FOUND SOME WORLDLY WISDOM ON MY DAILY TRAWLS. THIS IS FROM TODAY'S HORRORSCOPE.
A MYSTERY FREE GIFT is on offer (+ shipping and handling) to THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAN TELL ME TO WHAT STAR-SIGN THE FOLLOWING ADVICE RELATES ...
Before I give the quote, let me explain. A favourite wind-up on my female friends (they're the only ones who wanted their "stars" read out) was, on being asked for this service ... to read out a random wrong sign and look on amusedly as they clucked and cooed over such spot-on celestial advice...
The following is taken verbatim from one star sign from one source. Not a word has been added or left out. If you can accurately guess to which sign this advice relates, a wonderful free gift could be yours ...
So get guessing:-------
WHAT STAR-SIGN IS THIS FOR??
A long drawn-out argument is on offer if you want it. When it becomes obvious someone has missed a point, you can chose to explain in detail why this is so. Alternatively, you can choose to let them believe they know more about something than you and enjoy a peaceful evening otherwise. One option invites stress. The other doesn't. The choice is yours.
(Cross my Heart: this is verbatim ...)
Answers in the Commentary Box, please ...
ps in the event of two correct answers being received, a tie-breaker question shall be imposed to tell me the funniest joke... (or something like that) ...
13 hours ago
56 comments:
i would not bother explaining and just live in peace. thanks for stopping by my blog
OH! OH! OH!
I know this! It's ... er ... it's the horoscope of your Chinese hamster!
Right? Right? Am I right?
By the way, does your Chinese hamster speak Madarin or something other local dialect?
Thanks for visiting my blog and for blog rolling me. I'll reciprocate because you're funny.
I think the hammy speaks the mysterious 2-tone Shanghai patois ...
Thanks for the visitations
Gledwood
But NO no-one's RIGHT. And I have a mysterious gift GOING OFF here, just waiting for the Correct Comment ...
Joke: it is a nonperishable WONDERFUL gift...
Well I know the answer but choose to let you believe you know more than me as I want a peaceful evening.....so won't tell you
Rx (I'm Aries BTW)
Gledwood you are incorrigible!!~ How could you read out the wrong horoscopes?? So mean... but funny!
By the way check out my blog because it has a link to the absurd petition that blair is sneaking through.
BTW dont try to trick me coz I am a picky picky Virgo!
Hey just visiting... the icon I have now I actually got the way you did: a person had it online and I liked it. So I dled it and now it is mine! You may feel free to dl it from me next.
r2k I don't quite get what you mean dl'd it? d1'd it? died it? wot??
ok are we guessing a celebrity? or just what astrological sign the horror-scope(ha!) goes to?
I'm thinking this belongs to either a virgo or a scorpio, or a leo?
ok that was more than one guess wasn't it... hmmm....I'm going with scorpio, we know we are right..we like to argue the finer points, but we can also sit back and watch amusedly while you think YOU are right?
Am I right?
All shall be revealed once I've had at least one guess per star sign!!!
Or once I get bored if that never happens (I have this feeling....)
*pout* but I've got no patience! I've just got to know!! LOL
You can LOL all you like and even if you do 11 consecutive comments giving each one ... well ppl will just think I'm dead popular!!! Actually that was my cunning plan I knew I could get 12 comments out of this one at least. I didn't actually but hey aren't I clever without trying../????//////
Sounds like a Gemini to me. I have friends in starry places who at least would guess from an educated perspective. But I shan't bother them with this bid for a prize.I'd have to share it, quid pro quo, don't you know.
Yes, I am going to say it is for Gemini, the sun sign of choices.
... and i did not even google for the answer!
No yer all wrong!!
I really have no idea but I'll guess Sagitarrius.
alright, I know what it is! but I'll let others guess first!
(and yeah, you're pretty sneaky with luring us here for extra comments!:)
*why didn't I think of doing that??*
Okay Sarah do I have to send you a free gift ... let me get hunting ... oh yeah you have to pay shipping and handling nurnur-nur- nurnur!!
OKAY KEEP GUESSING FOLKS COMPETITION'S RARINGLY ONGOING!!
And you CAN guess the same sign as someone else. Remember the tiebreaker rule??
COME ON COME ON ROLE UP ROLL UP (my spellings!)... come ON!
It must be Scorpio!!!! Long drawn out arguments have become part of my life lately and I am getting good in giving in and making the other person/party believe they are right just to get some peace and quiet and time to read your blog, scorpio it is!!!!
Lcxxx
I still don't think anyone's guessed the right answer ... this is weird ...
Ok.. my last guess... it's Aquarius!!
I have no idea whatsoever.
Pisces?
Aries.
libra (me)
Leo, dammit!
