HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.


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I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Perfect Fried Rice Recipe

I'M BECOMING A REAL WHIZZ AT COOKING the old basmati rice... plus I don't need boil int' bag any more. I've even come up with my own superwhizzy "Chinese pilau" recipe for fried rice. It's NOT pilau, just a Chinese near-equivalent...

Here's the recipe.
You will need:
Basmati rice
Lea & Perrins Worcester sauce
Egg (optional)
Frying oil
Monosodium glutamate (near-essential in my opinion but healthfreaks profess not to like it...)
Light soy sauce

Take a small straight glass drinks tumbler approx 300mls. Fill just under one third full with rice. This will be enough to serve one person.
Add one teaspoon paprika, one large pinch of pepper and one large pinch of MSG to the rice. Fill tumbler with water (you need about 220 mls water to 100mls rice) and empty into a small saucepan. Add two or three generous dashes Lea and Perrins to the water. Cover; put on a high heat until boiling. Once boiling, turn the heat to low and cook for 10-12 minutes. When the rice is done ALL the water will be gone. If you're more used to the "chuck as much water as possible and cook until rice practically disintegrating" traditional British method, don't panick. It won't burn or even stick if you get the time right. At the bottom of the pan there should be no more than a slight dampness. If any water remains it needs more cooking. Once rice is done, turf out on to a plate, add two more pinches MSG and keep uncovered in fridge for half an hour to an hour to let it dry off a bit.
Then, when you're ready, stir fry anything else you wish to add. Personally I love chicken fried rice; but when I have chicken I don't add eggs. Somehow it seems slightly gross to eat chicken and eggs in the same dish ~ know what I mean? Fry the rice on a high heat for about five minutes. Assuming you're not having chicken, egg fried rice is really whizzy. All you do is hollow the fried rice into a hollow or "well" in the pan or wok. Into this "well" crack an egg (one egg per one or two people if cooking for more). Bash it up immediately with a fork as if scrambling and add a couple of dashes Lea and Perrins directly to the egg. This really perks it up, trust me. Allow the egg to half scramble ~ you know by scratting it about a bit as it fries up ~ then quickly fold it into the rice and cook for another two or three minutes until thoroughly done... and presto! ~ perfect fried rice!

... and today's video: American wild pika ...

ps: forgot to make clear... for egg is best added to fried rice WITHOUT additional stirfry (ie remove it from pan)... and the egg, once folded in is best cut up, turned, stirred etc... makes a wonderful integral dish with the rice in little clumps... ideal for the chopsticks-user~!


dr sardonicus said...

I tend to agree, the egg doesn't work so well with chicken, but it works better with pork or shrimp.

MSG is said to cause cancer, so i try to avoid it. I probably get my share when I'm at my favorite Chinese restaurant, though.

Thanks for stopping by Pole Hill!

Nicole said...

You're becoming quite the chef. I always thoroughly enjoy your cooking posts!

Vincent said...

Doing alright mate. Ever thought of becoming a cook somewhere?

molson said...

Great video of the alpine pingers.

Merle said...

Hi Gleds ~~ Good on you for your cooking efforts and recipes. Eating
right is so important. You are a man of many talents!! So you are not an ice cream fan. I must admit, I prefer the Chinese Curried Chicken myself.Thanks for your kind words in comments and you explained very well about your addiction and how intellectual rationalization doesn't work. And thank you for understanding about the joke.
I have a grand-daughter living in Geelong and it is about 2 1/2 hours
away from me. It is a large city and a very nice one right on the bay. I have been there many times.
I am glad Mother Hubbard liked it.
Take great care, my friend. Warm
regards, Merle.

Deb said...

I like that you like cooking.

Now you've made me hungry at....wait a minute......1:20 am. Hmmm, time for bed.

Your rice sounds great.

lettuce said...

i'm going to have a go at this fried rice soon

i've been cooking rice with this fish-eye method for a while now - that traditional british too-much-water way of cooking it is so rubbish.

i tried brown basmati rice the other day -healthfreakery an' all that - and i was surprised that it wasn't as heavy and splodgy as i'd remembered.... it wasn't that much diff. from white basmati

except more expensive of course. Healthy for the wealthy

lettuce said...

just been watching your vids...

those pikees are very springy sprongy! and fab exciteable whiskers


Jeanette said...

