I CLEANED OUT MY GREMLINS INTO A BRAND NEW GREMLINERRY. No more scabby old urine-filled Maltesers tube. Now their quivering pink noses poke out of their granary box and they wouldn't urinate in there on top of their "hamstered" seeds. "Hamster" means in German a "hoarder" which is of course what they do. It always annoys me in some of the hammy books I've perused when they talk about "over-feeding". You cannot over-feed a hamster because anything you give it, it naturally hides in a corner for later. To give less than that is cruelty. And if your hammy's getting over-tubby the cause is wrong food, not too much of it. Of course hamsters of all types will eat almost anything you put before them. Their natural diet is based on grains and seeds with a bit of greenery. But just like human beings they adore cooked meats and greasy foods of all kinds... and luuuurve chocolate. (In the wild all hamsters feast on insects and spiders when they can get them, they also eat carrion i.e. pick the bones from carcases larger animals have caught. My old Campbells Russian hamster used to climb the bars when I brought home fried chicken, he loved picking the bones so much... The key is not to deprive them of these foods but to feed in strict moderation bearing in mind the size of the animal. E.g. a raisin-sized blob of chocolate twice a week does no harm. Chunks and chunks of it probably will do. People can be so thick though. I once saw a case on Rolf Harris' Animal Hospital of a tubby Syrian hamster (you know, the normal gynormous guinea-pig kind - not an egg-sized roborovski like mine...) who had fur like a bad case of taxidermi plus two snaggled twisting fangs poking out of its mouth so badly it could no longer close it. "And what do you feed him?" enquired the veterinary "surgeon".
"Aw!" exclaimed the tubby red-faced toby-jug owner proudly. "'E eats naffink but good old English breakfast: ya know - fried eggs, bacon, sausages, 'ash browns an' fried mushrooms. Awww! 'E loves 'is fried mushrooms!"
So the poor vet had to explained that "rodent" means "nibbler" and if rodents don't get enough hard nibbles their constantly-growing teeth will overshoot their tiny jaws and turn into snaggling rootlike nosferatu monstrosities... Then he expressed surprise that the hamster was still alive after a year of such an unwholesome diet and advised the owner to cut out the fry-ups and purchase a bag of simple hamster mix.
Poor swine! He had to have his teeth clipped without anaesthetic. Hamsters (aparently) don't have nerves in their teeth (as I said they're constantly growing anyway and would naturally constantly be wearing down).
Some people are thick as pigs' doings, aren't they?
I've found a really entertaining Video of the Day:
It's French and Saunders: Whatever Happened to Baby Dawn
Very sinister. Very scarey!
Now I have to run. I've beef sausages to buy (not ukky pork - eurghkhhhkkkchkdslf!)
And forms to fill in that I told the DSS I'd sent back last week.
If they cut my money off I can always commit suicide....
And my friend Dodge's Dad has died... Dodge being Mother Hubbard's "old man" as we say...
His dad was over 90 years old, had a stroke at the weekend... it's all very sad. I couldn't face him this morning, so I'm off to buy a card first.
Take care everyone!
The Archbishop of Canterbury, a learned man who is also, so it seems, a complete sap, has suggested that the age of criminal responsibility in England should be raised from 10 to 16.
Because of this, I've just endured a teeth-gnashingly bad programme, full of BBC liberals called "The Moral Maze" on the topic of "should children be held criminally responsible for their actions?" My own view is: yes; however I think it's ridiculous that the police are now called into schools when in former years the school would just sort out the wicked kids with a sound spanking. Today's (British) children are so badly behaved they are frightening. Americans run back home from London thankful that their own country, awash with guns and violence as it is, still doesn't have children as obnoxious as ours.
Very recently on the news a case came up of a child who had deliberately set fire to a house and burned it down... some idiot came on and tried to claim that at 10 years old (or possibly younger: I can't recall the exact age) a child could not comprehend the consequences of its match-tossing actions.
What has changed over the years? I knew very well aged SIX that matches could burn a house down. I also understood at that age that knives could and did kill and that death was final.
And these people, blinded perhaps by their own stupidity or a training in social work or psychiatry come on and argue that ten year olds cannot comprehend the future consequences of evil actions?
Naughty children love grown-ups like those.
I just wish the ordinary two dragon ladies who populate that radio show had been there to give what-for to the wishywashy dogooders who came on to suggest children don't understand good and evil (so they don't understand Harry Potter books? Or Enid Blyton? Or almost any Hollywood film?) Doesn't almost all fictional entertainment deal with the conflicts of good and evil? And wouldn't such entertainment become almost meaningless to someone without such elementary moral understanding?
What kind of people are RUNNING this planet of ours...?
Let me out of here before I really do scream....
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