THIS IS A PICTURE of the Australian drug-memoirist Kate Holden, who published her story of middle-class girl's fall from sheltered upbringing to heroin addict a few years ago to international success. After taking heroin for some months she hit the point all addicts hit, when friends will no longer lend money, credit cards are spent ... etc and something else has to be done to raise money. So she went out and sold her body on the streets. One night a man picked her up saying he worked for a brothel that needed new girls. Two brothels later she had become one of Melbourne's most prized "ladies" of the night.
After a five-year "battle" with the drug. (An expression I that always makes me smirk inwardly: for most of an addict's battle involves automatically going on taking the drug, no matter how much they feel and say they want to stop...) ... she eventually detoxed on reducing methadone, continued working several nights a week in an upmarket brothel, and used the money she saved to fund a trip to Europe.
But all I could wonder about, on finishing the book was what did she do next? Do you think this picture gives an answer..?
To me it does. It underlines a sad reality.
I have a friend who "got clean" via Subutex (buprenorphine) after a 35 year + habit. He is full of stories of the legendary days of the 1960s. I cross-checked some of his facts and the tales appear to be true.
He was a good friend (ex-partner) of my old friend Lucky who suddenly died just over a year ago. She was the ONLY dead addict I ever cried over, so I hope wherever she is she feels privileged ... anyway:
How amazing: if someone so heavily addicted to heroin for so long can go clean ~ isn't there hope for us all?
Then, as I spent more time with him I realized the uglier (more obvious) truth. Of course he IS still using. Even after all this treatment, after all this time. He's still ~ albeit occasionally ~ using heroin.
Which just makes me want to jump out of the window.
When I get clean ~ I know this ~ I will NEVER go back.
Which is probably why I find it so very hard to GET clean...
EVA CASSIDY ~ Fields of Gold
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Lucky always said she used to deal Chinese heroin in Soho. And she did indeed have a very faded Chinese tattoo on one hand ...
... I'm never sure whether or not to believe such stories, but hers did have a ring of truth ... if anyone's interested, here are some facts about the "olden days" from Black Poppy magazine ...
It was Christmas eve in a war zone - I just about managed to rise this morning but shining is still a long way off. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I had my usual stress dream last night....
19 hours ago