CHAOS IN MY HOUSE. Not only is the front door smashed in yet again (Laundretta got locked out drunk), but for the past couple of days she has been staggering up and down the hallways at night in the dark (a little like a drunken human prostitute minotaur) wailing and hollering and yelling accusations at her boyf, Matran.
It all came to a head yesterday when she smashed the back stairs window with a sink plunger... leaving the kind of plunger-shaped hole that you couldn't do if you tried a million times...
Yes chaos rules again.
Evilstein went slightly mad about that and Mat and L's television being left outside their room for two months and claimed we all have to clear up because the council are coming round today. Frankly I don't believe that but hid my robbies and made everything look a bit smart.
I actually went out and purchased some memoirs to use as an inspirational template for mine... and reading through came to the unsurprising conclusion that yes I will have to novelize the entire thing. Ukk.
This means telling your life story as if it was a novel ie with dialogue and descriptions laid out in the traditional format... which is kind of hard to do when it's your own truth... and such dialogue, though it pulls in the focus crystal sharp and close... is inherently untruthful because as we all know it is NOT the exact dialogue from the time.... ho-hum. But you gotta live to convention. Otherwise you end up in prison.
I'm going to mess about on the internet and then will have another go at memoiring later on tonight so wish me luck again... I shall aim to complete two whole pages today! Woo!
I think I picked out two TOP tunes today!
1. Sinitta - Cross My Broken Heart... you poor Americans on the far side of the pond... you don't know what you're missing not having charts full of Europop... (And Sinitta IS American by the way!!)
2. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood. I've no idea whatsoever WHAT Clint Eastwood has to do with this song. But that's the title. Hmmmmmmm......
And my 2 other vids:
3. Paris Hilton and Madonna munching sandwiches in the park...
4. Britney Bitch Revisited...***
Blog recommendation of the day:
The Captain's Blog. From HMS Somerset Royal Navy warship. Or frigate. Or whatever they call it. But it's a big grey metallic ship full of weapons. Designed for going out in times of conflict and kicking "arse"...
AWAY IN AMSTERDAM - Tomorrow I am going to Amsterdam to be the body guard of nearly 7 year old grandson Toby. It is about time that I leave home for a few days because I think...
1 day ago