I FOUND A NEW BAR of SOAP on the street. The wrapper said: "luxurious olive oil soap" in English and "Saf Zeytinyağı Sabunu" in Turkish. And when I attempted to coax lather from it, the bar remained harsh and dry as a block of pumice. Five minutes later a faint slime began to manifest. And got all over my hands. And unlike any other soap I'd ever known: wouldn't wash off! And worse still ~ smells of mouse urine and diarrhoea. Like, you know, that musty scent when they get in your cornflakes and the droppings swirl round the breakfast bowl like choc-chips on the milk.
Plus: the odour of the mouse-pooze mingles with overheated metal and hair. With a bit of vitriolic acid plopped on the hair for good effect.
It's as if I've buried my hands overnight in a mousey public toilet. And this sick aroma won't come off! Help me someone, please.
Things I cooked yesterday - Maple and pecan gluten-free cookies - slight fail on the texture but tasted nice and conkers. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do with the conkers...
2 hours ago