I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.
I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.
My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.
This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.
If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.
PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe) mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...
PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!
Attack of the Furry Entertainers!
Monday, August 08, 2011
More looting and rioting
MY LOCAL SHOPS, including the 24-hour convenience stores are all SHUT this evening thanks to widespread rumours of rioting in this area tonight. I've already heard vulgar voices outside my window and am armed and dangerous. Anyone who dares come in will be getting it bigtime.]
I didn't mean to imply rioting was good in my previous post: I was merely describing the carnival atmosphere down Wood Green High Road yesterday morning. Soon as I got off the bus there were crowds of people gawping at the smashed windows of HMV -- CDs and DVDs everywhere as if a hurricane had hit the shop. T Mobile was completely vandalized. McDonalds strangely missed out -- possibly because nobody wanted to loot a rancid Big Mac. Neither of the big supermarkets got it either. Mostly sportswear stores: JD and Footlocker, electrical shops and places selling DVDs etc. Police were in attendance but not exactly guarding the looted premises and this WAS about looting and not rioting the true riot was in Tottenham. No evidence of petrol bombs to be seen. I could easily have crawled into HMV and just helped myself to Barbra Streisand memorabilia. I was still a bit manic yesterday (that's why I was in such a good mood on top of the carnival atmosphere of the place). I was in a very good mood indeed when my stingy crackhead friend came back and repaid my 25 quid. Reason he hadn't repaid was that he's basically gone and got himself a crack habit. That's what's happened. Even his immaculate wife was piping away and they wouldn't give me a pipe because they've seen me on crack and it's not pretty. I indulged in heroin instead. To be frank I was suspecting my chemist had watered my dose because I felt ill ALL THE TIME. The heroin did at least put me to sleep ALL NIGHT for the first time in days on end. I also fell asleep in my chair, like a normal person. If you can't fall asleep in front of the telly there's pretty much no point going to bed in my book. Yes I do feel weak and idiotic for taking heroin. I wish they hadn't come round now the longer they stayed the grottier I felt I was so incredibly tired and so thoroughly enjoyed sleeping in this morning it was a real luxury. Also whenever I tried to get up I was too chilly for words. I have some mystery illness, I know I have. What the bloody hell it is I haven't the faintest idea but the symptoms are these: farting, sweating, chills (having to wear a Russian hat in August), physical fatigue and insomnia (3 hours'sleep a night) plus mental feelings similar to being high on coke. What illness is that? I know the mental side is called hypomania but what about the physical symptoms? Also I'm dreaming of Barbra Streisand?... She's singing me the most beautiful lullabyes. My family once told me Leona Lewis had a better voice than Streisand because it sounds normal and not nasal but NOBODY beats Streisand in the singing stakes. Have you ever heard anyone who sounds even remotely like Barbra Streisand? I haven't. Whitney Houston is arguably superior because her voice is stronger and more even. But Whitney has completely destroyed her voice by all accounts -- freebasing cocaine. Silly bitch! BTW I'm talking voice-as-instruent here not choice of songs. If musical repertoire were the criteria for greatest pop star Madonna would beat everybody hands down!
Now I must check my tex mex pizza. I stocked up on cloudy lemonade at 54p for 2 litres and Old Jamaica ginger beer at 1.04 for 2 litres on special offer. Even Morrisons were closing early in terror. So far the unrest has spread to Hackney where there are no decent shops my friend Tommy Tired used to live on Graham Road so what anyone can loot from Hackney apart from dealers'supplies of gear, crack and evil cannabis I've not the faintest idea!
My Dad is telling me now not to move anywhere near the main shops but I think community nuthouses are on twee suburban roads like the one in Posh Park. I so much hope I get the chance to move out there I have just had enough of living as I do. Did you know I once kept my washing up in the shower for 6 months because I couldn't face doing it? The Posh Park nuterhouse has shared kitchen and living room so I can watch telly with schizophrenics instead of watching telly on my own and bouncing my balls forlornly on the ceiling to piss off the 2faced dole scrounger downstairs (claiming benefits yet driving an enormous car and barely ever in residence so my chances of actually disturbing him bouncing a ball at 4 in th emorning are about one percent!)
Shit I forgot 3 cheese coleslaw to go with my tex mex pizza. Ho-hum. I did get Onken chocolate flakes in vanilla yogurt with little chocolate strawberry hearts to dunk in it. I don't know what the health benefits of live yogurt are meant to be but somedays yogurt is literally the only thing I can stomach...!
O well I have to ride out the night on ginger beer and lemonade. I've given up alcohol! Haven't had a drink since Friday (I think: I'm not doing that one day at a time yet I'm counting the days thing). ALL the shops are now shut. If we do get a riot outside I'll post full details I promise you!
RIOTS SPREAD ACROSS LONDON: LATEST Starting at 4:20pm, vulgarians kicked off the unrest in Hackney. Further flashpoints went off in Lewisham and Peckham (really scummy inner London suburbs way too vulgar for me to stray near!) Hackney's OK though. Nicer than Tottenham. Wood Green is the nicest place to have riots so far. I used to know someone who lived in Wood Green...
PLACES THAT BELONG TO YOU (VOCAL VERSION)
Love theme from The Prince of Tides - a brilliant film about a bipolar poet hospitalized after a serious suicide attempt. Nick Nolte plays the irritable city-hating brother, drawn to New York purely for his sister (the poet's) sake. Streisand is the psychiatrist. What starts as clinical unravelling of his sister's past turns into a love story...
PS MY CHINESE IS COMING ALONG FANTASTICALLY I GOT FULL MARKS IN THE END-OF-UNIT TEST. FAIR DOS IT WAS UNIT 1 BUT YOU GOTTA START SOMEWHERE!!
0016hrs RIOT UPDATE: EALING BROADWAY (W LONDON) HAS JUST ERUPTED; VIOLENCE IN NOTTING HILL (W CENTRAL); CROYDON (SOUTH) BURNING AND A NONFATAL SHOOTING. E HAM (EAST) ON FIRE. FIRES AND GLASS ALL OVER HACKNEY'S STREETS (NORTH-EAST). AND THE VIOLENCE HAS SPREAD OUT OF LONDON TO BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND'S FAMOUSLY VULGAR SECOND CITY... (ALL THE INNER CITY OPPRESSIVE ATMOSPHERE OF THE WORST OF LONDON BUT NO HARRODS, NO BUCKINGHAM PALACE, NO TUBE. ukh!)
LONDON IS THE ONLY CITY I'D LIVE IN APART FROM NEW YORK, TOKYO, PARIS, BERLIN ETC...
The "rioters" are just piss-taking thieves they don't even have a political point. Yes it started with a genuine grievance about a 16 year old lad shot by police but it erupted into general lawbreaking and theft. That's all it's about now: theft and destruction of property.
This is what happens when kids don't get slapped on their backsides any more - no respect for anyone or property :( tv coverage say its spread to Birmingham and Leeds now
You know,i think there might be something amiss with me but the rioters have my sympathy...ever since the new condemns came to power they have hit the poorest,and people with kids,they took my kids ema away,they took my kids playgroups away all under the banner of "cuts" so if the youth of england are fed up of double speak and lies,media says you need new trainers,but fucked if you gonna get them..unless daddys rich!! Annie x
Hi DEBS it's great to hear from you. No the rabbit was just an entertaining animation I really liked to I stuck it up there. I'd really like to get a chinchilla... or if I did get a rabbit ~ one of those enormous ones you can put in a harness and walk like a doggie...
ANNIE: they did bring up several times the level of government cuts hitting Tottenham in particular. Even Time magazine said that. Not sure it's the real reason; I suspect a lot of it's simply people taking advantage of a weakly policed country (weakly policed unless you're vulnerable eg a junkie into very petty crime ~ then you get all the toys used against you doncha!)... anyway a weakly policed country to thieve to their greedy hearts' contents. And all the people doing it seem to be the ilk of kids who don't want a proper job, just want to hang about serving up cannabis or B, fathering kids at 17 to prove they're a "man" and just frittering their lives away. Like junkies without the highs. Ie complete saddos in my book. I might be a useless layabout but at least I got that way by a conspiracy of circumstances these types WANT to do nothing constructive with their lives and in that sense they don't have my sympathy at all!
JANICE: there's been no shops smashed up closer than a mile away but my very local ones are fine. The rioting is North, South, East, West and Central ~ literally all over town and totally unpredictable. It's more looting than true rioting ~ motivated by materialism more than hatred or true unrest. I think most of the people doing it are just losers taking an opportunity who have little better to do anyhow. They should build giant 200-seater stocks and bring in tonnes of rotten eggs from China and let the populace take out their frenzied rage on these hooligans THAT would serve them right!!!
SB: o yeah I'm staying in strictly inside. My local shops looked like a seige had hit. One person being let in at a time and that was that. Nobody could tell when a flashmob might suddenly appear. Most of the takeaways and a lot of small shops just closed up last night and closed early, around 5pm or so. These were shops that shut around midnight normally. It's really weird and I'm sure it's not over yet.
Hi Gleds, read your comment on my blog then came here to reply and read that you're back on the heroin. So sorry to hear that :-/
Anyway, to answer your question: We still have the coffee shops. Ridiculous situation really because nobody is allowed to own more than 5 cannabis plants for personal use. The "coffee" shops are legal though and so is their selling. Growing large or for commercial purposes is illegal however so where do the shops get it from? Coffee shops, like cafe's and resto's have a smoking room. This is the usual answer to the Dutch smoking regulations. So, you're not allowed to smoke in the area where it's sold but in the separate room where staff isn't s'posed to go (yeah, right!)
I hope you're keeping well and safe from the riots. I saw awful footage of it on the news and on facebook :-(
Are pharmacies looted too? How does this situation reflect on getting ones methadone doses? Or scoring? Just curious.
Now that the looting in London is going on, i can't help but think that the Gov. is going to tighten security and surveillance of the public even more. The UK already is pretty crazy with police and surveillance, but i'm sure they'll use the current riots to make even harsher laws.
Just so you know, i have been off for vacation in July, so i missed out on a lot of blog posts and i'm not up to the newest stuff. Have to catch up. Won't happen again now anyway, as i got me a new smartphone. Now i'm able to be online anywhere i am and blog from anywhere i am.
Also, i'm blogging with my name Natascha from now on, instead of my nickname Mina.
VINCENT: I haven't actually seen any rioting with my own eyes because it hasn't come that close to me.... I knew the cannabis situation in Amsterdam was strange. I think organized toking holidays are going out of fashion: it's so easy to get here. If I went to Amsterdam I'd want to see the Rijksmuseum, the bulb fields outside the city, the canals etc etc not some stupid cannabis bar selling a drug that makes you psychotic!
NATASCHA: yes I think it will be used as an excuse for yet more draconian laws. What they're SUPPOSED to do is introduce martial law which is only temporary! But they won't. They'll introduce permanent legislation which will be mis-applied giving Big Brother State yet more power.
I haven't heard of anybody attacking a chemist (yet) possibly because to use stereotypes, by the look of the rioters they look like grass smokers and not into benzos or opiates. My pharmacist was going to close early yesterday but I get my dose as soon as possible after 9am every day so it's not an issue for me. If the pharmacy got done over I'd probably have to pick it up from the drug service in person. That's what happened when my pharmacy was closed due to snow some years ago. I'd just drunk 90mg when I arrived at the emergency clinic to be told I'd have to drink my juice there and then so I ended up with 180mg swilling round my system. This is the only time I've felt methadone blockade the effects of heroin because yes I STILL used on top. No dose of methadone has ever stopped me wanting to use. Ever. I only don't use now because I don't want to, not because of methadone!
But back to your point I sincerely hope nothing does happen to my chemist or any other chemist. That would be a major headfucker!
I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!
METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH
Heroin Shortage: News
If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.
Christiane F
"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools.
Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross...
Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way.CHRISTIANE F:
TRAILER
You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.
To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...
DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today? If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!
Drugs Videos
Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.
If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.
Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"
In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"
Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).
Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"
Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.
Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).
Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...
And lastly:
German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!
Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?
Here's the 4-methylmethcathinone molecule. This is the "cocaine plus ecstasy"-style "legal high" I took that time and didn't even know what it was... After a brief but intense craze for meow, it was eventually banned in the UK in April 2010
If you wanna see what manic looks like, watch this. If this is the mood she stayed in all day she'd be moderately manic (severely manic is literally all over the place verging into complete incoherence)... I have been known to yell the same stuff over and over, which is why I like this:
Ferry Corsten remix. William Orbit performance. Samuel Barber's Adagio
DJ Seduction: Starlight August 1992
I love this style of music and WHY do kidz today call it OLD SCHOOL? MAKE ME FEEL ANCIENT WHY DONCHA! I really like that ting-ting-tong tune that comes into it about 3 mins in "release the spirit" yeah....! Respect goin' out LizzyD Yeah ;-)
Angelina Joelie: Crazy Chic
Girl Interrupted: best scenes
Mozart's Requiem Tranced Up
I like danced-up tunes now that I'm "OLD". Like this one... The actual name of the tune is "lacrimosa" which means sad. Which is weird it actually sounds uplifting. but there ya go:~~~~~~~~
Click herefor the Drought Post, news is in the comments.
Because there's more than 200 comments, look closely at the bottom of the form for for "Newer/Newest" - THAT is where you click to find most recent comments.
PETITION THE GOVT FOR PROPER PRESCRIBING TO ADDICTS: CLICK HERE
I should have stayed in bed
-
"I'll just pop down to Mumbles before it rains," I said.
Unfortunately it turned out that everyone in the surrounding area thought
the same thing. I had ...
HODGEPODGE DECEMBER 19
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1. What's one thing you want to get done before the calendar flips to a new
year?
*Improve my health (but how ?) and finally start my new life as a widow...
A FAVOURITE FOOD FOR A FAVOURITE SAINT
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Our *estate di San Martino* (Saint Martin's summer) has been well and truly
over since Sunday and I sit here writing this on a cold, rainy afternoon. A
pro...
Blogging Break
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I'm taking a break from blogging, for two major reasons :a. I find it
hard to concentrate on chosen topics, while there's war and tragedy going
on in m...
Tragic In So Many Ways
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This morning on my Facebook feed a news story popped up about a robbery and
outcome in Camdenton MO. This is the area where we own a lake home so I try
to ...
Dying Independently.....
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I just finished working with a woman for the past 6 weeks, who was dying
from a vicious form of cancer.
I live in a small town, so sometimes I get a cal...
Just a Thought for the HBO Execs
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I want to rename Game of Thrones, “Two Crazy-Assed Bitches.” Mail me my
check, motherfuckers! Actually three crazy-assed bitches if you count
Sansa. The me...
Souls of the Goldhawk Road
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It was one of those tawdry summer evenings and all I could think about was
the heat. It was everywhere, stuffy and humid and crucifying even at that
late...
Yeah
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No, I am not returning, just updating out of boredom. Plus writing on my
phone sucks, so it won't be a long post.
Yep my book sucks, makes close to no mon...
The (complete) rainbowrain
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Today is the last time I'll post blog-photos from my work as tomorrow, the
last day of this blog is a Saturday. So you can enjoy this view one more
time ...
