HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

LIVE FROM LONDON

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Birdie-bathing....

FEATHERY FRIDAY ON SATURDAY
FEDERARTIGER SAMSTAG




What an amazing sight; Nikki the cockatiel washing wings under kitchen tap!
Was für ein wunderschönes Blick! Nymphensittich wascht die Flügeln unter Küchezapfen!




Gonzo really goes for it under the tap. You'd think they'd really hate water dripping right between the feathers, but apparently not so:
Man liebt das Wasser so...



Mad French woman strips off and takes squeaky-squarking cockatiel into shower... (no tiny tits)
Verrückte Französin entkleidet und bringt lärmenden schreienden Vogel in die Duschi mit:



Extraordinarily tame budgie goes for outdoor Tupperware bath...
Außergewöhnlich zahmer Wellensitti ch nimmt Tupperware-Bad im Freien:



Blue tit has splish-splash-sploshy jamboree in the bath:
"Blaumeise spielt Propeller im Vogelbad" ~ sehr komisch!




I don't know what this is because it's Russian and it still won't load, but if anyone sees it and likes it, please tell me!
Über diesem hab' ich keine Ahnung...




Only in Japan 鳥風呂 ~ it takes a while to get going, but eventually you see an entire flock of (pet) canaries taking a dip...
Kanarienvogelflug baden....



And last but not least: bizarre Japanese bird-tin antics:
Bizarre Vogeldosegrimassen aus Japan:

12 comments:

Gattina said...

I really wonder what happens to you ! First for weeks you were on a dog trip, now for weeks you are on a bird trip and even on a German one ! I can't play your videos because my cats get crazy ! When do you start with cows ??

Gledwood said...

Yeah maybe I'll do an "at the farm" theme...

... it was the birds themselves that set me off on birds. First Flapper the pigeon stalking me outside my house. Then a blackbird singing on the roof. My Mum told me what it was. I only knew blackbirds by their alarm call. I knew nothing about birdsongs of any kind. Then I heard some amazing singing coming from a tree I knew the nightingale lived up, because I had seen it in winter. Like a little thrush... well, it looked like a nightingale! Then I realized the bird in the next tree was a wren and now I keep hearing wrens everywhere! Then this tiny blue tit spirals down from the tree... I kept thinking everyone will think I'm making this up, or that it happened years ago, but it really was yesterday. Right there. In the middle of the road, chirping up at me!!

Syd said...

Interesting with the bird videos. What happened to the Norwich terriers?

jams o donnell said...

A great set of bird vids. Very enjoyable!

Gledwood said...

Syd: with the dogs I was saying "I want one" which does get a bit sad. In the end you have to get one or shut up about it. I still want a doggie, I just can't have one

Jams: Danke schön!

Rosenfee said...

Hi
Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comment
Danke für den Besuch meines Blogs und deinen Kommentar
Pictures from Germany/Brunswiek
kind regards
Liebe Gr
üsse
Patricia

Gledwood said...

;->...

you're most welcome

molson said...

Gledwood, these videos are full of birds. I don't think I've ever seen a tit take a bath before. There's nothing quite like a clean tit I say.

The spiky ridge that looks like a stegosaurus' back is known as the Keyboard of the Winds. It's a rather dramatic name. Mountains seem to inspire dramatic names. Well some do. Other's not so much. Take the highest peak in Colorado, Mt. Elbert. It was named after the sixth Governor of the Territory of Colorado which is not so dramatic.

Herz-und-Leben said...

Herzlichen Dank für die lieben Grüße aus London!
Was für hübsche Vogel-Bilder und der badende Vogel ist ja hervorragend getroffen! Leider kann ich mit meiner extrem langsamen Internetverbindung hier auf dem Land keine Videos online angucken.
Bei uns hat es sich seit gestern leider abgekühlt, aber es soll auch wieder schöner werden. Ich denke auch, daß manche ein Vorurteil haben, was das Wetter in GB betrifft.

Lieber Gruß
Sara

Bimbimbie said...

Hahaha I think you've been birded, I could only get the last two to play, I love to watch the feathered ones taking a bath, if birds can smile then they do when bathing. I was snapping a few photos of my feathered one splashing about yesterday*!*

Neckarstrand said...

Gledwood, es sit schwer, bei Dir Kommentare zu hinterlassen. Gestern hatte ich einen langen Kommentar u diesem Post verfaßt, der aber nicht erschienen ist. Daher noch einmal:
Ich finde Deine Bilder und die Kommentare wundervoll. Mir gefallen alle Vögel, aber die Meischen besonders. Mach weiter so.
Liebe Grüsse und einen schönen Sommeranfang
Irmi

Gledwood said...

Molson: aye! But there's a really dramatic cliff face that just so happened to be formed in the shape of a load of dead presidents! Or someone somehow painstakingly dynamited/chiselled/hacked this cliff-edge until it looked like presidents. I dunno...

Sara: was für eine Schande, dass Dein internetkonnex so langsam ist. Die beste Videos sind der Wellensittich von Sonntag, und der badende Wellensittich, "Blaumeise spielt Propellor" und vielleicht der Sittich in der Dusch.
Das Wetter in London ist auch ein bisschen kalt geworden.

Bimbimbie: the bimbimbs are my new obsession, so I've been told. You see my obsessive-compulsive thing coming out... first doggies, now this. Difference being I wanted a dog (still do) but the birdies come free, twirtling on the trees...
Yeah it surprised me, it really did that they enjoy bathing so very much. How peculiar!!
And don't they look funny all fluffed out like that.
I really like the tiny bluetit going for it in the birdbath. By the end she looks too sodden almost to fly.
Also did you notice the 2 bluetits in that vid look different. I'm convinced tit #1 was a girl and tit #2, the more cautious one was a boy. He looks bigger than her

Irmi: verlorene Kommentare? ich weiß nicht, was das Problem sei...
Ich habe eine Lösung. Vielleicht solltest Du die Kommentar lassen, und dann normalerweise klicken, Fenster schliessen, und dann wiederöffnen und sehen, ob er erschien hat ...

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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