WELL IT'S A RAINY FURRY AFTERNOON. All my gremlins are dozing in their toilet tubes. The parmesan box still stinks of wee-wee.
Very weary indeed I am. Extremely weary. And tired. And just wanting to go sleep and sleep for hours.
Three dreams I've had I can remember. Dream one: with a staffordshire bull terrier in a council house urban park with railways running underneath. I'm throwing a frisbee to a magnificently over-eager fit doggie who charges around. (Haven't a clue what this dream means.) Dream two: Me looking into my eyes in mirror. My pupils are heavily dilated. Maybe I've taken ecstasy or am in withdrawals but my eyes look like dinner plates. This dream kind of came on contextless at the end of the night before last... no idea why... Dream three: a horror dream. Being chased by people round my old school which had lots of internal miniquads (you know, interior tiny gardens to let light into classrooms... they were so tiny and barely EVER opened up. Just weed ridden. Never saw anybody go in there. Which I was wondering about in my dream until somebody who was stalking me chased me into the dreamers' laundrette. And then I was persuaded INSIDE a washing machine. And then my evil pursuer SHUT THE DOOR ON ME!!! I woke up feeling suffocated... ugh! That was a nasty one.
Boney M's River's of Babylon is still going round my head after yesterday's posting as song of the day...
Nottalotmoretosay... my head is spinning. Pricking needles into my legs this morning (lovely heroin). Baby Itchy bleary headed emerging from toilet tube upon my cries of "come out you fat pink nose!" then running 21 to the dozen on the wheel like a pinging tubby fieldfragrant smell of fresh corn mousie. Her furr has the most wondrous smell when she is fresh and has not been sleeping in her own wee (the swine!)... as I say, like fresh fields in summer...
Before I go I must ask you: has everyone heard the canoist scandal?!? The Sun newspaper's cartoonist portrayed it best... a man paddling rapidly against a craggy gorge with "SH*T CREEK" on a huge sign... leafery growing over the letter "i"... two leering policemen holding up the poor man's paddle!
Basically this man, a keen champion canoist, went to see one day five years ago never to return. He hauled himself into a police station on Saturday saying he "might be reported missing" and "could not remember anything at all from the past five years" (how then did he know he might be reported missing? and what made him hand himself in to police if he'd done nothing wrong? if I were in an innocent situation like that I'd go straight back to my family. Police would be the last thing on my mind...) Anyway, it turns out his wife had recently emigrated to Panama. Sold up their house, everything and vanished out there. PLUS following an open but favourable coroner's verdict on his "death"... she claimed on his life insurance! Then one of the newspapers dredges up a photo of man and wife together IN PANAMA - last year!
The scandal deepens!
The man is under arrest now.
His buck-teethed wife is avoiding the bloodthirsty British press like the living pox...
... and I'm sure this will end in twice as many tears as have already been shed...
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PS Slight exaggeration of my reportage on HM the Queen throwing sticky buns at her corgis yesterday. However it IS true that she has lots of cakes delivered that she never touches (just feeds to her dogs...)
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Have a nice day everyone!
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Videos of the Day:
Puppies Discovering the World Aged 7 Weeks
Streisand: Moonfall
Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand: You'll Never Know
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PS Dolly Parton's literacy project came to the UK yesterday for a launch in the (fairly obscure) Yorkshire town of Rotherham!
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Japan Advertisement Special!
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German-speaking person's Spanish Buildings Blog
They're well worth a look!
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Here's an Argentinian island that is not chilly windswept and freezing cold like the Argentine-claimed "Malvinas" (Falklands).
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Thailand
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Top Irish model Katy French, who had admitted to "doing cocaine" has died after an illness that left her comatose in hospital for the past four days. The model star of the RTE series Celebrities Go Wild was 24 years old.
BTW I got this info originally from the BBC's most "respectable" news prog, Radio 4's news at midnight. "Celebrities Go Wild" is nothing to do with partying, chainsmoking drunken beautiful people. It's a group of Irish models, singers actors type people surviving in the remote rocky storm-tost coastline of Connemara!
15 hours ago
22 comments:
The Dolly Parton Literacy Project?
I'm fer it!
I think more Country & Western stars should go to England and teach English people how to read good and spell English words more better.
I read about the canoeist in the Canadian smut newspaper...funny enough called The Sun (and before you tell me I gather it's owned by the same print mogul). It was an insurance scam, however, it does make for a good story.
Dolly Parton literacy programme in England....finally ya'll will learn how to talk properly ;)! I think more of the world should incorporate "awesome" into their everday vernacular, it covers so much....
And before I go....keep this in mind....
