HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.


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I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Saturday, July 04, 2009





The woodmouse Apodemus sylvaticus) is one of the perkiest furries of the British hedgerow. Their conker-coloured fur covers a droplet-shaped body with long tail ~ for lots of nimble clambering ~ and poppy bright eyes. Although they might venture into outbuildings, woodmice are never known to live inside people's homes. Being totally native species to the British Isles they cannot stand the artificial heat. Their domain is the countryside and the great outdoors:

They crouch with a distinctive posture:

And are not to be confused with the smaller-eyed greyer-coated common housemouse (Mus musculus), who, having travelled to these isles on cargo ships from warmer lands frequently ventures inside to "forage" out our food and take shelter from our inconveniently harsh winters!

The woodmouse is closely related to the larger yellow-necked mouse (Apodemus flavicollis)

Woodmice and yellow-necked mice both hibernate in winter, and are often to be found in vast underground nesting chambers snoozing on top of one another huddled for warmth in furry heaps. These enterprising little critters will survive on any food they can get their paws on:

Of course they have to be exceedingly agile to survive:

Woodmice are not generally kept as pets, though they may become tame if accustomed to human contact at a young enough age. They are born blind, bald and naked, like "baked beans with paws". This is what they look like with first fur, still a few days old. Note the eyes remain closed:

This one is but a few weeks old. Look at the perky expression on that face!


Akelamalu said...

I don't like mice of any description. :(

Anonymous Drifter said...

awww, I think they're adorable and since they don't come indoors they're alright in my book.

Sweden said...

i love mice and rats, ive had 3 rats as pets and they were very smart and sociable, i loved them very much.
My apt has the occasional mouse in it and mango has killed about 4 since i moved in, one day i went into the kitchen and found a mouse on the floor without its head upon further investigation i found the head a few feet away from the body, she had not only killed it but decapitated it too. She doesent eat them just plays with them for a while then kills them. i get very sad because i like them and them flush the body down the toilet after a little prayer.

Lesley said...

I love woodmice! We have loads of them in the garden and enjoy watching their antics. I even buy hamster/mouse food from the pet shop for them. 'Our' garden mice are well-looked after! They remind me of Johnny Depp with their huge brown eyes. lol

Sweden said...

lesley ive never heard anyone say that johnny depp look like a wood mouse LOL that would probably be the first time ever anyone has said that.

BTW how is sobriety going Gledwood???
personally i havent done any drugs (oxycodone)in 3 weeks yay me

Rita said...

Cute, so cute ! :)))

Puss-in-Boots said...

What cute little critters. I don't mind mice, as long as they stay outside. We have fieldmice here, which are different and much smaller than the common mouse. Tiny round bodies with a lo-o-ong tail and boy, can they move!

Puss-in-Boots said...

What cute little critters. I don't mind mice, as long as they stay outside. We have fieldmice here, which are different and much smaller than the common mouse. Tiny round bodies with a lo-o-ong tail and boy, can they move!

Bimbimbie said...

I like the look of mice ... they always appear worried, probably have a lot of stress on their little selves about not becoming lunch for something bigger*!*

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I like your furry posts.....of course.

Gledwood said...

Akelamalu: Don't like mice..??!? Get outta here!!
see, very cute. And such poppy eyes!!

Katrina: our dog caught a mouse in her chops years ago... strange as I never though that particular dog had the coordination for it, esp. to catch one in her NOSE!.. (Well nose/mouth... "snout", ya know..?)

I've had a pet "wild" housemouse that came from a petshop container full of dopey white ones. And my wild browny-grey one was clambering all over these. So I took him home and named him "MOUSEABLE"! Everyone loved him. He was a star.

... Never had a pet rat though...


aww ~thankyou v much ;->... I've only seen wild woodmice about twice, you know. I heard they were ultra shy, retiring: but this pair looked dead calm (yet v alive!...)

Gledwood said...

Pussinboots: I'd love to see an Aussie fieldmouse; I'm intrigued now! We also have harvest mice and those really are tiny even the Latin name is micromys minutus

Bimbimbie: YES! I'm glad someone else sees that. Usually people think I'm crazy when I claim rodents pull faces... e.g. hamsters are most adept at looking surprised ;->...


Syd said...

The mice are neat. Unfortunately, one of the cats killed one the other day. I live in woods here so there are plenty of mice.
Thanks for the July 4 shout out.

molson said...

Thank you for a most excellent Fourth of July salutation Gledwood. There was a time when Brits didn't find too much good in the Fourth of July. Can't say I blame them, but fortunately the times have changed. Now the Fourth is a holiday everyone can enjoy. It really is a feel good holiday and no matter a person's background, everyone seems to get on board here in the States. If you should ever be fortunate enough to get the chance, the New York City Fourth of July fireworks display is a must see.

Gledwood said...

Syd: are those there woods full of poisonous spiders too..??

Molson: all I really know about 4th July is it's like our Nov 5th. i.e. a day (or night) to let off fireworks!!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Of course I love this post and the photos. I especially enjoyed the first fur photo.

Too cute!

Love to you,


Gledwood said...

it's a shame the one of the mousey nibbling on a birdfeeder tennis ball full of fat somehow vanished... (no idea why...)



Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.

Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!

Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood