HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Winter White Siberian Hamsters

... A FURRY-FRIDAYS-ON-SATURDAYS ENTERTAINMENT POST ...

IF I DO get hamsters again, I might go for Winter White Dwarf Russian hamsters.



They are normally sold as just "Russian hamsters" but there are two species. In Europe winter whites (phodopus sungorus) are the most popular. They are very good natured with people and each other, hardly ever bite. They are about twice as big as roborovskis (phodopus roborovskii) and far less flighty by nature. Winter whites DO make very good pets for children.



They are named "winter white" because (provided you don't leave the lights on all the time), the reduced daylight hours in winter make them lose the characteristic grey colouring and, depending on the individual, go anything from white-grey with spots to almost pure white.







In America, "Russian hamsters" are more likely to be Campbells dwarf hamsters (phodopus campbelli) , which come from the same Siberian regions. In natural coloration they look very much the same, except the characteristic dorsal stripe is less marked and there are no black stripes round the flanks.



These are said to be less good-natured than winter whites. I used to have one winter white and one Campbells who lived together and found this to be true because the winter white was perfectly placid, whereas the Campbells absolutely hated being picked up! But unlike winter whites, these can be bred into a vast array of colours.





Coming from the Siberian wastes as they do, Russian hamsters of both types have the thickest and softest fur of any hamster species. They even have fur on the soles of their feet!

Of course, this being Furry Friday on Saturday I have to add that baby Russian hammies are very tiny ...



... and cute!

15 comments:

Bimbimbie said...

Too cute ... I'd have to go for the white ones. Years ago I used to have a pair of albino Guinea pigs which soon had babies*!*

Akelamalu said...

OH you're spoilt for choice! I didn't know there were so many different species of hamsters!

Gledwood said...

BIMBIMBIE: you can get Campbells that are white all the time; else the normal winter whites are grey by summer and far lighter by winter. But you couldn't tell by looking at any individual one how light that one would go (un4tunately) ...

AKELAMALU: o yeah there's 5 different ones "commonly" kept as pets ...
1. Syrian/golden (normal hamsters)
2. Winter White Russian (dwarf)
3. Campbells Russian (dwarf)
4. Roborovski (pymgy)
5. Chinese (like a big mouse)

Anonymous Drifter said...

Loved the pics, thanks for sharing.

Gledwood said...

aye you're welcome; they come from an online pet shop mostly y'know ;->...

Merle said...

Hello Gleds ~~ I was so sorry to hear that Spherical died, I guess she was lonely, But these Russian whites look lovely and sound calmer than the robos. So that sound like the way to go, because you really enjoyed your hammies.
Thanks for you comment that I look like my aunties. We did all look alike. I was surprised your weather is warmer than here. 8oF is about 27C but we are just at the end of Winter and you are at the end of Summer. It doesn't get much hotter than that in London, does it? It is hard to know if British Airways were racist in
banning Naomi Campbell or was she
just too rude and abusive?
Take care, my friend. Regards,Merle.

Gledwood said...

No Naomi Campbell has been in a lot of trouble bc of her temper. It definitely was her fault and not BA being racist.

If I get hamsters again I think I probably will get Russian ones. It's just nice to be able to pick them up without thinking they're fine then 5 mins later their panicking and dropping on the floor!

My Daughter's Addiction said...

Gled-so sorry for the loss of all of your little robos. Looking forward to seeing your new Russian family.

Puss-in-Boots said...

If I were into hamsters, I rather like the sound of the Winter Whites. I like pets that don't bite and let you pick them up. Good luck with whichever variety you choose. I'm sure you'll let us know...

Sweden said...

it's so funny and cute how obsessed with hamsters you are, i told my X rob about you today as were were riding around on his motorbike

Deb said...

Hey gleds.

Missed ya.

I think you should get some more furry friends - you're so good to them and I think they really are good for you, too.

;)

Janice said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your last hamster passing away, I guess they don't live very long.

The baby hamster are really cute.

Janice~

Gledwood said...

MDA: IF I get them ... not sure yet. Still I have loads of pumblechooks in the fridge and nothing to do with them ...

PUSSINBOOTS: + they have AMAZINGLY soft fur, like nothing else. If they'd been created very much bigger they'd surely have been hunted to death by now just for their pelts, poor swines ...

SWEDEN: o yeah you gotta be all or nothing and if that's obsessive that's just me ya know ...

DEBS: I probably shall but haven't decided anything yet. I decided if I do to get an enormous see-thru plastic storage box (you know the type I mean) here they're about £6 for a big one so I'd expect by you they're $6 because everything's ripoff prices here.

Debs Debs what have you been DOING? Any news?... do tell please!!

JANICE: ;->...

Gattina said...

They are soooo cute ! like little fur balls !

Syd said...

Gleds, they are really cute. I would think that any of these little ones would be wonderful to have. Really sparky little eyes.

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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