HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Mighty Mites? Might Not Be...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS/is not/might be wrong with my robos. As besides scratching they have no symptoms of mites OR fungal infection. I've looked this stuff up here and here and was told that mites you can quite easily SEE (they are about the size of a full-stop ("period")) and tend to cause scabberous fur loss anyway which none of my robbies have... fungal infection or "ringworm" as it tends to be called causes again fur loss in a ring. My Itchies have nothing more than itchiness and perhaps some pinkening of the skin... I don't know that they are stressed either...

... Believing that it might be infested with mites (because it's full of old bedding: I left it in there as it was the covering of their old food stash) ~ I removed their famous "tea box". It did, at one stage used to be an actual Sainsbury's Red Label teabox but was later replaced by a "water for injections" box... which doesn't somehow have the same ring about it, which is why I continued to call it their teabox... anyhow I got rid of that and, despite a wealth of tubes to doze in they set up home in the furthest corner of the tank out in the open. A pile of furry dozing grooming nibbling hamsters. Looking a bit like the one illustrated though I think that is a Russian hamster not a robo.

Yesterday, thinking they might perhaps NEED more tubes I added another FIVE,making EIGHT toilet tubes and one half inch wide ten inch long length of kitchen roll tubing that only Itchy can ping down as only Itchy is narrow enough! Sure enough their ears went up and their eyes looked beady as they explored these new additions to their "burrow" (well that is how they think of tubes: they love to hide in them sticking only their pink noses out...) ... yet despite all this enthusiastic exploring they won't sleep in them and prefer to go on sleeping au naturel. Which suits me as they look so entertaining when doing it...

If I do have to de-fungus/de-mite them I will look for a powder not a spray. Sprays make a massively panicking noise for most animals (ever tried to aerosol a cat?~ well then!) Plus some of the stupid instructions: ("shield the animal's eyes") ~ ever tried to HOLD a wriggling roborovski let alone shield the eyes: that is IMPOSSIBLE without general anaesthetic and even I think that is going too far... so my solution is to construct tubes into a U-bend shape. Then to fill the U with the medicinal fur-powder. Place hammy at one end of the U. Poke her bum with a chopstick or otherwise encourage her to burrow through... and hey presto she emerges covered in treatment powder and not hating me TOO much for doing it... does everyone agree that is the best way..?

32 comments:

CrystalChick said...

Yes, if they must be treated then I suppose a powder is the better way. Can't say I know a thing about your little babies tho, but I'm sure you'll do the best thing for them.

I didn't know about the commercial when you first mentioned it, so I googled him and found it on a myspace page. But I wasn't sure if it was a serious product or not as we don't have that brand here. Or atleast I don't use it. Maybe I should... my hubby is in construction and his whites aren't so white anymore. :(
Best wishes with the robos and thanks for posting the vid!

DaBich said...

Sounds like a good plan to me, Gled. Poor babies!

alexgirl said...

I feel itchy just reading this post! But yeah, that sounds best.
Oh, that DAZ commercial was hilarious. It's been a long time since I heard RSF.
And yeah, re YA: SE Hinton ins the shizz, and I haven't read any Cormier, but I'm motivated now. Also: Judy Blume was another biggie. (And of course ME in a few years time after I've written a few more books, and actually sold a few copies. lol)

Whitenoise said...

I've had to medicate dogs, including hyper-active german shepherds (alsations, I guess, to you blokes...) but I can't help you with hamsters. Good luck with it. Pet health can be frustrating since they can't tell you what's bothering them and they're so uncooperative.

Great Amy vid, I've had her album for almost a year. I wonder if she'll ever be able to get it together again or if this will be it before she becomes a fully burned-out husk. The Kraftwerk song is also a fav.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Your proposed dosing method sounds reasonable. Pity the robos do not come with some kind of instruction manual. :)

Akelamalu said...

Sounds like a good way to delouse the hammies - hope it works. :)

tut-tut said...

Will you be able to rub it into their skin afterward? I know the flea powder for my cats seems to require that step.

Patti said...

Yes I definitely say go with a powder - not a spray. Who the hell comes up with these ideas? They obviously have never tried them to fruition LOL

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Awww the poor little things!

Gledwood said...

Crystalchick: Hmmm: I shall have to find a mites/fungal powder; double check it IS suitable for small animals... & if so get 'em burrowing through with the threat of a chopstick prodding their behinds...

Dabich: thanks... only 1/2 reasonable-sounding idea I could come up with ...

Alexgrrl: glad you know Hinton isn't she the best? Not all that girlie teen romance peer pressure rubbish but bigtime issues... exellent stuff. Do you recall that character called M&M (from The Rumble Fish, I do believe) who had an acid-freakout and was never the same again... my heart goes out to M&M... SE Hinton has a real talent going on ;->...

Gledwood said...

PS Alexgrrl II: Judy Blume? Name rings several bells but not sure I ever ploughed thru one of hers... did she write FREAKY FRIDAY? Or am I gettin' seriously xxed wires..?

Whitenoise: her album: you mean Back to Black? Try her 1st one... it's just as fantabulous, BELIEVE... lots of Uncle Remus types playing sax in her vids (straying on Barrack Obama territory if you ask me... (socalled "black credentials" when actually Winehouse, as the name implies is JEWISH)... but hey! That's the modern/postmodern/postpostmodern planet we live on...

Yeah those pointynose policedogs we call Alsatians. Aparently Alsatians derivate from Alsace-Lorraine in France. But instead of babbling away in French at home, the locals of that region just growl, bark, whistle, and scrach at doors when crisp packets rustle or the sound of cans opening pricks up their pointy ears..

Lonegrey...: yeah they ought to... of course I picked up all the roboleaflets with my new purchase on the day ... to read on way home, flattering self i had made utterly sublime micro-social-hamster purchse... also I have a book called The Dwarf Hamster that goes into their sociology/health etc... plus my internet brouses but NOTHING has been totally fulfillingly revealing... so I dunno :-<...

Gledwood said...

Akelamalu: many thanks. Logic tells me that a furfull of medicinal white powder should definitely get them wee beasties off of their coats...

TutTut: rub the powder into skin afterwards? well I was hoping their effort of burrowing through that powdery u-bend would get the treatment right into their fur... if not I shall have to get heavy duty gloves (that don't smell of me), pick 'em up one at a time and rub fur against grain to get it properly worked in... if they don't quite realize it's me doing that - then hopefully they shouldn't resent ME too heavily for the heavy intrusion on their coaty-comforts...

Patti: possibly have tried them. on lab animals. who are not pets. and they don't CARE what those animals think of being so horrifically sprayed by a device that to a robosized critter is a screaming in the ear saying "run run run! run for the cloudy hills!!"

Preposterous: well if I get my way with the treatments they should be premium little swines all over again...

;->...

Anonymous said...

YES I agree that is the best way! Jack our Lorikeet won't talk to us for a day if we spray him ...

Deb said...

I love that whites ad...used to love that song and brings back memories!

I think that sounds like a great idea (powdering them in the tube...but what about their eyes? Maybe you could pinch the end of the tube and just plop them in rear first, without putting their little faces in. You know, "backing" them in or plopping them in rear first with only enough tube to cover up to their necks (do they have necks?). Just a thought.

RUTH said...

Hi Gleds. Sorry I'm not around much now and thanks for all your visits to my blog. My poor elderly brain doesn't assimilate things very quickly which means my course work takes me hours and hours...in fact days! Hope your solution for 'powdering' the Hammys works ok. Sounds a good idea in principal...bet you'll have fun tempting them through the tubes!
Take care, stay well
Rx

Bimbimbie said...

Good luck with the powder - cats are hard enough to keep from wriggling, but you have got it all worked out with your very own powder machine *!*

That hammie in your photo looks very obliging - sort of saying place powder here! lol

...yes I never noticed, that fungi does look like that mouse ear you mentioned .... I posted more about those cicadas too with photos. Some live in the ground for years*!*

Janice said...

Hi Gled,

That sounds like the plan, and wont hurt to try.

Janice~

Patti said...

Hi Gled, it's Wednesday a.m. here in the states and i'm just checking for a new post. Hope you got the mite thing sorted out.

AintNeverScared said...

I agree, I feel itchy. I think this sounds like a good remedy, and you've given it much good thought. Good luck. If it were my fuzzy baby pet, I would be flipping out!

VE said...

