FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I just wrote something and did not post it. Reason being: I'm not out to offend the people I mentioned.
Well I feel like my life is going down the toilet yet again. I am drunk & maudlin. I am waiting on someone who will "save" me from this situation. A two-stage save. 1. make money. 2. score. Actually 3-stage. Stage 3 is get a vein & make my day.
My veins have nearly ALL GONE.
I do not want to plunge a heavily acidified brown heroin mixture into the crook of my thighs. To do this you have to use a long orange needle (possibly the 1ml integral insulin 1ml "works" will do it but this is a debatable fact) but if not the massive blue horse needle--you plunge this not at a 45 degree angle as normally when injecting. You plunge it straight down right to the hilt. Right where a vein, a HUGE artery (that you do not want to inject into: you could lose your foot. EASILY) and the SCIATIC NERVE all run in close proximity. As I did mention before: doing this you can so easily & readily get DVT= deep vein thrombosis... I can't think of anyone who's done it for more than a few years and not had problems.
Cases in point.
1. When you inject into the "groin"/femoral vein as above desribed you go straight down. This feels gory & horrible. The acid itches your vein. You can often feel it tracking up towards your heart. Obviously I am used to this. But the implications do not escape me. (Not from going in the groin but in other veins.) THE ACID IS DISSOLVING THE VEIN.
2. Even if you don't get DVT eventually, from hitting the same/similar spots over&over&over a "sinus" develops. This is what they call on the street a "bullet hole" or an "eye". Ie. literally a hole big enough to put your little finger into going straight from surface flesh to vein. Eventually the vein & artery can become linked. In this case ... well read what I said about arterial injecting.
I know several people with one "bullet hole" each side. I met one in rehab who had three each side. That's what "habit" does to the body.
Incidentally if anyone reading this is/is thinking of/not initiated into but wants to inject ... YOU NEVER EVER INJECT INTO AN ARTERY. You can LOOSE FINGERS/TOES. if THIS HAPPENS take rings off asap. OR YOU WILL LOSE YOUR FINGERS. Ring ambulance asap. Why am I giving this advice. Will anyone listen . I think not.
3. Now I have parroted this myself... The supposed fact that addicts never grow up from the time they become an addict....
On the one hand. Yes this is true. I have seen for myself. Heroin addicts are hopelessly childish. Those that aren't childish INVARIABLY took up using later in life. Heroin is about escaping suffering. That is why addicts suffer even more than normal people. It's the law of diminishing returns. The law of natural inversion.
On the other hand... NA call ALL ADDICTS THE SAME. By that standard anyone addicted to tobacco is the same as a heroin addict. Are tobacco smokers hopelessly immature? I think not. So I don't know what to make of this point. But I felt the need to bring it up.
Okay I'm going again. I can't stand too much of this.
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