today was handwashing a bowlful of clothes.
I put in a repeat of my repeat prescription today. The old one was sent by email and it never get through. For some reason they won't take repeat prescription requests over the phone. I thought this had something to do with my signing my name. No I just had to tick a box next to the word "risperidone".
As soon as I get these pills I'm going back on them. I'm very depressed about this. Having to take pills because I'm mad.
Well I'm going out down the local shop now for some Cup-A-Soup (only the type with croutons). My favourite flavour is asparagus, because I'm posh. But only Morrisons do that. And they sell 2 packets for the same price as my local shop does one. Stingy bastards.
Well I have to go to find this soup and try and think on positive things.
O there's a really good documentary on called The Lock Up. About the detention officers in Hull Police Station. I love stuff to do with police and prisons.
The police doctor is on screen. He looks characteristically gone-out. Well I've got to go.
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