Spiders

I SLEPT LIKE A BABY: twelve hours flat last night. I took risperidone early in two halves it works better that way. Now I just wanna go back to bed I'm too tired and I have to go to this awful appointment this afternoon where people will look at me. I'm so much not up for that. Being judged and appraised. People are like tarantulas. You look at the weird eight eyed thing that BITES YOU and know it is thinking. Probably thinking about how much it would love to BITE YOU. Thats what people are like. Funnel Webs.

Here is a picture of an Australian Mouse Spider. They're called mouse spiders because they live in burrows like mice. Aren't they cute? Those big tarantulas always remind me of hamsters. All furry and cute.

You see everything I'm afraid of I also love. Well most things. The Devil might be an exception. I would quite like to do that phobia therapy where you have a bloody great spider walk up your arm. I wouldn't let it walk over the palm of my hand but my arm is fine. Back of my hand is fine. They're so enormous they have to bunch up so as not to fall off.

Did you know there are only three spiders in the world that can actually kill you? How depressing [or non-depressing, come to think of it] is that. I was hoping any poisonous bite and SLAM! on the floor. Like Cleopatra with her asp. She had to really get that snake going before it bit her, apparently. And they brought special venom suckers to suck at her tit, to get the poison out. Never worked did it. Clever girl probably got 2 bites one on a hand one on her breast and those kinky Romans were so distracted by her mammaries they didn't notice the other one that killed her.

You know the Cleopatra film misses out the sucking out bit, the best bit of the story. That film is amazing I've seen it six times. Now I have to go out and get something for breakiefast. Take care and if you're in Asutralia don't let any mouse spiders in your house!

Illustrated: mouse spider; Cleopatra from an Egyptian coin

1812 hrs: Cleopatra: end of the movie