HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Meerkats!

FURRY FRIDAY ON SATURDAY:

Meerkats are some of the most entertaining of all animals to watch.



Meerkats are highly social animals and do everything together.



They're only 1ft (30cm) tall, ie slightly smaller and slighter than the average house cat. This is their characteristic "sentry" pose as they watch out for enemies in the Kalahari Desert region of Southern Africa they call home.



Meerkats are closely related to mongooses and similarly have a huge natural resistance to venom of many types. Yes, they eat scorpions. Plus a very varied diet that includes everything from insects to tree roots ...



They can even survive the bite of a puff adder, which would ordinarily kill a grown man. Here's a clip from the BBC's highly acclaimed Meerkat Manor series:



And baby meerkats are tiny (of course)





and very, very cute ...



(here under infrared light in at Australia's Mogo Zoo)



When they think the humans aren't listening meerkats talk with a Russian accent, as "divulged" by this advert series for a British price comparison website. The ads have been so successful that one football manager from the former USSR cannot open his mouth before team-mates start quoting the famous commercials for Compare the Meerkat dotCom:









Have a happy weekend, y'all..!

10 comments:

Sweden said...

i always watch meercat manor!!! it's so fun and also rreally sad at times, when they get hurt and stuff

as for my secret if my source disappear i guess i have no choice but to quit lol as simple as that

gledwood said...

argh nasty!

on meerkat manor do you get the english voice or do they dub it over your end?

Rita said...

Incredibly cute :))) That upright position is remarkable. Must go and find out how to pronounce meerkat... And what the Finnish for it is. Have a good weekend!

Sweden said...

gledwood its in a British accent

hannibal is an awful meercat booo he sucks, and flower was bitten by a snake once and almost died

Bimbimbie said...

Bet they learn to eat those scorpions very fast and carefully - their stand reminds me of the way kangaroos sit back and watch ... only these don't have pouches ;)

Puss-in-Boots said...

I love meerkats, the way they stand up on their hind legs is so cute. My cats do that too when they see or hear something unusual. They look quite odd.

I'd never head of Mogo Zoo and had to have a look on the link. Of course, it's privately owned so that's probably why I've never heard of it!

Vincent said...

Nice post :-)

Gledwood said...

RITA: Finnish for Meerkat? Miirkat~~??

ps you said nothing about the glorious Russian accent in those commercials ..(!!)

SWEDEN: yes I remember. That was the clip I was looking for the one who got bitten by a puffadder, whimpered back to the nest ... and 2 days later was ALIVE AND WELL...!!!

BIMBIMBIE: aye!

PUSSINBOOTS: your cats stand up like Meerkaks? That's quite amazing ...

Yes Mogo zoo's private, I saw when listing, but didn't know whether to mention that. I'd assume most Australian zoos were, after all didn't Steve Irwin have one too..?

VINCENT: you're welcome ;->...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Great post, Gledds. Loved it. Love you.

SB

Syd said...

Interesting critters. Not as cute as your little Spherical though.

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood