Basketball of Birdseed

I WENT TO THE SNOTTY WOMAN'S FISH SHOP where she sells hamster food, cat biscuits, some exotic aquatics plus the famous "wild bird"... thanks to stingifying their sales procedures they refused to sell me any pack of wild birdseed smaller than a basketball literal carrierbag full. This was highly inconvenient. I've been carting it about with me everywhere.

Went to my weekly drugs clinic. Phoned my creditors yet again. They keep trying to squeeze arrangements out of me. I will not be rushed or intimidated into paying instalments I won't be able to keep going. I've enough experience of defaulting on debts for two lifetimes....

Eventually my worker saw me with this enormous weighed-down bag of stuff and said "what on earth is that?!"

I said, "O I've got some dwarf gremlin things" (the name 'roborovski' escaped me that moment) "that eat birdseed and this is what I had to buy them."

"What? All that?!" said my worker. "Anyone would think you were keepin' pet dairy cows in your room!"

And all the scuzzy junkies in the waiting room looked like they were trying not to laugh.

Just cos they don't have entertaining gremlins in their homes... jealous. As my Mum would have said. When I was at primary school...

Would you like to see an electronic Christmas card? It's really funny. The name of the tune, by the way, is Pachabel's Canon.

Righto, I know that wasn't much of a post but I've got fried chicken getting cold and I gotta go I'm starving!!

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Videos of the Day
Siberian Tiger
Totem Animals (I'm not into new-agey hippie **** anymore, but this is quite a nice film...)

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Wow the gremlins loved their wild bird! Got out of bed, all 3 of them and went nuts for it!!

Fresh seeds, you see.... they really don't appreciate stale old air-stale stuff...

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Here's a train journey I'd really like to go on. New York to Chicago, then Chicago to Los Angeles on deluxe $1600 train (at "only £800" per person that's ... what am I saying? That's still really expensive!!) I'd love to go New York to LA by train. And it has to be in "pioneer direction", the climate steadily getting more and more exotic as you trundle from Chicago cross cowboy and Indian land to LA..!

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Did I tell you I once travelled West Wales to Marakesh* by train (and 2 boats, obviously!) By Interrail (Eurail) pass. That took over three days nonstop travel. I remember being in Paris Austerlitz (pretty sure it was that one) asking the platform attendant "where does the train to Spain leave from tonight" and him rolling his eyes: "oo! la-la! The train to Spain!"

*Moroccan rail isn't included on the Interrail scheme any more. Travel is so cheap there I'm sure you can go Tangier-Marakesh for $20*. What Interrail/Eurail have done, however is scrap the former age-limit (it used to be under 26s only) and you can now get all the way to Turkey... wow! Imagine taking the train to Iran! (Bet the frontier is closed. I tried to get into Algeria but it was impossible. The tracks had been torn up for nearly 10 miles from Oujda to the border. Plus Algeria was in upheaval (which only attracted me more, to be frank - now young and naive I was then!)

(Interrail is for Europeans; Eurail is for Americans: it's exactly the same thing but you need to buy the ticket in your home country. Don't just come to Europe and expect to get a pass, you'll run into redtape!)

*Correction: it's 190 dirham* second class... o! I'm making myself too nostalgic now. I got the whiff of Arabic cigarettes up my nose and the wailing of the 6am call to prayer resounding in my ears just thinking about it...

*One Moroccan dirham = US 12 cents.

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Kern Family Blog http://kernfamily3.blogspot.com
Some really funny pixx of kids in bear suits.