HI I'M BACK!!! Have been wallowing in my usual pit of depression entertaining stupid ideas to get out. Watching The Apprentice today I couldn't help but fantasize about going on that show to shake it up! Of course I could not tell the producers I do not actually want to win. And I have no business training. Or real experience of any merit. But, piled in with those odious nonteamplaying characters obsessing in the most unsportsmanlike way about winning I could be the wildcard, the maverick. I most certainly could shake things up, no doubt about that! Another gameshow I'd love to go on is Countdown. It is a wordgame where contestants select nine (random) letters at least three and at most five of which must be vowels. Singularly annoying clockticking music plays for 30 secs, in which time you must come up with the longest word you can. (It doesn't matter how rare or obvious it is, or which particular letters are "employed" in spelling this word out. Your score is basically how many letters long you manage to make this word. It must be listed in the Oxford dictionary so proper names are out. And, as it's a dictionary-based game, one must of course be careful about hyphenated words (not allowed), words beginning with un- (they're only allowed if specifically listed). And you'd be surprised, but the rather staid editors of the (single volume) Oxford dicko simply refuse or omit to include some rather obvious expressions... sorry but I cannot bring to mind an example. You'd think I'd be quite good at this. But, like practically ALL word games, it's not a true game of language so much as spelling, which never has been my strong point. I get loads of 4 letter words (yes, fogey that I am, I've started playing along with pen and paper. Sad I know.) A few fives. The odd six. Whereas the onscreen contestants get endless sevens, while Suzie Dent from dictionary corner (ie the "judge") comes up with loads of eights. Des O'Connor, the main presenter, who is an oldguard star of the British TV firmament, been around for years does surprise me. Suzy comes up with words like ... oh man I can't think of an example: but Des shocks me -- his vocabulary is execrable!!! He lives in childlike lexical wonder. Everything is new to him. I'm best at the numbers game. Choose any six numbers which can be big ones (25, 50, 75 or 100) or little ones (1-9) drawn at random, but you can specify however many of each type. Numbers genius Carol Voderman presses a button; a random target between 100-999 flashes up, eg make 813 from 75, 6, 7, 2,3 and 9. I can get this part spot on almost as good as the contestants. Shame it only makes up about a fifth of the game!!! I know I'd never win with my 4s and 5 letter words but I'd love to go on and win the Countdown goodie bag. Also, I don't own a proper dictionary since my last one got stolen (long story)...
Click here for Wikipedia's no doubt far more succinct description of how the game works.
Is there any news to tell? Our front door has a working lock and has not been broken down for over two weeks, which is quite a record.
Somebody got stabbed, I think, on the street round the corner from my house last night. I was there. I saw nothing, didn't realize anything was happening until Police cordened off the road with me inside the cordens ... What disgusted me was the way crowds of kids went on shouting, whooping and joking around like it was some sort of party as this very sick and injured individual lay in the middle of the cordened-off road, cars and buses piling up for half a mile or more in each direction ... What is this country coming to? Our youth are getting so seriously badly behaved they disgrace this country to the world. I have heard French people, Americans ... & so on complaining they are glad to get back to their own countries because at least they feel safer in the presence of the younger generation there. Nobody would scold or tell off a young person for acting out of order. Not unless they were willing to take their personal safety in their own hands ... After school time, Police turn up at the bus stop (idiot mayor of London Ken Livingstone gave under 16s free transport which causes utter chaos at school chucking-out times, the kids are revolting to be near, honestly ...) Police turn up in a special CCTV van and stand at the stop openly filming with camcorders like they do in riots. But this is schoolkids they're targetting ... What is this country coming to ..?..
Well I've gotta go now; I've got cod & parsley bubbling "in the bag" ... Thanks for the responses to my cry for help "what do I do?" ... They are much appreciated. See how I'm babbling away??
The egotism of shyness - A few posts ago I wrote about feeling responsible for killing people. I realised today that I blame myself for many things. Most things. To be honest quite...
5 hours ago