HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.


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I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Furry Friday/Saturday: Rabbits

Bunny rabbits are very cute. They were allegedly introduced to Britain by the Romans who thought they made yummy dinners:

Rabbits do not enjoy being yummy dinners and will hop, skip and ping exceedingly quickly from predators:

Bunnies will breed like, well... rabbits

Baby bunnies are really cute:


Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Nicely illustrated post. By the way, I also liked your pictures of the goldfish to illustrate your last post. Very witty.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Here in Queensland it's illegal to own rabbits and the only ones you'll see are in zoos, and they're the lop eared kind...really cute. But they are such a pest and have done so much damage in other parts of the country. Do you know that we have a rabbit proof fence dividing Queensland from New South Wales and it's some phenomenal length...unfortunately I can't remember what it is.

However, your little bunny is really cute. We have big hares here and my former cat, Oscar, caught one and brought it very proudly home to me. It was a male and almost as big as he was...

Gledwood said...

LoneGrey: oh aye!

PussInBoots: aye, and I heard even HAMSTERS are illegal Down Under: is that true? My Aussie girlf was fascinated by Pandable, a perfectly ordinary Golden Hamster (like my "avatar") cooing, "he's just like a cartoon character!"

ps I think that mating pair were hares but am not sure... (does anyone know?)

Jeannie said...

We've got a lot of bunnies hopping about the neighborhood. Veggie gardeners don't like them much. Our beagle winston loves them to bits. hehehehe

I enjoy rabbit for dinner but rarely is it available at the grocery store.

As for lyme disease and lawns. I'm in Canada - deer ticks aren't a problem here. Lawns here and in the states are indeed grass although due to watering restrictions in our area, people are beginning to look for alternatives.

Akelamalu said...

Aw the baby bunny was just too cute!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. I love this post on bunnies. What great photos! I grew up with rabbit pets. You are right, bunnies DO NOT enjoy being yummy dinners. LOL.

When you get the time, please e-mail me some pictures of your hammies for my new Batardly Pets feature, where I am featuring the pets of friends. My e-mail is: ugadawg1@woh.rr.com

Love ya,


Baino said...

Cute over there maybe but feral over here. The Enlish introduced them for hunting in the early days of the colony and now they're insane pests! They dig holes under my swimming pool and garden shed, they dig holes in the back yard that are big enough to rick you're ankle if you step in one, we had to get a bobcat in to demolish a huge warren in the back paddock before we brought the horses back and the next day . .they'd dug another and they poo on my hay! I hate them. . .really hate them! Damn them for being so cute!

Lesley said...

Awwww, lovely pictures. Yes, rabbits are so cute. :)

I'm not sure about the ones in the mating photo. I know hares have much longer ears than rabbits, but I'm still not sure what the ones in the photo are. Sorry, not much help! :O)

Bimbimbie said...

Psst Gleds ... don't get Baino started on the rabbity rascals LOL ;)

Great news on your new home, I hope the move all goes well, and does this now mean you are finally on the computer and they finally acknowledge you exist*?*

Poor Mother Hubbard :( hope all is well for her*!*

Lesley said...

p.s. You've been tagged! (see my latest post) :)

Janice said...

Oh nice post on bunny habits.

We use to have a big white rabbit named Bunny-bunny bun-bun.


Gledwood said...

Jeannie: I've never tried rabbit and I don't want to. They say it's just like chicken so if it ever was served up I'd just ask for a wing...(!)

Akelamalu: aye, I can just smell countryside off that hot furrrr!!SB: unFORtunately I cannot email said hammies as I no longer have a camera suitable for taking digi snaps. The ones I've used online are cheaty pixx as all robos look the "same"!!

Baino: I know what an IDIOTIC thing to do. That and cane toads: why must peole interfere ???

Also mixxermertosis ~ ditto.

Lesley: I'm pretty sure they're hares ...

Bimbimbie: Don't ask about my existence this might actually wipe me OFF the map, for reasons hitherto unexplained!!

Janice: I used to have a black and white one called Pippa. She used to go for a hop in our kitchen...

nowadays if I went for a rabbit like pet I think I'd get a chinchilla instead a "rabbit from mars"...



Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.

Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!

Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood