FIRST OFF: I scared poor Baby Itchy by calling him/her "a furry morsel" and pointing out there wasn't much for an owl to eat "and if he caught you and gobbled you down he'd have to fly off and catch another one;" Itchy was terribly afrighted by this and has gone in hiding in a toilet roll tube... ooer.
... But the broccoli trees are still standing despite frequent nibbles.
MY DEALER TOLD ME HE HAD SOLD OUT OF HEROIN. I was in a dismal mood after this. Nothing except my own abstinence is allowed to come between me and my drugs. So I took out all my gear spoons - all eight of them - and got cooking and swishing with lots of water at the stuck-on brown bits round the sides (these are disposable cooking-up devices from the needle exchange - like miniature frying pans the size of 10p pieces)... the resulting brandy coloured "hit" put me in a good mood for some of the afternoon and I did 2 pages of writing. Then I rang again. No answer (=no news= bad news) so in the end I phoned someone else who was alleged to have ripped my friend Pascal off by charging £20 for £5 worth then running away but I got money's worth. I desperately opened the bag and sniffed - yes the smell of real "gear" came to my nose. Such scurrilous stories. Anyway this one doesn't like Pascal as Pascal's rude to him. Though he was a bit dur earlier when I called around 2pm he said "well I'm at community service can you come down to-" then I got cut off and called back to some baby crying on the answer phone (they all have babies - maybe that's why they need so much money..?) Anyway I'm fine now...
What differing responses I got to the Stats post. From "I check mine religiously every day" to "I really couldn't give a flying ..." The only thrill I get is knowing people in vastly distant parts of the world can read my ramblings... and I don't even know who most of those people are!
Poor Britney Spears has lost custardy of her babies. Poor cow. I've never seen a "star" go down the toilet as publicly or as quickly as her... I wonder what shall become of her?
It's getting dark exceedingly early these days... half past six and skies are mirksome... ten to seven and night has fallen already... Winter is on it's way. I think this year's will be a harsh one with Siberian temperatures and Xmas snow... (that's what I'm hoping at least - I want to make money on a white Christmas bet for once!)
Righty ho! Do take a look at my Desperately Thirsty Giraffe. Have you ever seen anything like that?
Other vid of the day: Upside Down Robos
2 entertaining blogs of the day
http://deitsch-family.blogspot.com - the baby Cameron is so entertaining!
http://tbegoidze.blogspot.com - surreal pixx - and isn't Georgian writing the second funkiest in the world..? (After Burmese.)...
I've been researching the supposed royalty rates I should get on hardback, paperback, etc.
The first book I consulted was right the typical top paperback rate is indeed 10% of cover price.
The typical top hardback rate is 15% of cover price.
Of course they don't always publish first time authors in hardback at all... which is a ****er but there you go.
Then again I've always had a pretty good feeling about my writing that if only I could get it into print it would do pretty well.
A certain member of my family always winds me up by suggesting I should e-publish online and that people would pay to read my stuff on screen... I really can't see this and considering how few hits you get on a blog compared to the one billion potential readers I think I'm right in wanting to go the traditional route of approaching a good agent and getting a good international publisher to do all that hard work for me. The way I see it: writing is an art; publishing is a business. You publish to make money or you're a fool!
PS One rate I could not find was the one you ought to get on translations... after all Agatha Christie, for example sold half her books in English, half in 40 other languages. Does anyone reading this know the right percentages? I tried googling them to no avail...
Staying at the Palace - Most of my holidays were spent in a caravan in Port Eynon on Gower. It belonged to a friend of my mum's who let us use it for a week a year. [image: Regent...
18 hours ago