HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

LIVE FROM LONDON

Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...

DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Tony Blair Opinions

I WAS GOING TO DELETE THIS POST. BUT HEY, I WAS STUCK FOR SOMETHING TO SAY 2NITE ...

I HAVE SUCH AN INCREDIBLY ITCHY SAW THROTE ... actually is anyone interested ... And I don't go to doctors because anyone who goes to a doctor with a common cold is utterly wasting the poor overstretched man or woman's time. The only reason to go to a doctor with a common (uncomplicated) complaint and I'm assuming you don't have HIV or something.. would be to attain a sicknote. I had to do that at college bc I had the diarrhoea so bad I couldn't risk getting the tube ... honestly everything has to be double-confirmed on computer, on paper, on swipecard, by email, trailed outta the side of an aeroplane these days. In Tony Blair's Britain no-one can take anything at face value.

Do you know I was so happy the day Tony Blair got into power. It's not like America here. The general election is one day. Results come out that night. By next morning we have a new Prime Minister. (Well we will next time!!) And I think it's so presumptuous of Gordon Brown not even wanting to wait to get elected. I've a horrible feeling the Tories are getting in next time - yes, back to them again.

Anyhow I was thinking back to the past 9 years of 'New' Labour rule and what have they achieved. Nothing. Even less than Margaret Thatcher did. And I hardly agreed with everything she did, but somehow by the end of her reign - innumberable f-ups aside - Britain did appear to be a more advanced, less red-tape tangled country than at the beginning. Tony Blair has achieved the exact opposite. Nothing can be done in Blair's Britain that is not logged, filmed and biologically monitored.

Dismarmingly candid as he appears to be, the man is a failure of a statesman. George Bush's lapdog. Someone ought to chuck a stick in a deep, aligator-ridden pond at Camp David next time Blair's over (because I notice he always comes to Bush, or allows Condoleeza to be sent over in Bush's place. I wouldn't tolerate such insults. Bush can come here because he owes us about 500 personal visits just to make up that little deficit. I was going to say because we are superior but hey ... ..!

... Anyway... That's my opinion on that business... Anyhow, next time Blair's over Camp David someone ought to chuck a big stick in that damn alligator-ridden pond out there.

And just like any obedient lap-dog, Tony Blair will splosh in the water after it...

Hopefully never to be seen again
...

35 comments:

RUTH said...

Didn't know you could read my mind........backing you all the way on this post!!

gledwood said...

I know. Disaster aren't they, this present lot. I honestly don't know who I loathed the most, this lot or the very, very scrag end John Major Tories ...

Ron Knee's Rants and Raves said...

In politics it does not matter who gets in to power. As a great friend of mine once said:

"Du hast drei haufen scheisse. welche werdest du liebe essen?"

Von der Werner (German biker)comic books.

What the author means is:

"You have three heaps of shit, Which would you rather eat?

Don't matter what you vote for, shit happens.....

gledwood said...

I'm glad I'm NOT into politixx: I'd be so sorely disappointed with the lot of them.

Lib-Dems bore me. Accusing the Big 2 of Punch & Judying ...

The Big 2: well they Punch & Judy ...

What choice is there these days? Between different degrees & philosophies on totalitarian liberalism? I despair! Honestly, I give up! There's no hope for this country if this is the way we're going.

And at least Margaret Thatcher, for all her manifold "foibles" DID stand up for Britain internationally. Which is more than I can imagine any of the present lot doing ...

gledwood said...

Ron Knee you posted that the exact SECOND I posted my "name in black" (did I get my url wrong? I'll never know now ...)

& yes I agree. U R only voting in someone who's going to tell you what to do. I like the bit when they're NOT in power, like an evil genie in a bottle, pretending it only needs letting out for 5 minutes to get a leg-stretch ...

Ron Knee's Rants and Raves said...

Hey, Gledwood... Yor sore throte... You bin suckin' on sandpaper today??

Ha har!

Ron Knee's Rants and Raves said...

PS is this a blog or a forum?

Ha!

( I just had this argument in reverse with some dried up old git on Pink Fish Media forum. th egit complained that We were posting too frequently!)

gledwood said...

How can you post too frequently??

BTW have you seen the ants guy's blog? It's in my blogs 1 links I think ... 'find a queen ant & then you can get started' ... he advises ...

Ron Knee's Rants and Raves said...

I will have a butchers....

Ron Knee's Rants and Raves said...

Oh, my Ghod, Ee's orf the twig! Give 'Im a pill fer gawd's sake!

(sorry if this offends, but I am all for leaving animals of all desciptions to their own devices and that includes 'Oooman beings!)

Little Lamb said...

I like Tony Blair. I remember when Tony and George Bush joined forces. We considered England our best friends.

