SO TIRED AND SLOW AND WEARILY MELANCHOLIC. Deep in the middle of the night, close to 4am. I'm too too weary and not hungry. So I've just turned my slo-stew off. I made an intellectual stew earlier. Splintered neck of lamb. Very well done. Very nice. And I'm very proud of it.
I'm very depressed too. I don't know whether my memoir-writing caused this atack of "low mood" as my drs used to call it. Telling my story, as I've said. It's not only that I feel my life history has denigrated to a form of currency almost; but I have to desensitize myself to it anyhow if I'm to stand up and say "this is the book of my life so far and how I messed it up" - it has to be waters under the bridge. And that's how it IS and HAS BEEN for most of the time. What's made the difference is the necessity not of telling what happened, but of explaining how and why, of weaving the story together and telling consequences. That is something I've never done before because I don't you don't. We think of our lives in floating episodes whereas a book demands a continuous thread of sense. I thought I had become to used to my own story it could not hurt me any more.
The particular section I've been writing is not a section I've particularly pondered, mused, obsessed over. But I'm having to ponder it now. And maybe that's what's new.
All throughout my life from middle childhood I've fought low moods. They are nothing new to me. What I can't believe is that I'm actually letting this hold me back. And stop me from writing. As I said many times before - here's a simple fact about writing. If you want to write a book you simply must have or develop the strength to plough onwards no matter how uninspired or dispirited you may feel. Otherwise it will not get written.
I know all that and yet still I'm half capsized in a rut.
On a lighter note, reading about her Majesty the Queen last night and seeing her tribe of Corgis I realized they are the roborovskis of the dogs world. All looking exactly the same and yet so distinctive in personality. Greedy swines. And mischievous.
I did a nice stew last night. When I first fried up the lamb, real whiffs of pigs' diarrhoea came up. Then I stared at this "lamb" and realized how suspiciously anaemically light pink it was. I nearly puked. "The *******'s sold me pork!" I thought. Then I cooked it on and realized this was not the case. But it had a very narrow escape from being chucked out the window let me tell you. I loathe swineflesh. Ukkgh!!
In the end it came out rather nicely. The recipe is in the "sediment" post below. Don't forget that half a zuccini/courgette. I made dumplings but squeezed them together too much during the mixing process and so they were more like sheeps' eyeballs than proper fluffy Pigsy Delight from Monkey dumplings. The kind that frequently appeared steaming in the wilderness on a golden bowl from nowhere in the cult 70s Japanese TV series...
Right I have to go and put more dumplings on now. The old slo-cooker's been on about 2 hours now so it's probably frazzling the life out of poor yesterdays half-eaten stew!
All the best everyone!!
Vid of the Day:
Hamster Madness Montage... I thought I'd seen all this before in other clips... not the last bit though... hamsters peering at the sky then backflipping? Never seen anything like THAT before!!
Is it true America does not have digital television yet?
I was just reading something about Berlin's switchover, first digital switchover in the world, in 2003 which multiplied the number of digital channels available in that city by digital terrestrial (ie by a rooftop aerial) to 27. This by shutting off all the analogue channels. And yet in this country even Mother Hubbard gets about 30 digital channels thru a freeview set top box plus we have five analogue channels. And yet all our analogue channels are getting shut down in Wales next year and here in London in 3 years' time. So what will happen after switchover? Does this mean we will all have 100 channels free through our aerials? Does anybody know about this? Please tell me.
If you want to read the "German TV is brilliant; American is crap" article, click here...
ps i think it is absolute scandal that the tatty british govt allowed scummy home shopping and 24-7 quiz channels and even pay-per-view to be broadcast over our democratic terrestrial airwaves. That is the true meaning of pirate broadcasting! The government hijacking our signals that ought to be broadcasting high definition David Attenborough documentaries 24 hours! Not kids broadcasting FM radio channels of dance music their local audience WANTS to hear and cannot get on Magic FM
And what a scandal awarding digital franchises to"i_iot ~ name the missing letter by spending £1 a minute on 0898-whatever" moneyprinting channels.
In my dreams!
Hey look I'm leaving comments in Japanese now!!
私の日本の良い一日をお友達に言えば！私が見つかりましたブログを、インターネット上で非常にランダムにします。私の日本の良いことではありませんので私はと言えばカンニングを介してgoogleの翻訳！それはどのように私はこれらの言葉を書くことを、日本を今すぐ！ただ言いたかったことをブログには本当に面白いと少しして、友達のように見えるマイケルジャクソン1980年代後半にします。 （しかし、このように優れた方法！ ）とにかく来て私のブログにする必要があります。私の秘密日記を読むことができますが、オンラインで徹底的に楽しませました。 http://gledwood2.blogspot.comは、その場所に！すぐに私の希望で会いましょう！すべてのベストになります。よりgledwood "Vol 2 " ;->...
(It is still one of my biggest dreams to learn to speak read and write Japanese. When I am rich I will get a Mac notebook loaded with Rosetta Stone software. I find the Japanese people and their culture fascinating... (everything except Japanese food in fact!))
Wonderful Rouen Pictures
Shall I use this as my new avatar for a while?
Enchanting Indonesia Pixx
Amazing Tibet Pictures
Postcards from the World - Ireland
http://madridquebec.blogspot.com - does anyone know what the huge building, 2nd photo from bottom is (this one)? And where precisely it is? Wow. It's amazing. I'd love to have a house like that, wouldn't you??
I love banal pictures of everyday scenes from foreign lands. This one depicts an American supermarket checkout.
You couldn't make it up! Read this letter from an American local council to a local landowner of two "debris"-blockaded streams...
See the cocaine up Amy Winehouse's nose!
AARGH! Gotta get a lid for that slow cooker! I came back after three hours of "letting it mull" as I thought it was doing. No! It was not mulling at all.
ALL water had evaporated through the gap where the illfitting frying pan failed to cover as lid. Said stew was dried out, ashy and smelling of burning plastic.
I still threw cold water on it, picked off the black bits and ate it with fresh dumplings though.
Waste not want not - hey!!
Did the earth move for you? - 'I thought our new loft conversion was collapsing.' 'I thought a car had crashed into the front of the office.' Two of the comments from FaceBook friends fo...
11 hours ago