I glanced over the bullshit I have written over only FOUR DAYS.
Did I really think it showed strength of character to kill myself? Why do I say these things.
Then I want to switch to a drug I know will make me suffer. While it makes me cleaner. Subutex is amazing. But only for those truly ready to be clean.
Now I want to be a poet (and don't I know it).
Today I am waiting for a misery bag. Yes high grade shit is coming my way.
Last week I got a couple of free samples, one was amazing. It knocked me out, literally. I didn't blog it as I was in such depression, the heroin barely cut through.
So this is me, still lost. If I were somebody else I should be sorry for myself. But I can't pity myself. That is too indulgent.
And here we are. I'm on basic German lessons via teach yourself, to patch up the gaps in my knowledge.
And waiting, waiting, waiting on the Joy Man to show his face and a little bag of powder costing £20.
Wherever you are have a nice day. And don't pity me or yourself. Pity doesn't pay the rent and it doesn't feed you. It is a waste of love.
McMannWeb best schizoaffective page I've found so far