ROBOROVSKI NEWS: BASHFUL IS SERIOUSLY starting to "peeve" me. To my crime of inserting an ever-so-slightly rustly (and expensive, might I add) millet spray she shot from their tube-nest exploding like a fire cracker and sending hamsters splurring in all directions like furry fireballs. The swine. They did go mental over the millet, once they realized it was not a blobberous alien's craggy reptilian fingers or whatever the hell they thought it was first time round - Roborovskis have massively overactive imaginations.
Which reminds me: I was crossing the road earlier when Celine Dion yelled at me: "Will he think I'm weak if I tremble when I speak?!"
To which Barbra Streisand replied: "Love will be the gift you give yourself!!"
I thought I was having another psychotic episode.
Fortunately not - it was merely an off-duty blonde secretary's sound system blasting from her brand-new-looking ultramarine Vauxhall Tigra.
Which makes me wonder: what on earth possessed a car company to name themselves after a run-down, seedy sector of South London that is famed for nothing more exciting than its Victorian railway arches and high levels of street robbery? Vauxhall is hardly the most salubrious setting one could evoke for the selling of automobiles... it's a bit like naming your new cars after Haarlem or the Bronx... Ukk.
Do I sound chirpy as a budgie pecking a millet spray tonight? Because I don't really feel it. By the way the hand-painted budgie on the Trill box looks hilarious - the obvious product of an artist who's never actually owned such a bird. The posture and expression are all wrong. A bit like those hilarious early paintings of Orientals and Africans the sixteenth century white colonizers took home to show honest church-going folk what genuine heathens looked like... This particular budgie has a murderous look in its eye, as if it's minded to brutally slay the humble canary with that eagle's beak the artist so thoughtfully endowed him with...
Yes I am highly (?) depressed. Deeply depressed. Because I am forcing myself into giving up drugs plus writing my memoirs all in one. I keep telling myself I'm the Whitney Houston of memoirists in order to spur myself on but it's not working.
I can hardly call it an autobiography because as my Dad pointed out I've not done anything with my life: "That's the whole point," I said. "It's a memoir of drug-induced dereliction." I'm not sure he does really get the point, which can only really be told by the completed book. Which is why I have to write it... Also I want a gargantuan advance so I can get my eight-foot bogwood aquarium brimming with diddly dwarf frogs and tetras (did you notice it gets bigger every time I mention it?!) ... This to furnish my art nouveau flat in Chelsea that I shall move into directly from B&B...
If I say I've quitted heroin for good I'll only fall slapstick straight on my face like every other time so I'd better not and say "Hoorah! I just bought an ounce!" (Except I didn't.)
Righty-ho: better go and pen those memoirs, Whitney...
By the way my left leg in particular is covered in red lumps from my injecting highly acid brown heroin into tiny thread veins... nasty business... There appear to be none left now... it can take nearly an hour to get a "hit"... And you wonder why I said I've ordered myself to stop.
Right I really have gotta go. I'm hungry and craving baked beans and halal (turkey) Frankfurters.
By the way how's this for a title: My Drug Hell by Whitney-Mariah Roborovski... already I'm hunting out my old Judy Garland fright wig again for the Stephen Meisel author photo.
(And if you believe that you really will believe anything!!)
Righty-ho folks. Till 2morro...
3 hours ago
16 comments:
o come on someone! comment! or i really WILL change my name to whitney-mariah roborovski-garland!
Hi Gleds, loved all your videos specially Barbara Streisand she made some great movies.and im 60% dog lol... oooppps almost forgot your are rather chirpy tonight...
40% dog, 60% cat...not surprising really
You and cats have a lot in common.
You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.
However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!
Best of luck with the book and everything else too. Put me down for a copy when it comes out!
drugs are bad hmmkeey *walks off to the nearest coffee shop*
Well I'd say you've got plenty to write about.
btw you asked if R2K was a guy/girl..he's a guy.
Good luck to you, Gled. You've got something I can't quite put my finger on... elan of spirit, joie de vivre, a unique and humourous way of looking at the world... If you manage to beat your addiction, you'll accomplish great things.
Good luck, buddy.
You're a good writer Gleds so writing a book shouldn't be a problem, once you kick the 'problem'!
Hi, I'm feeling so happy becouse you visit my blog. I speack English not quitte well, but I undertod what didi you say. I hope you understand me to!!!
Bye
Tudo de bom pra vc!!!
(I don´t remeber haw can I say that... All of good for you, I think isn´t that, buuuut...):*
Jeanette: Do you know that footage of her singing in the studio is the first docu I've ever seen of a record actually being made (except for just brief clips)... I found it quite fascinating... and how efortlessly she makes that wonderful noise from her "pipes" ... amazing, man!
Puss-in-Boots: I'm surprised I was 50-50 I'd have thought I was more cat than dog... but my "honourable" characteristics swung the balance the other side, I spose... (well that's one way of putting it...)
Cheezy: Yeah! Hopefully there will be 10,000,000 copies sold within a few years so it shouldn't be too hard to get hold of one (..!!..)
Arjan: R2K is a guy..??... I thought he was a flickering pixellation of humanoid characteristics ...
Whitenoise: Hopefully that X-factor will make the book something special too... hopefully!!
Akelamalu: That's true... my intention was to kick the prob and write my way to freedom at the same time... might be a naive idea but why NOT..?!?
Mahaila: Yeah but your English is better than my your language.... (see, I don't even know what it IS; much less SPEAK it..!!..
awesome tetris video... i will post it on my vary video site when i get a chance. keep on the journey, gleds. you will look back one day and smile that you made it through these tough times.
Great post Gleds, love your humour...keep on pushing through and keep on writing
Anonymous: That is the most... unusual comment I have ever received... I must admit only to have perused selected sections... what IS it? Where did you get it from? Who are you? And did you write it yourself? (I somehow suspect NOT!!)
Raffi: I know... as I said... ONLY IN JAPAN!!! (Why don't other Asian countries make TV like that... why don't they fill up an empty satellite/cable channel with 24-hour versions of this..?? (Would people have the stomach to watch this for days on end tho??... Hey did you find those NYC robos??
Audrey: I will!/I did/I have/am about to post it...
I wouldn't worry about a life spent doing "nothing." That's a completely subjective judgment. Everybody spends their lives doing "nothing." Who does "Something?" The people who have written FANTASTIC, STUNNING memoirs are often just regular folks (I'm thinking of some favorites as I write) with a knack for telling a tale. If you've done amazing, ridiculous things, no one can relate, therefore they don't want to hear about it.
Keep writing. You have a gift.
I've kicked a lot in my life too. It sucks and the depression is hell. Does it help if I say it does get better? It does. But it comes and goes. You seem to do well at staying busy.
AINTNEVER: I'm glad someone noticed that I'm not ACTUALLY as lazy as first conclusion-jumping judgements might suggest... I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW because I feel that I'm wasting it... that parable of the talents... where we GET the word talent from... is about squandering the Holy Spirit... but on a more superficial level to many people it means that to be given a gift from God (like the ability to tell my own story arrestingly) brings a responsibility NOT to throw that talent away or let it rot but to nurture it and increase it through learning and practice and USE it for if not the benefit of mankind then at least the financial benefit of oneself, know what I mean..??
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