Hi Gleds.. thats easy recipe to follow but i would have to add the egg and leave out the MSG as allergic to it..when I go to Chinese I have to ask no Msg...
Btw thanks for your nice comment on about Australia day... take cre look after yourself... Jen

Arjan said...

what is MSG exactly cause it doesn't ring any bells at all (being as green as possible).

Gledwood said...

Sardonicus: msg CANCER??!? you're joking right?? I thought it was "natural" from seaweed... the eggs/chicken thing was less to do with flavour than the gross idea of eating mother and unhatched baby together... know what i mean?

Nicole: I'm gettin' better all the time!

Vincent: it's weird I saw a film about the wild west... all these tough cowboys going out on expedition... no women allowed - all men's jobs... ONLY job I was capable of doing out of the whole posse was the cooking... so yeah I would love to be a chef/cook somewhere (I've got no training though...!) I'd like to train to do something I lurve and write to do something else I lurve... then maybe I could write about cooking and make a $$$packet$$$¬!!!

Molson: the pingers nearly pung before I found them...

Gledwood said...

Merle: ice cream ... I thought you were saying you (or rather your body) wouldn't tolerate it... actually I'm NOT that big a fan of icecream for the teethgnashing pain of it on my rotten old pegs... though I do like HaagenDasz strawberry cheesecake... I'm glad we're OK about the joke I've never meant to cause you any offence, sometimes I feel I've gone too far ... but only afterwards (of course!) ... as for heroin I wish it was as easy to give up as cream cakes or something like that... what it does is presses the button behind every pleasure and comfort we have. So that heroin can to a lesser or too often greater extent replace these... It is a nasty business I don't want any young child reading this blog to think I'm ever trying to imply it is "cool" it never has been - never will be!

Debs: the paprika rice/lea&perrins isn't as gross as it might sound of course it all soaks in during cooking... it makes a great plain dish if you only have rice, spices and eggs!

Lettuce: I wonder if you could keep those pykies as pets... imagine them jumping about like that in one's "parlour"... and what a mess they would make with the cut flowers... yeah TRY the rice it's good esp as just egg fried it really isn't overspicey or anything like that... maybe I shouldn't have compared to pilau...

(it does look like a bloody mary when cooking though)

Jeanette: I've heard Australian Chinese is best in the world... also Australian takeout and restaurant food in general... I have a strong affinity with Aus as I have 6 cousins down under

Marty said...

Ooh, this one is classy. I must try it when I get back home. Usually I go to my local Indian restaurant for basmati rice done proper. Gleds, you know I always love your recipies ... remember the junky sausage / bean thing that I tried here in Germany and loved? You even inspired me to come up with one of my own some months back, Marty's Junky Italian Bratwurst -- all the ingredients could be had from any German train station chemist's. -- BTW, recovery is going fairly well.

Patti said...

I am a really terrible cook but maybe just maybe i'll try fried rice. It sure sounds good!!!

Allison said...

I'm about to make some rice myself...your recipe sounds intriguing. Its nice adding your own twist to recipes.

Gledwood said...

Arjan: msg is flavour enhancer E621... not used as frequently as it used to be ... often found in soy sauce... Chinese takeaways use it a LOT ... gives food that taste you can never quite replicate at home... (hence my addiction to it!!)

Marty: it's not really pilau rice though this is a dish best eaten as recipe without the stir fry (though it's fine with... it was just designed as a stand-alone dish... so you don't feel quite like you're eating nothing but a third of a small glass of rice and an egg... which basically, condiments aside, is what it is!)

Patti: if you do it exactly as stated I promise it's really nice

Alison: definitely... the paprika cooks right into the rice so even though it starts off looking like ricey bloody mary it turns out quite nice... orange egg fried rice!

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Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.

Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!

Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood