WELL IT'S A RAINY FURRY AFTERNOON. All my gremlins are dozing in their toilet tubes. The parmesan box still stinks of wee-wee.
Very weary indeed I am. Extremely weary. And tired. And just wanting to go sleep and sleep for hours.
Three dreams I've had I can remember. Dream one: with a staffordshire bull terrier in a council house urban park with railways running underneath. I'm throwing a frisbee to a magnificently over-eager fit doggie who charges around. (Haven't a clue what this dream means.) Dream two: Me looking into my eyes in mirror. My pupils are heavily dilated. Maybe I've taken ecstasy or am in withdrawals but my eyes look like dinner plates. This dream kind of came on contextless at the end of the night before last... no idea why... Dream three: a horror dream. Being chased by people round my old school which had lots of internal miniquads (you know, interior tiny gardens to let light into classrooms... they were so tiny and barely EVER opened up. Just weed ridden. Never saw anybody go in there. Which I was wondering about in my dream until somebody who was stalking me chased me into the dreamers' laundrette. And then I was persuaded INSIDE a washing machine. And then my evil pursuer SHUT THE DOOR ON ME!!! I woke up feeling suffocated... ugh! That was a nasty one.
Boney M's River's of Babylon is still going round my head after yesterday's posting as song of the day...
Nottalotmoretosay... my head is spinning. Pricking needles into my legs this morning (lovely heroin). Baby Itchy bleary headed emerging from toilet tube upon my cries of "come out you fat pink nose!" then running 21 to the dozen on the wheel like a pinging tubby fieldfragrant smell of fresh corn mousie. Her furr has the most wondrous smell when she is fresh and has not been sleeping in her own wee (the swine!)... as I say, like fresh fields in summer...
Before I go I must ask you: has everyone heard the canoist scandal?!? The Sun newspaper's cartoonist portrayed it best... a man paddling rapidly against a craggy gorge with "SH*T CREEK" on a huge sign... leafery growing over the letter "i"... two leering policemen holding up the poor man's paddle!
Basically this man, a keen champion canoist, went to see one day five years ago never to return. He hauled himself into a police station on Saturday saying he "might be reported missing" and "could not remember anything at all from the past five years" (how then did he know he might be reported missing? and what made him hand himself in to police if he'd done nothing wrong? if I were in an innocent situation like that I'd go straight back to my family. Police would be the last thing on my mind...) Anyway, it turns out his wife had recently emigrated to Panama. Sold up their house, everything and vanished out there. PLUS following an open but favourable coroner's verdict on his "death"... she claimed on his life insurance! Then one of the newspapers dredges up a photo of man and wife together IN PANAMA - last year!
The scandal deepens!
The man is under arrest now.
His buck-teethed wife is avoiding the bloodthirsty British press like the living pox...
... and I'm sure this will end in twice as many tears as have already been shed...
PS Slight exaggeration of my reportage on HM the Queen throwing sticky buns at her corgis yesterday. However it IS true that she has lots of cakes delivered that she never touches (just feeds to her dogs...)
Have a nice day everyone!
Videos of the Day:
Puppies Discovering the World Aged 7 Weeks
Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand: You'll Never Know
PS Dolly Parton's literacy project came to the UK yesterday for a launch in the (fairly obscure) Yorkshire town of Rotherham!
Japan Advertisement Special!
German-speaking person's Spanish Buildings Blog
They're well worth a look!
Here's an Argentinian island that is not chilly windswept and freezing cold like the Argentine-claimed "Malvinas" (Falklands).
Top Irish model Katy French, who had admitted to "doing cocaine" has died after an illness that left her comatose in hospital for the past four days. The model star of the RTE series Celebrities Go Wild was 24 years old.
BTW I got this info originally from the BBC's most "respectable" news prog, Radio 4's news at midnight. "Celebrities Go Wild" is nothing to do with partying, chainsmoking drunken beautiful people. It's a group of Irish models, singers actors type people surviving in the remote rocky storm-tost coastline of Connemara!
Staying at the Palace - Most of my holidays were spent in a caravan in Port Eynon on Gower. It belonged to a friend of my mum's who let us use it for a week a year. [image: Regent...
55 minutes ago