HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.


Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...


I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Mad, BAD, Dangerous to Sing

I was watching my music video blog just now.

I hate singers who mangle their words:

Michael Jackson's BAD

I mean, do you hear the same nonsense as me?

Your word is mine
Don't make it right
Just show your face
In broad daylight
I'm telling you
Gonna go after you
Don't catch your mind
Don't shoot to kill

Sham-aou! Sham-aou!
Tell me! Alright

I'm telling you
Gonna count to three
Just show your stuff
Don't let it be
I'm telling you
Just watch your mouth
I know you're clean
What you're about

And they say it's like a band
And to me it's near the tube
And my friend you can't say nothing
That's where you are and who

Because I'm bad! I'm bad! Sham-aou
You know I'm bad! I'm bad!
You know it
You know I'm bad I'm bad
And the whole world has
To answer right now
Because I tell you once again
Who's bad

The word is out
You're doing Moron
Gone lock you up
Before too long
Your lying eyes
Don't make it right
So listen girl
Don't make a fight
Your talk is cheap
You're Niles's man
You're throwing stones
And you're a lamb

When they say it's like a million
And your maid is merely dhoop*
And my friend you half say nothing
Cause a-wave your arm is through

Because I'm bad! I'm bad!

You know I'm bad! I'm bad!
You know it!

You know I'm bad you know

And the whole world has to answer right now
Because I tell you once again
Who's bad

*dhoop sticks are tiny joss-sticks used by hardcore hippies and native Indians because they're much stronger than the vulgar twiggy long versions

Does anyone know a more plausible version?
I think not.
I rest my case.
Put your anti-crap-singers messages in the comments box please.

ps here's a fansite's >>fairly<< plausible rendition of what Bad could be ...


Hang on~... how come everyone seems to know about my secret Fabulous Celebrity Blog ... it's only been online an hour and already three people have found it.

OK if you wanna go there click here

Actually what the hell I'm adding it to my profile as well.

Just be aware (1) it's intentionally trashy and (2) there's hardly anything there yet!


O I found out where the "hits" were coming from ~ Technorati searches, aparently. Wow that was quick. One hour online and already people are viewing the rubbish I posted up there. (Hardly candidate for Thinking Blogger Awards, I can tell you!)


Titania Starlight said...

Good post! :o)

Thank you for stopping by and commenting on my blog. Much appreciated.

gledwood said...

Glad you like it, Tats.

Come on! Somebody else! Insult Michael Jackson for me!!

gledwood said...

I was just thinking: is this the sign of the times? Me begging for insults to chuck at someone else? Surely a 1950s blogger wouldn't have been like this.

(Yeah, they used to blog on paper then, using an IBM manual typewriter and card-index comments system.)

OCD On A Stick said...


I often wondered what he was saying here. Is it a weird sound effect or does it actually mean something?

Ha! Ha! 1950's bloggers. I had an older professor that would stop several times a semester to tell us about the old punch card computer systems. He would lament about how long it took the computer to do a computation and then the horror of dropping the huge box punch cards that was delivered as output.

Nicole said...

I can't stand Bob Dylan!!! Can't stand his music and most of all can't stand that constipated noise he makes and passes off as "singing".

Edyta said...

Now look at me:


I did it for u :D

Gledwood said...

Thank you Edyta. More detail to the insults next time tho please!

Many thanks

Yes Nicole Bob Dylan is massively overrated. BIGtime I agree

OCD there's a guy on Brit TV who takes the PeePee out of Sham-aou

it's meant to be "come on" but Jacksonized.

Remember this is the guy who wanted a bunch of celebrities to sing "Shah-la - Shah-lingay" to We are the World and Quincy Jones cut it out.

Quincy Jones also (so I hear on the internet) cut out 20 tracks from MJ's Bad album. Did he spare us or deprive the world of 20 tracks of MJ's best entertainment?

zen wizard said...

The lyrics of this song, I feel, were a harbinger of "You Rocked My World," which was a good song musically but the chorus--

"You rocked my world, you know you did
And everything I own I give
The rarest love, who'd think I'd find
Someone like you to call mine
You rocked my world, you know you did
And everything I own I give
The rarest love, who'd think I'd find
Someone like you to call mine."

--doesn't flow or make sense.

The tense changes--"You rocked my world you know you did..."

..."and everything I own I give..."

And it really doesn't flow.

I am by no means a musical expert, but sometimes Michael's songs--like Stevie Wonder's--emphasize a strange word, like an article or a preposition. I can't remember which one now, but I swear there was a Stevie Wonder song which made the word "the" into two syllables and emphasized it and stretched it out.

I think sometimes egos get in the way and some of these guys should write something and then have some hack in the Brill Building or wherever REWRITE it--but try telling these guys that.

Jenny! said...

Michael Jackson has bigger problems than his songs!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Gledwood said...

Zen Wizard: I know the kind of thing you're talking about but I cannot think of specific illustrations either. Strange that somebody blind should have such an oversight with language ... but maybe we expect too much of cliches, know what I mean... Michael Jackson mangles his words up something chronic it is a scandal that such an internationally renowned singer should effectively be singing gobbledygook. And do you know what? I actually think he does it deliberately, to rise the song above the limitations of the mere English language ... well that's the only interpretation I can put on it ...

Jenny!: too true, too true!!

ania said...


To see "Sham-aou! Sham-aou!" typed out as an actual lyrical phrase totally sent me into a cascade of giggles.

Too, too funny.

Thanks for the laugh....

Anonymous said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

Anonymous said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,



Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.

Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!

Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood