HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Monday, June 08, 2009

Cooking Chicken...

... MY KITCHEN QUEST IS FAR FROM DONE!

Only last week I was in utter bemusement in a butcher's
while purchasing raw chicken legs about what setting to oven cook them on. Iceland's own Chinese Chicken Drumsticks and Barbecue Thighs had cooking time and temp on the packet (and it was absolutely bang-on correct) but I'd clean forgotten it. The time was half an hour. But the heat setting? God only knew...

So I said to the man, "Do you think it is half an hour at 200C?" and he said, "Oo-aargh! No, boy! That would incinerate 'em good an' proper! Try half that."

I wandered sceptically off and decided to try half an hour at 175 and they came out barely done. So in desperation I stalked outside and rifled my own bins (to some vulgarizing looks by the neighbours, which perversely seemed to make it all worthwhile) and found out my original instincts had been correct ~ the cooking temp for chicken pieces is indeed 200C in an open casserole dish in the middle of a preheated oven for half an hour; and for good measure turn off heat after this time and leave chicken bits to cook-as-they-cool. This gets them really nicely done. Alternatively, you could do them for 35 mins full blast, then remove them.

Cooking my own chicken bits has saved me a fortune at the local chippy, which charges £2.25 for a chicken quarter (actually that's not bad value come to think of it). But Iceland do 600g of pre-marinaded bits ~ that's six drumsticks or thighs per packet ~ for £2.50. And Tescos were doing an entire uncooked fairly large chicken for £2 (until I moved too far from Tescos to be practicable) and £3.50 for a medium-small cooked one.

At my house-before-last I cooked an entire chicken from scratch in the landlord's miniature tinpot oven (it was like a mobile toast-grilling device ~ not much more; my naive friends assumed it was an olden microwave for it wasn't much bigger...) anyway this device cooked a whole halal chicken absolutely perfectly. I used the meat in stir-fries and Chinese takeaway MSG-flavour curries.

I found if you're going to use it in stir-fries and the like, it is far more practical to pre-roast a chicken whole and re-flashfry as desired than to dodder about with raw meat and giblets. There's no worries about food poisoning and no need to neurotically keep checking the meat and cutting sections in half ensure it's not pinky-translucent in the middle...

Here endeth today's post. If anybody knows any better chicken tips, you know where to answer... many thanks and goodbye for now ;->...

PS: pictures are surely self-explanatory; except maybe the bottom one ~ doncha just luurve a plate of British-tandoori over-coloured chicken tikka?... Yumm!

14 comments:

Gledwood said...

O come on somebody ~ SAY SOMETHING...! all that cooked chicken's making me starving..!

sofia said...

i want to thank you the beautifull poem... and the translation is quite understandable...i relly aprecciated!!!
oh, and by the way, all those pictures made me feel hungry lololol!!!!!!
big kiss and take care

Akelamalu said...

I love chicken. My favourite recipe is Chicken Kiev - make a little pocket in a chicken breast and stuff with cream cheese with garlic then coat the chicken in flour, then beaten egg, then breadcrumbs and bake in the oven for approx 45 mins Gas mark 6 - delicious.

Catvibe said...

It was so great to see you on my blog today! And now I'm here, and funny, I bought a precooked chicken for tonight too! How did we manage that one Gled? My stomach is gnawing, I gotta go eat!

Oh, we are lucky here, the precooked (and organic!) chicks are less than the raw ones. Go figure?

Baino said...

Gleds, the top pic looks very similar to chicken we had at a friend's recently. You put garlic and rosemary into an open can of beer (tip out 1/3 of the beer first or drink it!), sit the chicken on the can and smear generously with olive oil, salt and pepper (you won't need msg) and cook for about 1.5 hours on 200 for the first half hour then 180 for the remaining hour. . .the beer and herbs infuse the flesh and make it moist and delicious. Chicken wings in soy and honey are pretty quick and easy too, especially if you like to eat with your fingers!

Puss-in-Boots said...

I loooove marinated chicken wings. Actually I love chicken full stop! I don't eat a lot of red meat, but heaps of chicken and fish.

Can I offer you a job in Australia as my personal chef?

Moggs Tigerpaw said...

Chicken is tasty and versatile.

Have you tried making Chicken a la forestiere?

Now the question is... Did you check to see if it was free range chicken?

If it wasn't... Have you seen how they keep them? Ew!

Gattina said...

Wow ! now you really make me hungry especially because I love chicken ! and I almost ate chicken every day in Morocco because they tasted soooo delicious. These were good old chickens we call "bio" here now and which cost a fortune, there they run around free and happy and pick up whatever they want except chemicals ! Couscous was lovely !

kelly Al-Saleh said...

Meat is Murder....
I used to be a vegetarian (as many Smiths fans). But my temptation (since I don't eat pork/bacon) was a rotisserrie chicken. My friend and I had one whole chicken each after a drunken night of clubbing (just booze, i was an innocent girl at this time). It was so satisfying eating it with my hands. We threw the carcasses on the steps of a solicitors office once we were done.

I'm still a Smiths fan but I like meat (or eating dead animals as Morrissey would view it).
Saying that, I don't eat it everyday cos of the cost and I'm not one of these people that panics if there's no meat in something.

take care x Kelly

Fishwhiskers said...

Ewwwwwwww all that chicken wanted to make me puke. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Gledwood!!! But sounds like you're settling in ok, so that's a plus :) Fishy xx

Gledwood said...

Sofia: Good! I'm glad it came out Ok. Originally I tried translating from the German to Portuguese but the German word "Ruh" which should be "paz" just stayed as Ruh which was highly annoying. I think Google Translate has "unwitting genius" about it...

Akelamalu: Thanks for that recipe; I will take it down...

... when I was in France and we were reduced to cooking over a campfire, I stuffed chicken with a massive bundle of fresh herbs. It came out really really nice....

Catvibe: I never worked that out either.

1st time I ever ate precooked chicken we had been traipsing round and round and ROUND shops for hours with my step mother who LOVES shopping. I was maybe hungriest I have ever felt in my life (but when I really was hungry I never felt it)... anyway THEN we ate precooked chicken. It sealed a memory then inside me of just how good that could be ...

Baino: ... but what do you mean "sit the chicken on the can"..?

Pussinboots: aye! But would I get a visa?

They do lime and something chicken wings in Iceland, but I was too stingy to buy them as WELL as 2 others. %-/...

Gledwood said...

Moggs: no I hold my hands up I never checkened that.

Shyte that was a spelling mistake but what a one!!

What is this forest chicken then??

Gattina: Have you ever had poussin? I did once. Except for being disconcertingly tiny and cooked-pet-like, it was delish

Kelly: I once tried to be vegetarian, mainly bc I thought the idea of cutting up dead animals' flanks was revolting.

Only I like the cooked product too much...

Fishwiskas: so you ARE vegitarian then..???

I do like chicken but must say I OVERDOSED on it over the years. So when I get kebab now it's always lamb (and shish ~ not doner)

Syd said...

The chicken looks great. I am hungry after looking at that. I do some Thai dishes with chicken that are great.

Gledwood said...

I'll have to learn to cook some Thai. I wanna do it from scratch though; not just buying tubs of red and green curry paste.

I might learn Malaysian as well. Isn't that Indian crossed with Chinese with penut butter poured on everything..?

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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