HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Kerry Coke-Nose Dropped by Iceland


KERRY KATONA, the "Atomic Kitten Who Never Sang", ex-wife of Brian McFadden of Irish pop band Westlife, reality star, infamously ghostwritten "author" and columnist and star of Iceland (a frozen food shop, not the country!) TV commercials, was caught in the act snorting cocaine in her own home.

A hidden camera in her bathroom filmed the action. (Some friends she has...) The News of the World sunday newspaper broke the story and it was announced today in The Sun that Kerry has been dropped by Iceland, losing a £250,000 a year deal and her chief source of income.

This incident is only the latest in a string of woes. Last year she caused outrage when she seemingly appeared on the highly popular TV programme This Morning drunk as a skunk.

At the time she blamed the fiasco on her "bipolar meds".

She was diagnosed bipolar last year after spending time in the celebrity Priory clinic.

Not long after this, MTV-UK dropped her reality show after it pulled in only 19,000 viewers.

All this in the same year poor Kerry was victim of "home invasion" as robbers stormed in and robbed the "terrified star" of £10,000s of jewellery, cash and an expensive car.

As well as all this she is trying to bring up three young children in an on-off marriage to a gold-digging man who looks like a weasel who milked her so dry she was actually declared bankrupt in 2008, as the British tabloids gleefully reported.

Her husband Mark Croft is actually Kerry's childhood sweetheart ~ a fact the media like conveniently to ignore.

The bankruptcy was actually a technicality due to an unpaid tax bill and income that would cover it coming later (or whatever).

Whatever the world is coming to I do not know but here's the links and vids for those who wish to learn more:

LINKS:

KERRY KATONA biography, wikipedia.

Kerry Katona online (fansite).

MTV UK KK page

Atomic Kitten write-up (Wikipedia).

Atomic Kitten official site.

KK Goes Mad On Coke After 4-Day Booze Bender (News of the World newspaper)

KK's Coke Binge Caught On Camera (Perez Hilton)

Frozen Out: Kerry Dropped by Iceland chain (Sun newspaper)

Husband of Broke Kerry "has £450,000 in business account" (News of the World).

KK Robbery Latest (Now magazine).

~O man all this makes it look like I'm a fan and she winds the living **** out of me!!~

KERRY KATONA SNORTS COCAINE:



KERRY KATONA: DRUNK ON "THIS MORNING"

9 comments:

Jeannie said...

Being over here - I've never heard of her. And what is a hidden camera doing in her bathroom? She seems to be one of those stupid people that searches out drama and is searched out by drama. Living life BIG and on display. Whatever. I'll likely never hear of her again.

Gledwood said...

I know ~ what kind of friends??!? ~ I added that little comment to the post just now.

Hopefully you won't hear of her again. We hear about her far too much over here!!

And yes I think you're absolutely correct ...

Chic Mama said...

Hi, must admit I can't stand her either but I feel a bit sorry for her, and the papers are just pushing her over the edge.Addiction is hard enough without scum like the papers watching your every move. I can't believe they can get away with planting a hidden camera in her bathroom. Isn't it a sad reflection on our society. :0(

Gledwood said...

her "whole existence" as far as the media see her is about just being in the media. which sounds a bit crap to me

Akelamalu said...

She's a fool! I Bryan getting the kids.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

She sure is good tabloid fodder, isn't she?

Baino said...

There's a whole raft of media celebrities that are just that . .media celebrities. As for the camera in her bathroom, someone should pay for such an infringement of privacy

Lori said...

I think it is deplorable that someone would put a camera in her bathroom. I know that there are many normal things I do in my bathroom that are private. The whole celebrity/media game is getting so ridiculous. Notice now that Amy Winehouse is making an attempt to get her act together, she isn't in the press the much? The vultures of this world swoop down when there is the smell of rotting meat, but why not some posts of Ms. Winehouse and others when they are thriving and doing well? Bah, this kind of stuff makes me sick. Live and let live. People who thrive off others' misery are going to reap what they sow one day. Good post... Have a great day my new friend..

Gledwood said...

Akelamalu: here here

SB: o yeah. .they love her. love getting all sniffy over her. so to speak ...

Baino: I know. The Sun insists it was a hidden mobile phone. Well I don't know one that can be set to motion or voice activated. it was a spy camera pure and simple! you can get one for £100

Lori: you're right. But Kerry Katona makes her entire income off of reality programmes and celebrity interviews. The Iceland deal came off the back of that ...

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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