THAT'S WHERE I REALLY AM NOW: Terribly in-between everything. A rock and a hard place. Life and death. Waking and sleeping. Being a junkie; being a human being. Writing poetry and writing crap. Everything's like this in life right now.
The only way I can describe my predicament is that different things in life that I may want to do feel as if they're in as distinctively different dimensions as dreams are from wakefulness. Both feel real as you experience them, which makes the choice of one or the other direction all the more difficult. The only way of telling which is more real is by remembering: in dreams, everything seems real. In our waking lives dreams are unreal yet wakefulness is.
But I get so intoxicated by the moment, I lose sight of this.
Ancient Chinese proverb says: He who chases two rabbits catches nothing.
Am I making sense to anyone here?
The egotism of shyness - A few posts ago I wrote about feeling responsible for killing people. I realised today that I blame myself for many things. Most things. To be honest quite...
6 hours ago