Twelve Months
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I can't believe it's almost 12 months since I posted anything on my blog!
I confess I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook - I know you think
I'm a t...
Graphic Wisdom to Begin 2016
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*By three methods we may learn wisdom: *
*First, by reflection, which is noblest; *
*Second, by imitation, which is easiest; *
*and third by experience, wh...
Obat Herbal Stroke Berat dan Ringan
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*Obat Herbal Stroke* - Penyakit ini terjadi karena peredaran darah didalam
organ otak mengalami penyumbatan atau gangguan. Penyakit Stroke ini adalah
adany...
Iboga- A Magic Bullet?
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Thoughts and random musings
I get the feeling, that this blog and therefore, my own thoughts and
behaviours are, to the average reader, quite controversi...
The People You Meet
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Not saying this is a come back of any type, but after farewelling my
darling friend Jeffrey today, I felt the overwhelming need to blog. Met a
weird Japan...
Despair and Dissolution
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I haven't written partly because I was confused by the new setup. Took me
ages just to get to my blog. Frustration.
Everyone can say "I told you so". Hate...
A long time coming....
-
I cannot believe I have neglected this blog for so long.
Just to let you know I will be uploading a post in the next couple of days.
Things are good.
My hea...
Gone but never forgotten
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Hello everyone....
Saturday the 24th May would of been Merle's 80th birthday...
Unfortunately she is gone, but never forgotten...
I just thought I would...
Everything in it's place
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Yum.That people are reading this in Israel and Indonesia, as well as so
many other places around the world that I never would've expected is pretty
fuckin...
How to Negotiate With Used Cars Dealers
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Car traders have excellent discussing abilities. They know how to deal with
their clients with their methods and methods to make sure that they shop.
Amazi...
starry starry night…
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Ho Ho Ho! Hope everyone had a merry fucking Christmas and will enjoy a
drunken orgy of pleasure on New Years Eve. I had a nice Christmas Day with
Melinda(a...
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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.....I think the time has come to acknowledge that I'm not actually
blogging any more.....
PLUS
I'm off on Sunday for a Big Adventure Down Under, with L...
Drug Law Reform - NZ Show Australia How it's Done
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It seems that our New Zealand cousins are finally taking some much needed
action on drug law reform. Australia should take note of this and consider
caref...
Daze of Summer
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Her mentor is one of the most gentle people on the planet. He catches flies
in his hands and sets them free outside his studio, and he flicks
mosquitoes a...
Musings
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A week has passed since my last post and it's been a week of contrasts.
Right smack bang in the middle of week, Wednesday, was Australia Day, a
public holi...
Who buys CRACK without Brown ?
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See these F.cking dealers up here they cant get the brown sold cause its
shite so lots of people are just buying Whisky and im thinking to myself No
For Me...
-
Would you trust someone who was never sure if they loved you?
I want to be held (or posses a large amount of drugs)
I want to be skinny and pretty
I want...
The Neighbour's Gun
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I remember those lazy summer nights. In my light, light dress, I would open
the window and gaze at the moon in the night. I would look and almost feel
th...
THIS is classic slice-of-life video; filmed from a sushibar conveyor belt in Japan. You don't need sound for this one (unless you speak Japanese...)
Never Mind The Balearics...
LOST WEEKENDS... Lost weeks... Lost lives...
THE SPANISH ISLE of Ibiza is the "spiritual home" of much British dance music...
Eva Cassidy: Autumn Leaves
I wonder if Autumn is as miserable your end as it is here..? This song wonderfully reinterpreted by Eva Cassidy (I think) brought tears to my eyes when I first heard it. See what you think ...
Christiane F
Christiane F
("Wir Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo")
Berlin has long been a centre of "alternative" living, attracting the artistic and dejected. And of course heroin rushes into such a void:
You can see the film in its entirety by clicking HERE.
These are my 3 roborovski hamsters!