I love the English accent.

Little Lamb said...

Where's the contest you mentioned on my blog?

Gledwood said...

One post before this one.

Little Lamb said...

Ummm, I guess I said the wrong thing. Not to woryy. I do tbat all the time. Tony Blair isn't popular over there George Bush isn't popular over here. There! we're even.

Gledwood said...

Tony Blair, as I said IS charismatic. And he has this disarmingly 'sensible' way of talking. Well he often IS talking sense. It's slotting all his sensefulness together that creates nonsense...
He seems to have the makings of a good if not great leader, but I don't reckon he's actually achieved very much at all ...

Little Lamb said...

It seems to me when one is in a position like George or Tony, they're not very popular. Some like 'em, some don't.

Annelisa said...

Tony Blair is horribly like my ex on the 'charismatic' stakes... all charm, and able to sweet-talk, but totally ineffectual!

The only person I've ever wanted to become Prime Minister was John Smith, and he goes and dies before it gets to electing him! :-(

Oh well...as said... shit happens!

Gledwood said...

Yeah that's democracy for ya, it engenders disrespect for one's leaders ...

Annalise, yes I vaguely remember John Smith. Very brief Labour leader he was ...

IVY said...

I know what you mean.. Sometimes I even feel embarrassed about bringing up actual medical problems with doctors.. It's easier just to get a pill that somewhat helps and goes. At least you know what you want that way and dont cause them any trouble. But for example the clinic I'm on made me take a series of tests.. and i had a donut right before the test. So it showed my blood sugar as like diabetic high. So I should have looked into it.. But I didnt want to show my real doctor my cholesterol levels and diabetic sheet in case it was bad because i didnt want him to think i didnt eat healthy. LOL that is so neurotic!!!!
PS GledWood XOXOXOXO

junky said...

If only we could vote and change like you.
I love lame duck presidents, that take months to pardon all their friends, and push through their agenda. Good times.

Deb said...

my throat feels like i'm swallowing razor blades right now. but i don't go to the doctor either because i always figure i'll get sicker in the waiting room full of sickos than i actually really am.

today i took my daughter and got suckered into an appt for myself. i might call in sick and cancel though.

Deb said...

(our pm always makes me think of the hands in your pocket commercials. george's hand is always in stephen's pocket. he's so spineless...we need a leader, not a follower. harper's a wanna be and bush is his hero.)

Jim said...

Between the U.S., Brit. and Israel there is one big political twister in the wings. Hopefully 2008 will bring better politicians (was that unrealistically optomistic :)

Women on the Verge said...

Speaking as an American, I envy you Tony Blair, although I can certainly understand your ftrustration... at least he can actually pronounce words correctly, he doesn't walk into locked doors, and he hasn't "stepped on it" so badly that the entire world despises your country and its people for "electing" (actually, letting him steal it is a more accurate description) a certifiably insane moron... Gleds... when they throw that stick into the gator pond??? Do you think that George,Dick,Condi, and Carl might jump in too??? Ahhhh.... a girl can dream....

E

ggirl said...

W.'s lap dog, indeed. That's pretty pathetic, isn't it?

grumpygit said...

Don't get me started on this one...;-)

Suffice to say, I agree!

Deb said...

but he does provide a laugh for the rest of the world, unfortunately, at a pretty high cost. The SNL skits are especially priceless. For me, Will Ferrell captures the essence of George - too bad W's not an idiot on his own clock...he'd be fairly entertaining.

Check it out.

Gledwood said...

GGirl what do you mean pathetic? Cliche yes : true also yes!!

Wayward Son said...

Bush is the failure of the United States citizenry. We voted him into office.(not I personally) This country is seething with anger.It's as if the French Revolution were about to occur here. Unfortunately, as witnessed by the French revolution anger begets a poor revolt.

It doesn't take much to feel superior to George W.—aim your sights higher my friend.

Personally I feel the first woman President should and possibly will be Nancy Pelosi. We've got to throw him out and if he goes so must the other. She's next in line for the thrown here.

WS

Gledwood said...

What does everyone think about Hillary Clinton?

gledwood said...

COME ON! ROLL UP!! HILLARY CLINTON OPINIONS, PLEASE!!!

Women on the Verge said...

OK... my opinion on my state senator... she's ok... BUT I'm not into political dynasties. If she were to win , we would have had a Bush or Clinton in the White House for 24 years. Even if I adored her, this would be reason enough not to vote for her. I hate the idea that we're looking more like an oligarchy with only a small ruling class. That's not my vision of a republc.

gledwood said...

There was a really interesting thing on (BBC again!!) about should America retain it's "2-terms & you're out" presidential system? Or allow unlimited terms in office as Roosevelt enjoyed ..?..

opop said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

fgeegf said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood