MY FRIEND ANNA GRACE is doing gym membership stuff. She does this thing when you can use a step machine or other machine at a cinema, while watching a movie! That is so American!
So I decided instead of getting laughed out of the boxing club I was going to go swimming. I have about 2 stone I want to lose. That's about 14kg or 28 lbs. An unsympathetic doctor (ooo where you gonna find one of those?! Try a prison. Try a drug clinic!) one of them they'd tell me I'm ideal weight. Bullshit I am I'm overweight I hate having any fat on me so I have to do Water Torture x3 a week. I looked up the prices. Without a special card it costs £6 with a bus or about £5.50 at the really posh one or about £3.80 at the less posh one. I was going to walk there to use up more calories. If I can eat one meal divided in three and cut alcohol out I should be able to lose weight despite antipsychotics. I know this sounds OTT but you have to be strict. One meal means a BIG meal, about 1500 calories. I can easily survive on that much. Most of the population of the world eats between 1000 and 1500 calories a day. I've been to India and eaten with the natives. I know.
Risperidone like most atypical antipsychotics causes weight gain and everyone says I look fat. Not that they use that word. They say I put on weight since January when I had that breakdown and literally exhausted myself so bad I felt physically sick from exhaustion. If I could keep up a level of activity I could get really thin and lithe. Last thing I want to be is that steroidal look. I want the karate-type look.
I would quite like to go swimming while in my "elevated mood" that would be fantastic.
Exercise always makes my mood go higher. I need to sort this shit out. I'm less scared of going swimming than I am of going into town and buying paints. Paints are stressful. Swimming I've done endless times before and it's the only sport I genuinely like.
OK so remind me in 3 weeks time I said I'M NEVER GOING SWIMMING IN LONDON. EVER. NEVER EVER GOING.
If I say that then I'll definitely go. I only make resolutions these days to break them... ha ha ha!
0420 OK I don't know how much weight I wanna lose or how fit I want to be but I wanna do something and swimming is it
Time for bed - I had written a post for today in my head and I don't think I have time to write it now. Which is strangely coincidental as my post was going to be about s...
9 hours ago