O I FEEL STRANGE. I wouldn't mind being depressed. Well actually I would. I would mind it very much. I specially wouldn't mind being UPUPUPUP UPPPP!!! But I'm neither thing. I slept somewhere up to 18 hours last night. The smoke alarm is going crazy and I'm thoroughly enjoying it + pissing off my neighbours. It's off now.
I HAD to go get methadone as I slept so late they were about to close. So I got it. In the foulest of moods. Got ONE pizza in Morrisons where some idiotic foreigner was trying to feed a £50 note into the self-service machine. If I'd been a little more whateveristic I'd have told her "darling nobody in this country accepts a fifty. They're either faked or they think you're trying to pass off a fake. Take 20s. Or use 500 euro notes." Then I had to buy cherry cyder and some Pole who was even more averse to showering than me (and that's saying something) seemed to spend half an hour buying about 7 items of weird unclean porkfilled Polish food.
Then I got home. No cigarette papers and frankly I'd rather look behind my bottom drawer for a stray one than go outside again.
My oven is going nuts as there's still burnt tost in there from yesterday (that I forgot about till it was past incinerated) along with the tex mex pizza.
So I'm buzzing in a vague "just been on coke" type way. No it's not the heroin. Heroin doesn't make you buzz; it's a downer ~ it just helped me sleep not far off an entire 24 hours.
And I feel shit. So what's that? I'm not going to any appointments. Oh shit some bastard is coming round my house tomorrow well he can see it as it is I ain't doing shit for no-one.
What is it Baino you don't believe I'm psychic? I'll try and get you next week's lottery numbers? OK??
Right i gotta go I've only had 2.5 cigarettes today. I don't want any heroin it didn't make me "high" (does anyone get a high off heroin? What's it like? Feels like normality to me...) anyway the PO was shut by the time I woke up.
Shit I suppose I'd better clear the worst for this support worker git. Sure he's NOT on my side. All they do is try and con you these people. Right I'm off.
It was Christmas eve in a war zone - I just about managed to rise this morning but shining is still a long way off. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I had my usual stress dream last night....
19 hours ago