(And now there is one...) Itchy, Bashful and Spherical... Itchy, the scruffy, dopey (and tamest one) died a few weeks ago. I was very ****** off (no swearing on this blog (or I'd be effing and blinding all the time...)). Spherical and Bashful were the remaining "Trotters" aka Hamsta MCs, Carrot Nose and Trotter Donkey ... until Trotterdonkey died and now poor Spherical Carrot Nose remains alone ...
What name should I give to my fictional slavering English mastiff hellhound..??
Name the Uncooth Doggie...
NOW I'M PUTTING UP A NEW POLL...My forthcoming fiction shall feature a giant, ill-tempered slavering hellhound of an English Mastiff who spends her time savaging pram wheels, dolls, etc; pulling soft toys apart... growling at houseguests, baying at the light fittings etc etc. She has a total personality change, however, when she gets "raped" down the park by a local rottweiler... leading to a howling, baying, snaggle-toothed litter of puppies!Anyway, which of these three names do you think fits best?(In alphabetical order)GwendolinaPansyTinkerbelle???Vote now ...!!
London Time
GMT (aka "Universal Standard Time"):
ahead of the Americas; behind everywhere else...
Trisch & Jen on the phone
Real life spooky phone call. Trisch Li is speaking to her friend Jen, who has a stalker sneaking round the side of her house. I Love the film exposure. I love the funky background. And I love Trisch. She had bipolar. She died. She left some amazing stuff behind ...You can see Trisch manic here.
Moby: Go
Anyone who was a Twin Peaks fan will know this tune: the in-sequence floaty tune played in-episode (not the theme tune) that made that tellyprog so dreamy.
This tune is something else:~~~~~~~
Future Sound of London: Papua New Guinea
THIS tune is transcendently beautiful.
Thank you to Lizzy who reminded me:~~~~~~~
The Orb: Little Fluffy Clouds (Danny Tengalia)
Archetypal triphead/herb-tokers' tune ...
Urban Shakedown: Some Justice
One of my all time favourite "hardcore" rave tunes. The "woman" singing "we live as one family" is actually a man speeded up. The primal line "Now eeeee-yeah-oh-eeeee-yeah we live as one family," sounded to me like the sun rising at psychedelic dawn. For a long time there was forever a part of me left from this 1991-1992 era, still out there, tripping in a certain corn-on-the-cob field at dawn...
Praga Khan: Injected with a Poison
Sums up what my attitude used to be and is once again to gear. That because, "There's a rainbow inside your mind ... Injected with a poison.... we don't need that any more."
Scott McKenzie: San Francisco
I really used to believe all this crap with all my heart. Peace and love and chemical dreams. If you've ever tripped out high upon higher and sublime upon sublime there is no way of bringing the beauty of the experience back with you... I once had a friend down who brought some cocaine. I did some lines and was soon stuck to the ceiling. I had tickets for a rave in south London. He was too wasted to go. So I had to negotiate an hour and a half nightbus ride all the way down. By Trafalgar Square I was eeing out on 2 pills as well and my eyes such massive discs I couldn't read the bus time tables and had to tell passers-by I'd "forgotten my reading glasses" (how embarrassing)... then I arrived around 3pm. DUR! Not pm (wasn't THAT late 3AM): though these pills didn't wear off till well after 11am which made them superstrong... anyhow... Security let me straight in I'd obviously taken all my drugs (indeed I had: felt like I was flying by this point)... first person I encountered was a middle-aged woman in a ball gown swaying back and forth in the foyer (Brixton Academy: a venue for 5000) I told her: "you are so cool". We subsequently made friends. Watching this video and seeing how stuck in the neverending moment of bliss some "flower kids" are I remember this lady having to tell me: "there's the party. Then the party's over. You have to accept that." But I never could. I wanted happiness to last for ever...
SCOTT MACKENZIE HAS GONE (copyright reasons)
HERE'S JOE BELTRAM 1990 ENERGY FLASH
Who is the superior writer? (From... in no particular order...)
