THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME GO TO REHAB: but I said no no no ...
That idea was put to me today. But actually I said I would think about it ...
I have been in treatment twice before within a matter of months. But both times I was out the door within a week ...
Junkies are all boring. They're all the same. And I got fed up of being bundled in with a bunch of people on prison-swerves all muttering about who had done how much time where for doing what. Dull.
The doctor said today that he got the impression I was more intelligent than the average addict. I said (and this made them laugh) that addicts just pretend to be all thick.
Here's the basic rules for being a junkie
- Whatever the local accent is, adopt it, thicken it and make it your own. Speak it in a hoarse rough-sounding rasp. The kind of voice that would scare little children down dark alleys
- An addict cannot be sensitive. Kindness is a weakness. You must be tough and rough. The fact that I'm often taken to be soft annoys me most especially when people have the cheek to turn to me and inform me they're disappointed because I'm hard-centred! Better to be as I am than the weak and common herd, I always think.
- All junkies are thick. Speech must be ungrammatical and full of arcane slang. Thoroughly illiterate except for forging signatures on payment slips and cheques. Innumerate except for calculating bulk discount on multi-bag drugs buys. Conversely criminal "nous" is an utter must. I'm often taken as lacking in both of these things and how I love to ham my dimwittedness up often to much eye-rolling and tilting of heads. Of course my tormentors have always been to thick themselves to realize how neatly the tables have been turned...
- And you get my drift.
I said that I would think about it and I will.
But actually my first thought, on leaving the appointment, was, Will they have internet access?
Man! I am a child of our times ...
They tried to make me go to rehab and I said "maybe maybe maybe" ....
Two blog recommendations of the day:
Chelle and Chel's Comical Observations
Christiano Ronaldo soccer vids blog
And one performance:
Madonna's Dangerous Liaisons Vogue performance
O, & one more blog:
The Retrospectoscope - Brit doctor working in the States
O and finally - I found this at The Disease Republik ...
SPAMMER PUNISHED! (at last!!)
a spammer who sent out 1,200,000 useless emails is to be punished for eleven years by an American court. Which means if he is rich and happens to be a hotel heiress he will get out within eleven days and exchange life in a vulgar sinbin for life locked in a luxury mansion with as much alcohol, drugs, pizza delivery, satellite TV, telephone services and internet as he can handle ... oh sorry that only happens to Paris Hilton. So she's claustrophobic. Should have thought of that before she went out driving while banned.
Everyone else has to ...
Click here for the full story ...
OK one more blog: go see Kao's cats. The text is in Spanish but it's full of itchy tabbies having entertainment. OK they may not literally be itchy but the stipes kind of itch my brain in a very tabby way~OK??!?
RUBY RED TUESDAY - More participants here
13 hours ago