AN EVIL POLICEMAN THREATENED TO ARREST ME, pour my drinks down the drain and fine me £500 all for the "crime" of having visited an off-licence (liquor store) in an "alcohol control zone". He was incredibly rude to me and I remembered just what the police can be like when they're not being filmed in the presence of an "old bill" PR officer for one of those Cops and Robbers documentaries on television. (I've had that little to do with them of late...)
He never actually physically accosted me, merely yelled at me across the road on Mother Hubbard's street. When I pointed out that none of my cans were in fact even open, let alone being "imbibed" he climbed down a little and said, "Well let's keep it that way, eh?" and off I trundled.
The lady police officer in his company said not a word during this entire encounter. Perhaps she was too embarrassed. And the poor policeman. He was probably just trying to impress his girlfriend...
... Back at the house Mother Hubbard told me "You do look like a street drinker, I'm sorry to say it."
Really? I know I'm a bit scruffy but...?
Yes, really. She insisted. And then apologized for telling the truth, as us English are wont to do ...
I WAS FAR TOO UPSET TO POST ANY OF THIS YESTERDAY BUT THAT ITCHY ESCAPED yet again yesterday... (I should point out that she's not breaking out of her nest; she's jumping down from my arms during her daily out-of-the-cage ramble...) I told myself I really could not be bothered worrying too much about her being AWOL as I trust her to come back. Which she finally did over 24 hours later!
Last night I spotted her whizzing across my floor like a turbo-powered pom-pom. Far too fast for my 4am bleary consciousness (did you know BBC World Service radio have a newsreader called Bleary Gogan. Who on earth would name their newborn babe "Bleary"~?!?
Anyway about a half hour later I witnessed an evil wild sewer-mouse sneaking from the gap between some shelving and the wall... which thoroughly impressed on me just how tiny and tubby Itchy is compared to the common housemouse. And probably faster on her feet. It was a real rigmorole when I finally did capture her. Chasing her up and down the full length of the room four times. Throwing an Indian teeshirt over her in mid-ping. She jumped out of the teeshirt. I threw it down again, this time wrapping her up in tight custody. And only unwrapped her over the robotank. Which she took to pinging up and down and maniacally running her wheel most forcefully and causing thorough disturbance amongst the other two who poked out their pink noses and did the robo-kiss-kiss thing which is their greeting. A more severe greeting is pink nose to pink nose kiss-kiss and then one overpowers the other to a capsized furry bundle and forcefully grooms her tubby frame...
Well that's that! Itchy's exercise regime is under judicial review, like an escaping murderer's. I think she might have to be confined to rambling a large plastic box for variety. Then coming back to the glass box where she lives... poor swine!
OLIVER TWIST'S ALL DONE AND DUSTED! It really is quite a good book. And nowhere near as dull as Bleak House, I have to say! I heartily recommend it. And now I'm onto Anna Karenina. Which unfortunately being a £1.50 (brand new price!) budget classic has an enormous amount of information on each printed line which somehow wearies the eye.
But it is a great story fantastically told.
I've "read" it three or four times already... and somehow (never through boredom, only through personal upheavals of varying types) never managed to plough more than half through it. I shall let you know how I get on!
HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN is on BBC1 tonight (Brits only I'm afraid... well rather obviously unless you can miraculously pirate into BBC1 satellite feeds halfway across the world...) Excellent stuff!!
10:58 PM And her Majesty's latest docusoap instalment came to an end about an hour ago... Events included an Irish lady getting over-excited about personally meeting her maj at the Royal Garden Party (of thousands of guests at this annual event, only 100 are personally introduced to the Queen). Then she was due to be opening the new Arsenal football stadium, yet had to pull out at the last moment due to a bad back. I think they said it was only the fifth time this had ever happened. Poor Ma'am she must have been in agony to have done that, as usually duty comes far ahead of her personal comforts. The manager, who had been telling the camera how great it was to be that Ma'am was coming was so incredibly gutted he really looked like he was going to cry. But the Duke of Edinburgh (Ma'am's husband) saved the day. He is probably my second favourite royal after the Queen - a tie with Prince Charles. I was in a bad mood with Prince Charles the other week after finding out he (allegedly) reads NONE of his personal mail. Employing instead a team of professional letter-openers with posh accents to read and answer everything for him! I thought this was incredibly rude. But not as rude as most Hollywood stars, I suppose; many of whom would like to think they are royalty. Write to them and they'll never reply at all! I suppose this correspondence thing touched a nerve with me because when my brother and I were quite small and recouperating from scarlet fever, our Mum gave us midnight blue sugar paper upon which we painted some fantastic Bonfire Night November 5th fireworks in metallic poster paints. These we sent off to her Majesty at Buckingham Palace. Not long later I was astonished when my Mum told me we'd both got letters (and very posh letters indeed on crested paper) from Ma'am's lady-in-waiting telling us how delighted the Queen was with our "drawings" and how touched that we'd troubled to send them to her.
Sophie, Countess of Wessex (wife of Prince Edward, the Queen's youngest son) had a baby boy today, the Queen and Prince Philip's eighth grandchild!
Right I shall stop blithering on about the Queen now. Only suffice it to say remember everybody next week's instalment's on Sunday night, not Monday!
Here's some wonderful Brazilian surfing pictures. Man! That emerald sea!!
Some striking modern photography from Sweden ...
See a German canoeing down an eight foot drop ....
Some really entertaining Chinese supermarket snapshots!...
AWAY IN AMSTERDAM - Tomorrow I am going to Amsterdam to be the body guard of nearly 7 year old grandson Toby. It is about time that I leave home for a few days because I think...
1 day ago