Itchy's "Windy" Face
Not because she has the "farts" but because she "runs like the wind on a windy day" this is Itchy's look when she is nervous...
Bashful and Spherical look like this
(Itchy is a bit smaller)
Bashful's Lookie-Lykie
Hello you Tiny Tubby! Roborovskis are the tiniest of all hamsters, being a mere 5cm/2" fully grown... "Bashful" is pulling a bit of a grumpy face here; but hey!
Should my daily videos stay giant on the top or go mini on my sidebar? (You can only vote once.)
Doggie or Kittie?
You Are: 50% Dog, 50% Cat
You are a nice blend of cat and dog.
You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful.
And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.
38 year-old guy, 6 blogs (the main one is gledwood vol 2 so go there for new postings: blogs are linked via my sidebars), I also have 3 video blogs. One mainly music vids, the other random "novelty" clips from Youtube/etc. The third is my Fabulous Celebrity Blog for fans of trash culture. Unfortunately addicted to drugs - yes it was my own fault but what can I do about it now? Addicted means trapped & can't stop. That's how addicted I am. But that's not ALL I blog about. Apart from drugs I love drink. Apart from drink I'm into little furry animals like Pingpong, my Chinese hamster, and my 3 roborovski hamsters: Itchy, Bashful and Spherical... and ... er, food. Lately there has been a drought of the substance that enslaved me for so long. Will I clean up? Only time will tell...
Fun, comforting, and friendly.
You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality.
People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.
12 comments:
Just watching the rubbish in London on morning TV now, bloody horrible and looting is the worst crime. I'd shoot the lot of them.
The "rioters" are just piss-taking thieves they don't even have a political point. Yes it started with a genuine grievance about a 16 year old lad shot by police but it erupted into general lawbreaking and theft. That's all it's about now: theft and destruction of property.
It's hit the news in Australia? Wow!
This is what happens when kids don't get slapped on their backsides any more - no respect for anyone or property :( tv coverage say its spread to Birmingham and Leeds now
Stay close to home Gleds*!*
They should bring back the rattan like in Singapore that would fucking serve those scumbags right.
Hi Gleds! It's me, Deb. Been awhile...heard about this stuff on the news and wanted to check in and make sure you're ok!
Good to see that you're still blogging...I don't get much of a chance anymore.
See you have a rabbit sidebar...is he yours? Do you still have furry friends? (I have a rabbit now, he's SO cute).
Anyhow, I promise to check in more often...miss you! xo Deb
You know,i think there might be something amiss with me but the rioters have my sympathy...ever since the new condemns came to power they have hit the poorest,and people with kids,they took my kids ema away,they took my kids playgroups away all under the banner of "cuts" so if the youth of england are fed up of double speak and lies,media says you need new trainers,but fucked if you gonna get them..unless daddys rich!!
Annie x
Good heavens. Rioting in London. Please keep us informed. And I hope your staying inside.
Janice~
I hope you are safe, Gleds. I have been reading of this in The Daily Mail.
Love,
SB
Hi DEBS it's great to hear from you. No the rabbit was just an entertaining animation I really liked to I stuck it up there. I'd really like to get a chinchilla... or if I did get a rabbit ~ one of those enormous ones you can put in a harness and walk like a doggie...
ANNIE: they did bring up several times the level of government cuts hitting Tottenham in particular. Even Time magazine said that. Not sure it's the real reason; I suspect a lot of it's simply people taking advantage of a weakly policed country (weakly policed unless you're vulnerable eg a junkie into very petty crime ~ then you get all the toys used against you doncha!)... anyway a weakly policed country to thieve to their greedy hearts' contents. And all the people doing it seem to be the ilk of kids who don't want a proper job, just want to hang about serving up cannabis or B, fathering kids at 17 to prove they're a "man" and just frittering their lives away. Like junkies without the highs. Ie complete saddos in my book. I might be a useless layabout but at least I got that way by a conspiracy of circumstances these types WANT to do nothing constructive with their lives and in that sense they don't have my sympathy at all!
JANICE: there's been no shops smashed up closer than a mile away but my very local ones are fine. The rioting is North, South, East, West and Central ~ literally all over town and totally unpredictable. It's more looting than true rioting ~ motivated by materialism more than hatred or true unrest. I think most of the people doing it are just losers taking an opportunity who have little better to do anyhow. They should build giant 200-seater stocks and bring in tonnes of rotten eggs from China and let the populace take out their frenzied rage on these hooligans THAT would serve them right!!!
SB: o yeah I'm staying in strictly inside. My local shops looked like a seige had hit. One person being let in at a time and that was that. Nobody could tell when a flashmob might suddenly appear. Most of the takeaways and a lot of small shops just closed up last night and closed early, around 5pm or so. These were shops that shut around midnight normally. It's really weird and I'm sure it's not over yet.
Hi Gleds, read your comment on my blog then came here to reply and read that you're back on the heroin. So sorry to hear that :-/
Anyway, to answer your question: We still have the coffee shops. Ridiculous situation really because nobody is allowed to own more than 5 cannabis plants for personal use. The "coffee" shops are legal though and so is their selling. Growing large or for commercial purposes is illegal however so where do the shops get it from? Coffee shops, like cafe's and resto's have a smoking room. This is the usual answer to the Dutch smoking regulations. So, you're not allowed to smoke in the area where it's sold but in the separate room where staff isn't s'posed to go (yeah, right!)
I hope you're keeping well and safe from the riots. I saw awful footage of it on the news and on facebook :-(
This is crazy! Pleas stay safe!
Are pharmacies looted too? How does this situation reflect on getting ones methadone doses? Or scoring? Just curious.
Now that the looting in London is going on, i can't help but think that the Gov. is going to tighten security and surveillance of the public even more. The UK already is pretty crazy with police and surveillance, but i'm sure they'll use the current riots to make even harsher laws.
Just so you know, i have been off for vacation in July, so i missed out on a lot of blog posts and i'm not up to the newest stuff. Have to catch up. Won't happen again now anyway, as i got me a new smartphone. Now i'm able to be online anywhere i am and blog from anywhere i am.
Also, i'm blogging with my name Natascha from now on, instead of my nickname Mina.
Please be safe!
VINCENT: I haven't actually seen any rioting with my own eyes because it hasn't come that close to me.... I knew the cannabis situation in Amsterdam was strange. I think organized toking holidays are going out of fashion: it's so easy to get here. If I went to Amsterdam I'd want to see the Rijksmuseum, the bulb fields outside the city, the canals etc etc not some stupid cannabis bar selling a drug that makes you psychotic!
NATASCHA: yes I think it will be used as an excuse for yet more draconian laws. What they're SUPPOSED to do is introduce martial law which is only temporary! But they won't. They'll introduce permanent legislation which will be mis-applied giving Big Brother State yet more power.
I haven't heard of anybody attacking a chemist (yet) possibly because to use stereotypes, by the look of the rioters they look like grass smokers and not into benzos or opiates. My pharmacist was going to close early yesterday but I get my dose as soon as possible after 9am every day so it's not an issue for me. If the pharmacy got done over I'd probably have to pick it up from the drug service in person. That's what happened when my pharmacy was closed due to snow some years ago. I'd just drunk 90mg when I arrived at the emergency clinic to be told I'd have to drink my juice there and then so I ended up with 180mg swilling round my system. This is the only time I've felt methadone blockade the effects of heroin because yes I STILL used on top. No dose of methadone has ever stopped me wanting to use. Ever. I only don't use now because I don't want to, not because of methadone!
But back to your point I sincerely hope nothing does happen to my chemist or any other chemist. That would be a major headfucker!
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