DRUNK AT 7AM! That was me today! A cleaning bug bit me (bedbug more like)... and I had to have alcohol to get moving... in the end it deteriorated into me plunking out random glockenspiel sounds on Yamaha synthesizer as Moonlight Sonata blared from free Mail on Sunday "Country Cottage" CD. The neighbours have spent enough time annoying me I felt it was my turn to make some noise. Strangely none of this woke up Laundretta or Matran... perhaps I was being quieter than I thought...
Later in the morning I took to feeling really quite ill. Eventually I had to return home and to bed and sleep it all off. How inconvenient.
Nobody got disturbed by my impromptu classical music concert, either.
I THOUGHT I WAS HALLUCINATING EARLIER ON WHEN I SAW BABY ITCHY RUNNING AFTER A BALL IN THE PARK! Yes! My escaped hamster had turned loose on the green I was frantic with concern... till I realized it was just some old age pensioner's Yorkshire terrier... hmmm.
AND BIG MOMMA SPHERICAL GOT STUCK trying to squeeze her fat backside out of the Tea House (a Sainsbury's Red Label 40 teabags box with "windows" cut in all sides by moi) ... she looked so indignant and I had to resist temptations to give her a poke with an old crow's feather or something that would really have got her moving. Neither was she put in a good mood by my sudden appearance, cackling at her and saying "Have you got a fat bum? You have!"
BASHFUL has done nothing of note of late except been bashful.
YANGYANG the Chinese hamster has aphagia. I once told a certain friend "aphagia" meant giving up smoking and they believed me!
Yesterday I revelaed to Ruth how I have 50% turnip blood coursing these battered veins of mine. In fact half my entire family have (or had when they were alive) Wurzel Gummidge accents.
Ruth was quite shocked and confessed she had believed me to be product of some ancient aristocratic lineage.
Not so, I'm afraid. Although I did used to speak in the same voice as Prince William when I was a student in Norfolk many moons ago... this had more to do with being surrounded by public schoolboys and Sloanes and being out of touch with the local people. Two of the people I know now claim to hail from elevated backgrounds. But most of my friends nowadays really are quite vulgar. Some even have Cockney accents.
Yeah, as I was saying to the Duke of Marlborough only the other day: I'm a real man of the people .....
And on that note I had better leave things be...
Thank You For Hearing Me
Three Babies fan vid
Three Babies original vid
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