This is your brain (close eyes and picture frying pan). This is your brain on drugs (close eyes and picture egg cracked into frying pan previously pictured in your mind's eye). K, now don't do em.
Have a good un'
ZenWizz: Dolly's Daddy couldn't read nor write at all, so she tells. That's why she loves the smell and touch of books so much... (didn't say nothin' about readin' 'em..!)
Eileen: aaargh has Rupert Murdoch invaded over there too~?!?
How comes he only buys papers in English speaking countries ?? Is it because he wants to read self-flattering articles about himself and his other businesses? me asks me self ...
that canoest story is ridiculous! What did he do, have a fight with his wife, and thought he'd do her in for fraud, along with himself? twat.
I wasn't aware of that factoid--
I guess she makes a good spokesperson, then...
My dad was three hours away from a master's degree, and hers was illiterate.
Now I have an 820-square foot apartment and she has a whole town named after her, so go figure!
Hi there! Thanks for visiting my blog. In fact, I am not on the Malvinas. I am in the Patagonian Andes, in a place called San Martín de los Andes. I am an English-Spanish translator and I am a fan of nature, the English language and musicians such as Sir David Gilmour and the Beatles. You are welcome to come along whenever you feel like it. I will certainly be visiting you quite often. It's very nice to meet you!
There is a song by Billy Childish that references Rupert Murdoch - I think it is entitled Joe Strummer's Grave - try and find it - pretty "awesome".
Hey Gleds! Every time I stop by you have, like, 12 new blogs going! Man, you ain't never gonna get that memoir done at this pace!! :)
I read that story. Amazing what people will do huh?
Stay well my friend.
Vi Vi: I wonder I wonder why on earth would she move out there 6 weeks ago then he returns NOW to say he's been "missing" 5 years I seriously don't get it. Maybe they found they couldn't live together "alive" after all ??
Zen Wizz: Hmmm.
Lucy int Sky: No no I knew it was NOT the malvinas bc they are very bleak like the shetland islands! Looks very nice where you are though I have never heard of San Martin de los Andes !
Eileen: the name rings a bell... it is to do with MURDOCH~??? O, ok it references him. Still pretty odd
Dan: I know I probably never shall finish them at this rate I got so depressed by my own life while I was last writing them...
Alexis F: I can't wait to find out what really happened chez the canoists...
Speaking of Boney M... they had some of the funniest album covers ever!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Boney_M._-_Love_For_Sale_%281977%29.jpg
Hi Gleds, just popped in see how your going. Good on Dolly, Oh I dont know what dreams maen but after those you must have woken feeling washed out, take good care..
Hi Gleds ~~ We heard the story of the missing canoeist turning up. Sounds suspicious. I hope you don't continue to have those weird dreams.
The thing on my nose is possibly a skin cancer, so I hope this last lot gets rid of it. I presume your warts didn't return after being frozen off?
Take care, Regards, Merle.
Nicole: yeah! Thanks! And did you know only one of them sang? Even though all 4 are depicted doing so on stage... also they were meant to be the only disco era group to have Soviet-side success (¬)(!)(!)
Jeanette: knackered, yeah!
Merle: are you talking about "rodent ulcer" the very slow skin cancer? I hope it is not melanoma, surely! The warts> definitely not! Never returned again after getting frozen off. Take care Merle
have a cheery weekend everyone!
Can you still write after taking heroin? How long does the effect last. (No, I'm not considering it...) ;-(
O yeah you can once you get a certain immunity or tolerance to it... the main effect is meant to last 4 hours. The residual effect lasts 12 hours which means 12 hours is the longest most addicts would go between fixes.
It CAN knock you unconscious, but more often you just feel a lot better. As if you could inject a good meal, 2 double brandies and an evening by a crackling fire in pharmaceutical form ...
;->... (sad but true)
Hi Gled, If I dont get a chance to visit you again before I leave to Oz, I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas! Hope you have a good one!.
The Queen's dogs get better fed than I do it seems! I'm jealous! I want one of those yummy cakes.
Ye British are most possessive and protective of those Falklands aren't u?
Ah yes the canoeist and his wife - not very clever were they! Apparently she was due back in England today and will be arrested for fraud!
Vi Vi: Have a great time followin' that yellow brick road! O! You mean OzTRALIA. OK have a fantastic time there too
Wat: o yeah they are the only bits of faraway rock we got LEFT man
Akelamalu: I know. Tomorrow morning's news I guarantee you it'll be the first item. "She was arrested getting off plane from Panama..."
Yes, everyone's following the Darwin case in amazement here. What a horrible pair they are.
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