CURRY DISASTER ALERT! Yeah, how predictable. The curry came out DIRE. First I fried up onion and garlick in specially purchased cooking oil (not marge I was trying to be posh today) - to this I added about three heaped teaspoons Chinese Five Spice. Now fivespice DOES have the "secret Chinese curry ingredient" I'm after... but at least one ingredient (namely CLOVES) I did NOT want. So I attained this weird mentholated stirfry. Chucked in cornflour and made into a professional-looking "trotting" sauce. So I decided it needed something more. Mr Brown's Jamaican curry was pretty useless so I went out and bought a tub of garam masala. No! The cumin was overpowering and again something totally wrong in it. Chinese takeaway curry is definitely cumin-free. So all in all I ended up with purple chicken stir-fry (from my red onions) and to add insult to injury I sweated about 85% of these spices out in the night making me pong of a second hand currywagon. Ukk!
Second head-do-inner was my dealer who "kindly" offered me crack on "trust". (Ie buy now have knife at throat when can't pay later (joke!) but I'm averse to running up debts with such persons...) I turned him down flat and walked off. Then spent the next hour regretting this and fantasizing about white smoke and ear-whooshing highs (not that I've truly had one of those for quite some time...)
In despair I crawled back to bed and fell into deep sleep where every aspect of my "life" was played out in varying images, like tiles on the bathroom wall...
... and that's about all I've got to say for today.
...Don't worry though. I know the secret of Chinese curry is almost within my grasp. If EVERY Chinese takeaway the up and down of this small island can produce curry sauce with near-identical flavour the secret behind it cannot be too obscure.
I shall prevail!
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23 comments:
FIRST!
I know that's a stupid thing to post, and that's percisely why I keep doing it.
Don't worry, I'll grow up one day and stop doing that.
Then again, I might just grow up and keep the habit, because why shouldn't I? :D.
Curry? Where?
I ate curry noodles so many times last year I think it'll be a long while before I can enjoy noodles again. If ever.
Chinese curry is utterly inimitable by the British "cook" and MUST be cracked just like the great ancient Silk Secret and passed to ordinary British Westerners to spice up their diets!!
Why is it that the British love curry the way that they do? Isn't tika massala Britain's national dish now? Hmmmmm, interesting Very interesting.
My mother began dating this loser when I was 15 (and still is). The only thing that he had in his apartment was his crusty roomate and a poster on his wall with a dude in the outhouse (on the toilet) and a caption underneath that said "Don't do crack". Maybe you need one ;)
Side note: I am not refering to you as a loser *shoves foot further down throat* Awmahgawd never mind...I am making a tasteless crack pseudo joke that isn't even funny. Apparently I am the loser. Apologies too much coffee. I am going home now.
Take Care
Yes (chicken) tikka masala is the second national dish for sure. It's definitely before fish and chips (far too gooey) but I'd say after Sunday lunch roast beef with Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, seasonable vegetables, cauliflour cheese (if available) and lashings of gravy haha!
no offence taken but tell me was he PIPING on the toilet?
or what was he doing?
you mean shitting outta the crack of his arse>?
... or where did crack come into it..
??
great week
I'm wimpy when it comes to making curried dishes. I end up going to a fabulous restaurant owned and operated by a family from India when I want a good curried dish. When I want boring curry I make it myself. Not sure why I'm not better at it. I like Chinese curried cuisine too but my favorites are some of the Indian dishes.
Well, I am so proud of you Gleds!! First for turning down the crack dealer ... that took an amount of strength to do I think and second for your determination on your quest to perfect Chinese curry in your kitchen!! If I knew how you made those little stars, I would leave some for you today!!
Gled, wow, I totally forgot about you. I stopped blogging awhile ago and started vlogging on youtube. So I guess that means I'm done with my blog for a while.
To me all curry is a disaster but that's just me. I know you will prevail.
Have you tried with 八角 (ba jiao), star anise? We used it quite a bit (you asked me last time).
However, I must admit we usually pick up a bunch of spices at Chinatown and give it a shot... usually it's pretty good. But I don't have a precise recipe.
Oh, and add bamboo shots, really good.
A true seeker! If it was me, I would just abduct the chef from the nearest chinese restaurant and demand the secret in exchange for his/her safe release.
Gled, Know that when you write about turning down the dealer, that there is loud applause from all your fans! You are a star when you say no.
Good Thai green curry is my favorite.
Hi Gleds ~~ Congrats on trying to cook the curry you like, and big congrats on saying No to the dealer.Now if you did that more often, your life would change for the better.Thanks for your comment although you sounded a bit down when you posted them. Don't give up ~~ There is always hope for things to get better.
No I don't even think of giving up, and neither should you. We all get down at times, but everything looks better the next day. Just hang on until you feel better, my friend.
Do take care, Those robos need you.
Cheers, Merle.
Yeah, the poster was a result of dim witted humour of the toilet type. Arse = crack. Nevermind.
When I go over there in April with my better half, I am going into a pub on a Sunday to have roast dinner. I wouldn't feel like I've really done everything I've wanted to in England if I didn't. That, and i would really like to recreate the final scene in Quadrophenia where he throws the scooter off the cliff, seeing as my boyfriend is from Brighton it should be easy enough to arrange. Finally, since I was a child I have been facinated with the life atop the roofs of London, ever since seeing Mary Poppins, soooo..... ;)
Ramble on. Have a good weekend.
Chic-H: not THAT great
Carver: I'm like you. No confidence. "The restaurant does it better" but I am determined to crack their secrets if it KILLS ME!!
Kahshe: Those stars I took off someone else's comment! Just highlight them in blue then control C and control V to put down again... that is all I did I haven't a clue what the ASCII/other code for them is..!
1-treeplanted: blogging on youtube? You mean you speaking LIVE to camera? wow!
Jan: Curry is sposedly the national dish here: I opted to learn "Chinese" cookery over Indian 1st as Chinese you can eat every day of the week... Indian would get a bit overpowering!
Zhu: I am zeroing in on that precise recipe if it bloody kills me I shall find it!
Kyknoord: that is a Cape Dutch name? sounds like it...
Re recipe: you know the Chinese: "inscrutible" to a T
Steve: but I have to say it wasn't until this morning when ALL would have been gone including the traces I would have put on my heroin spoon that I truly felt any "empowerment"
Merle: I am glad you sound positive despite everything I wish I could have some of your strength
Eileen: Mary Poppins is "storming" the London stage... (or is it sound of music? I forget)... I just love that huge plant coming out of the bag... remember?
I'm so proud of you - you sent the dealer packing! You should feel proud of yourself too. x
I'm tryin'...
Well done, gleds, on not buying on 'trust'.
You will find the answer (to the Chinese curry)! You are so determined.
I made lamb roghan josh/jalfrezi last night (with Patak's curry pastes). Left to cook slowly for about 3 hours, it was yummy.
I would love to learn cooking Indian curries next
only not quite now my belly could not tolerate it!!
I would love to learn cooking Indian curries next
only not quite now my belly could not tolerate it!!
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