Gledwood Vol 2 (Main blog)

HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe) mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Tired Mouse Milk Jerry Springer Pee

OH BOO-HOO etc., I'm so tired. WHY do I keep sleeping interminable hours hours hours on end? Why am I so darkened ... eeh! My carboniferous soul!! (Just wanted an excuse to use "carboniferous" somewhere haahaa!)

To cheer self up I did massive hamster house removal. Yingyang the Chinese hammy with giant poppy eyes like a racoon is now in the robbies' old weekend "gite" (the ultra-modern hammy home with spiral staircase and turret). The robos are back in their tank. Three curious pink noses emerging from differing utility tubes... Those naughty robos took up residence inside the wheel in the turret and being lazy sluts obviously could not be bothered to ramble downstairs when they wanted a pee in the night. Because of this they've peed in the wheel then ran inside it and got pee all over themselves. Ukk!

Laundretta has thrown all the whorehouse magazines in our bins (the ones the girls read while they're smoking and waiting to be booked; not the ones the disgusting punters read) so I scooped them out for celebrity reading. (She only reads about tacky British reality TV celebrities - Now magazine etc...) After carefully wiping them off for fragments of genital warts (after all they do come from a brothel) I had a quick flick through... and got reminded of one of my very few lifetime "celebrity" encounters...

Yes! I once witnessed EastEnders' Ronnie Mitchell star Samanthaj Anus on in sports car on mobile telephone with posh voiced blondes to dreadful society heiress Tamara Beckwith. Wow! (Not.)

Celebrity Encounter II - was with my brother in Picaddily Circus when sudden camera crew arrival announced presence of very fake blond haired Jerry Springer! Yes! The general public took up a feeble cockney chant of "Gerry Gerry!" and I shook his hand. He said "how are you?" I said "Very well thankyou," of course taking the question very literally in British fashion. But already he was looking over my shoulder for somebody more interesting to "pump" for information...

PS Is it true there's a delicacy mouse's milk cheese? Or is this just the product of one of my most vivid dreams? I seriously remember the mouse's milk being collected and the cheese being "curds and weighed" ... all very expensive as you don't get a lot of milk from a mouse ...

... hey! Brainwave idea! I have 3 FEMALE roborovskis! I could put THEM to work in a dairy ~ haha! (I hope their milk doesn't smell like their peepee if so not even magpies would drink it...)

(Click to see a really entertaining hamster comparison photo (Siberian Winter White, Chinese and Tubby Syrian) complete with ruler!) The Chinese one (middle) looks like it's been stuffed, left in someone's jacket pocket and accidentally dry-cleaned!

Click here to see my blog as you've never seen it before! Complete with kitty-claws!! (Courtesy Audrey.)

Click here to see a really entertaining dancing cockatoo! Sorry I can't embedd this (don't know how to) but it came courtesy of a friend of Bimbimbie's.

***

Try this 5-second right-brain/left brain test and tell me how you faired. I'm supposedly right brained. As was everyone who took the test at Phoebe Fay's blog where I found it...

***

The Dutch are to ban magic mushrooms... (at last). All that time they've been on sale legally in Amsterdam and I never even knew!!

If only!!

No boring cannabis cafe would ever tempt me over ... but magic mushies... wow! They are something else!

(I haven't actually taken 'em for years... over seven years in fact, so ...)

***

Blog of the evening:
Reagan Young - very funny pictures of baby + cupcakes...

Blog II of the evening
Ya Sonra - arty Turkish photos...

and another blog

Pequete's Art Journal http://pequeteartjournal.blogspot.com

Photos:

Funny signs: http://garden-of-secrets.blogspot.com

A wise and distant cat... located at eptpatricia

Funky Lison Cruise Ships

French Boxes
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3 comments:

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i met jerry springer once. he lives in bird key, one of the developments in sarasota, also where my friend's sister lives. it was a few years ago, and i went to my friend's sisters fourth of july party, and he was there. i was like OMFG. we had some herbal essence together, and he's actually a decent guy.

16 October 2007 at 21:44
Welshcakes Limoncello said...

You seem on fine form here, Gleds! Are the hamsters stressed out from moving?

17 October 2007 at 15:31
Anonymous said...

Left brain/right brain=50/50. I'm an odd duck.

17 October 2007 at 16:12

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I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood