MY EYES ARE SQUARE, my brain is fried. Ziggies are zagging from retinal glare right back to the right back of my head. Why did I actually decide to post up a blog full of trash? Paris Hilton. Lindsay Lohan. That's what people wanna see. So in a moment of madness I posted it all up. If you wish to view it, press here.
As it is I am now tired and unsure. And hungry. And have to wait to get the money to eat. Which is so typical.
I did have a meeting with yet another drugs nurse today. She encouraged me to write out a brief sketch of my life so she at least has something to go on. This is a good sign. It means they may actually see the wood rather than just the rotten trees, know what I mean?
Also I did a wise thing and told her that if I am to get clean I wish to go abroad. Europe is suppsedly a single Union and I should have the same rights to training, housing &c as here. There are Members of the European Parliament supposed to protect these rights. And agencies through which millions of euros are funnelled who are supposed to inform me of these rights. At present I'm looking for an access point that will put me in touch. Google just has the obvious stuff for businessmen wanting to trade overseas.
Perhaps my earlier posts gave the impression that I want to travel. That isn't really it. I want to uproot myself and plant down somewhere else. Whoever came up with that idiot saying "Grow where you're planted" ... well plants can obey that little credo. I have legs for a reason. To get me out of places I've had enough of!
Basically, what I want to do is pick a town (not necessarily a large city but those are the places I gravitate to) and make that home. Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin would be the kind of place. Or somewhere hot by the sea ... Costa del Sol, Barcelona, Italy somewhere, Greece. I'm blessed that I do pick up foreign language pretty easily so that isn't the biggest barrier. But where I end up... eventually... wherever I like I want to stay. I hate feeling like an outsider. I'm willing to be one but only while adopting pastures new as home.
As I said the other day my family sometimes seem to think I'm assuming the grass is always greener. I know it is the same grass just a different field. I have a vision of being somewhere overseas with people babbling all around me feeling miserable, thinking what am I doing here. But I'd rather be thinking that any day than be stuck in middle-England feeling more isolated, let down and flabby because I never even made the effort to go anywhere to begin with. My family is scattered worldwide because of itchy feet in the past and now I've just posted my own daydream. Well... we'll see ...
12 hours ago
19 comments:
Thank You for your comment on my Blog!
At the time that I was there, Eritrea was a province of Ethiopia annexed by Haile Selassie and sanctioned by the UN. You can read about it in Michela Wrong’s book “I Didn’t Do It For You”.
I too am an addict. But only to legal drugs – Alcohol, Nicotine and Caffeine.
I wish you the best in you rehab!
Gledwood ~ Thanks for stopping by over at mine. My transit map is of Boston, MA. I am currently in Washington state visiting my fella but am permanently located in MA ~ thus the Boston Pobble.
Hope this ends a little but of the eye spinning for you! :)
Hey gledwood. Where I grew up on Vanouver Island, BC Canada, we have blackberries. Way too many blackberries. They're really tasty and are really good in pies because you get a perfect mix of sweet and tart. Anyway, the damned things are taking over. Cities and towns have to hire people just to keep them from crowding out lawns and gardens. They grow like nothing you've ever seen. The funny thing about blackberries is they never stay where they were planted. They grow so tall that they fall down and where they touch the ground, they grow new roots. Then it starts all over again until entire estates are eaten up by thorny blackberry arches.
I don't know how that fits into your planted paradigm, but there it is.
Cheers and thanks for stopping by my Bill rant. I'm glad someone was willing to defend him.
ehmmm..the whole post sounds "green" and i feel green too. haha. well, i am here to say hi and thx for visiting my blog and continue work out on your gledwoodceleb blog too~!
well done and thx for a great comment:)
i'm constantly uprooting and plopping down in a new country. its a bit of a pain when you have two cats, but they seem used to it now. mind you, the recent 72 hour flight over from Australia knocked the wind out of them a bit. but only for a day or so...
Keep dreaming, Gleds. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps one sane.
I hope you can get your rehabilitation sorted out...and that you find someone who'll see the wood for what it is...good, bad or ugly.
Good luck with the planting. I uprooted from one country to another and...it's the best thing I've ever done for myself.
Talk to you soon.
Hi Gledwood ~~ The new nurse sounds like a better one. I do hope you can get yourself clean and go on to travel. Good luck with your dream.
Thanks for your comments. I hope your
lamb casserole was delicious. I have never cooked mint with lamb, so must try it. Thanks for the tip. I use mint sauce on lamb. Take care,
Regards, Merle.
A change of atmosphere would help Gled. Before that standing firmly on your feet is necessary. You've got the strength to pull yourself up.
Beach Bum: Re Eritrea~~I thought so! See I'm not THAT ignorant of the facts of the world. Wow I actually knew something. Re your "drugs" good on you. Don't dabble in anything harder!!
Bostonpobble: I still don't get what "Pobble" is ... the tube map is brilliant. Much straighter than ours. Ours looks like a half-buried milk bottle with roots and sprouts shooting out in every direction. Best of luck with the MA. Yeah the eyespinning's ended, thanxx
Get off my lawn: what a name!! We have blackberries too, in profusion, about the end of August, September. Sylvia Plath used to write about them... "hooks" ... I'd always thought of them as a very British fruit for some reason, brambles. Make fantastic jams and crumbles. Do you have crumble in Canada? Like a pie but with well, crumbly top .. haha!
Elween: yeah the celeb blog's hopefully gonna get fabulouser and fabulouser ... haha!!
Jungle Jane: no cats so no prob! Sometimes you gotta move, you know?
Puss-in-Boots: thanks for the encouragement. As I said: if I lived out my life rooted here I'd feel I'd let myself down BADLY ...
Merle: the new nurse was an AUSSIE coincidentally. She told me to look up on Google. I didn't reveal to her quite how MUCH I use the internet ... haha! Yes the mint IN casserole was fresh and I just slit the leaves a bit and put the stalks in pretty much whole, intending to pick it all out. In the end I just ate the soggy stalks with it all, It was OK! And not TOO minty despite about 20 times as much as you might normally put in and fresh
Rauf: Yeah I've been advised definitely to sort myself out BEFORE travelling and not the other way round!!
Thanks again everyone your encouragement much appreciated!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
As a new reader, can I say I hope your rehab is successful, your dream to live somewhere else is fulfilled and you continue blogging because your writing is excellent.
I never preach about addiction-everybody gets a different deal in life. I can hold more alcohol than is good for the internal organs to try and handle, and I fight with it. Good luck with your fight. Humans- So high in the food chain, so low in what we could be....
Akemalu: yeah I was wondering whether to continue blogging and under what circumstances but I think I probably WILL continue, no matter what. Thanks for your comment
Bufalodickdy: yep, quite right
I do hope you get to live elsewhere. I've been to London and I wouldn't want to live there either.
well, England isnt the cheeriest place in the world, and i dont blame you for setting your sights somewhere else. Though not that England doesnt have its perks. Like speed bumps and roundabouts. Wait, thats wrong....
New York is an incredible place to live. However, it is a sink or swim kind of town. better not to be weighted down with that at the moment. Have you considered a sleepy little village by the sea somewhere? (with access to the Web, of course)
I think new places are great for new beginnings. But please remember that geographical changes make personal change more interesting but not less arduous.
I think writing your life story for the nurse is a risky proposition. meaning some needs might be overlooked because you are such a charming writer!
WS
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