ALL I WAS THINKING about this morning was what a strong, fixating hold this heroin drug has over me. I can't think of anything else that comes close.
When I used to smoke crack I always saw it as rubbish and couldn't care whether it was good or bad. It took the dealers a while to pick up that I was extremely discriminating about the one drug (heroin) and could barely care less about the other.
Basically I used crack to jazz up the heroin hit. This is a so-called snowball or speedball. The combination is extremely addictive. When I tried to stop it, heroin alone seemed extremely boring, like a dry old bit of stale bread without butter. Or tea without sugar.
The leaflet I read the other day said that heroin doubles the amount of dopamine in the brain; crack quadrouples it; but heroin and crack together makes a x10 high. THAT explains why it was so hard to give up ~ even though I was still using heroin.
A stupid girl from South London is awaiting trial in a Lao prison for attempting to smuggle a 700g packet into Thailand (and presumably on to the West). If found guilty she faces the firing squad. Good for her! Anything's gotta be better than doing life in a South-East Asian prison...
PS: there are no old junkies? Not at all true. I know loads. Though not a single one would inject in the crook of the arm: that vein is always first to go. These characters have legs like porridge from repeated skinpopping abscesses...
Profiles in Recovery - I will write something "real" soon... but in the mean time there is this. It's "real" but it's recycled. Lol Much love and care to all.... Annette
15 minutes ago