**What the hell am I doing??**
LMAO!
Libra?
Sagataurus?
Botulinum Toxin?
what was the question?
/t.
Hahahaarrggghh! Or am I meant to say 'LOL'?
C'mon, kids, keep guessin'...
Taurus... the bull headed!!
Carry on ...
Remember there's a joke tie-breaker as well. (Assuming 2 people ever DO settle on the correct answer!!.)
Sarah you still haven't alighted upon the right one...
Damnit! I am ashamed to be a Pagan! Haven't they all been covered yet?
Cancer!
Capricorn!
Virgo!
Taurus!
Last one...they've all been covered.
Are you pulling our legs??
I missed the competition because the computer was off yesterday evening!
My answer is Scorpio... this is a tough contest because it could be written for any sign. In fact, it could be written for anyone, any situation, any given day.
And about the books on my shelf, yes I do have the Warhol Diaries and found them very entertaining indeed. One of my favourites used to be Andy Warhol's "From A to B And Back Again", I read it so many times when I was about 15 or so that I probably remembered half the book.
The Diaries are very amusing because there are so many people involved that one knows of and it's fun to read about their antics.
I also like Umberto Eco and Hermann Hesse and Charles Bukowski a lot. And I've read all the James Bond novels by Ian Fleming, very good and so unlike the silly movies.
Is it a Lion?
Umm joke, right, umm... Ahh!
There's this Scottish bloke and this English bloke. They are watching England-Spain on tele. Says the Scottish one against the English one: English men are all gay. Replies the English one: Well atleast our thing doesn't freeze of in winter.
Right, it's not funny, I know, but I was close, if you consider Tokio close to Britain.
Cancer.
No one has guessed Capricorn, but I really don't think it's Capricorn, because that's me and the description is very not me.
So, Cancer. That's my guess, O Clever One.
I'm guessing Virgo... not only because I share that sign with our host ... Hi Gledwood!... but because we are a group tending toward arrogance... note the wording "we may choose to argue"...
By the way, I'm a size 2 with auburn hair... no jewels though... I'd prefer a nice heavy sweater ;-)
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE...
A gorgeous young redhead went into her doctor's office and reported that her body hurt where ever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor, "show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed, even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?". "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," said the doctor..."your finger is broken."
"A long drawn-out argument is on offer if you want it..."
Must be MY star sign - Grumpiarius
Debs that did actually make me "LOL". Which takes quite a lot these days!
There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope
would break and they would all die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching
speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
Then all the men clapped !!!
A woman went to the pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage, £5.00. "Why so little?" she asked the shopkeeper.
The parrot used to live in a brothel and when they got arrested, the police brought me the bird."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "that's not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters came home from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores." The girls and the woman were
a bit offended, but then began to laugh at the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."
Ruth: Joke #1 I didn't get. Now I do. Joke #2 is very entertaining ...
sorry, but that's 'cause you're a man gled. and one who might've clapped??! JJ of course ;)
good jokes...loved them.
Thanks, I think, Gledwood for the URLs.
I hope Deb and Ruth don't mind but I reprinted their jokes on my blog and will post them tomorrow. I've provided links back to all your blogs too.
And thanks to Nicole for turning me on to The Andy Warhol Diaries. I've got a copy coming from the library.
RIP Anna Nicole
Sandy - http://abnormally.blogspot.com
ouahhhhhh...people semm to have a very good time out here...I've been neglecting friends for a while, sorry...back again, too late for the competition but must have been fun...horoscopes are very funny, really all the signs have something to do with real life, the words are so general...one day I gave all the pupils horoscopes, they were so happy, it was true for most of them...but after I told them I had changed the text : pisces instead of libra, aquarius instead of virgo... that's interesting, because it makes you think about yourself and sort out your "head"...see you everybody and congratulations to the winner!!!
love from Mousie
What do you mean you think? Aren't they enough?? I didn't really want to ask your address over the internet as I thought that sounds a bit dodgy otherwise I would have sent you a card ... or a mystery gift even as promised (what though?? I rack my brains for an answer ...)
And Sandy glows in the SPOTLIGHT of the SHEER & UNDISPUTED W I N N E R !!!!
Oh...I didn't really want the prize, I just wanted to be right! LOL
The URLs were creepy. I'm not that fond of spiders or ants. Chocolate, yes, bugs, no. You're taunting me because of the spider posts I've had recently on my blog. That's not funny. I got the shivers.
In any case, what matters is I won! YAY!
Thanks Gledwood!
I missed all the jokes! They were great! Ha! or "LOL" (I know you love that Gledwood! :))
Hey dude, did you even read my post?? I poured my heart into that one.
Post a Comment