I've heard that Kraftwerk are officially "recluses". Look it up on Wikipedia. They haven't granted interview and even their studio cannot have mail sent to it.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Bloody hell, I am 58 today and I REMEMBER "Right said Fred" and Daz ads!

Poor Robies - agree with you re powder not spray.

Thinking of you and them, Gleds. You are such a kind man.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Bloody hell, I am 58 today and I REMEMBER "Right said Fred" and Daz ads!

Poor Robies - agree with you re powder not spray.

Thinking of you and them, Gleds. You are such a kind man.

Anonymous said...

Oh Dear I'm afraid something has happened to Gledwood and/or Robos!?! Or are you collecting toilet rolls ...

Patti said...

Hi Gleds it's Thursday - Happy VD! Where are you!?

Vincent said...

Gled, have you ever considered that the toiletrolls may be the source of the itching? Certain toiletpapers have funny chemicals (perhaps in the glue) on them or a lot of paper-dust.

When did you start noticing the scratching? Howlong have they had the toiletrolls? Did you change TeePee brand?

Just a thought...

Gledwood said...

Anon: REALLY~?!? Does he sulk that very much just from being sprayed? Oooer!! I had better use the powdery U~bend technique then!!

Debs: I get your point but you really don't need to worry about robos' eyes bc they're desert critters and so have massive eyelashes and are used to dealing with excessive dust/sandstorms etc... they come from the outer reaches of the Gobi desert... see what I mean? When burrowing they automatically close eyes... also imagine if they're BEHIND the one burrowing, back-kicking dirt in the face? They are expert at not getting it in the eyes~~ seriously!

Ruth: What d'you mean your "ELDERLY BRAIN" you are still OK if not a spring chicken then a summer one. OKAY??! ...

... hmmm as for the hammies. Powdering them... yes half the fun WILL be "tempting" them through the tubes... hence the bum-poking chopstick idea!! ;->...

Bimbimbie: the hammy in the photo looks like a Campbells Russian. Unfortunately these are far less wriggly. Robos are designed like a mini Metro or hatchback car... legs positioned like the four wheels and body weight equally proportioned. Excepting Itchy their bodies are equally weighted by all fours which makes them VERY effective wrigglers. They don't NEED to bite they can wriggle free from almost ANYBODY's hold! ;->...

Gledwood said...

Janice: the robopowderingplan? Should work a treat!!

Patti: Not sure WHAT's happening mites wise now... if nothing does I'm getting that antimite/antifungal powder and doing that u-bend thing. I just don't wanna do it for the sake of it tho... know what I mean they are very tiny tubbies who don't appreciate organophosphate pesticides rubbing into their furry furs... ;->...

Aintnever: I didn't even realize anything was wrong until they ALL started itching... now that famous "tea box" is removed and their Itchiness has slightly decreased. I don't wanna treat for the sake of it, but wanna get rid of whatever irritants may be bothering them...

Ve: Kraftwerk "recluses"..? Yeah I've heard that one too ;->...

Gledwood said...

Welshcakes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY... surely that's not such a bad number? 35 is the only one that really got me...

Anon: Collecting toilet rolls? Whacha mean? No! Toilet rolls are robo-burrows! They love 'em!

Patti: What do you mean happy VD? I've never had herpes ~~~ touch wood! ~~~ or gororrhoea! ~~~ or syphillis! ~~~ or HIV ~~~ or anything else!

What on earth is happy VD?

PLEASE EXPLAIN!!!! ;->...

Vincent: They've always had toilet tubes. Without them they would be bereft. No "burrows" to hide in (stick "the pink noses" out of...)... no I'm pretty sure it is NOT an allergy (which causes fur loss and much redness) or anything worse than mild mites/fungus infestation as NO fur loss and only the kind of skin pinkening you would expect from scratching anyhow... thanks for the concern though if you do find out anything more PLEASE TELL ME I need to know as this is such a mystery...

;->...

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it's a psychological thing and the hamsters are not itching but they are grooming. Do you see the hamsters licking their paws first?

Loviatar said...

You can't always see mites. Some rodent mites are so small you would need a good deal of magnification to see it, and some bird mites, too. D. Gallinae, the chicken mite, is generally too small to see and can infest rodents. If you can, you should take it to the vet and see what the vet says.

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I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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